Jooster and Snuna Silliness ( Snagged from Keladry Lupin)
keladry_lupin found this Mad Libs-style ficlet generator on indeedsir (the Jeeves/Wooster community), and since the results she got were so hilarious, I decided to give it a try.
The results: beyond silly, yet oddly fitting! They make just enough sense to be coherently ridiculous. *g* Have fun with them, and try it yourself if you'd like a good laugh! I'd love to see the results you get.
First, featuring Jeeves and Wooster,
Stoic Lang Syne
Jeeves sipped desperately at his drink and stood stoic behind a cocktail. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel marble-like and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how chiseled his face got when he was nervous.
Well, truth be told, Jeeves knew very well why he was at the party: to see Bertie.
Ah, Bertie. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his dignified bottom made Jeeves's heart beat like a overtaxed plumbo-jumbo.
But tonight everyone was masked. Jeeves peered boldly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Bertie. There, he thought, the man over by the Alpine hat, the innocent one with the rabbit mask. It had to be Bertie. No one else could look so childlike, even in a rabbit mask.
He began to walk Jeeves's way and Jeeves started to panic. What if he actually talked to Jeeves?
Bertie came right up to Jeeves and Jeeves thought that he was going to faint.
"Hello," Bertie said shyly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"
"Oh, just looking at the amber statuette," Jeeves said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so bally.
Just then, a dashed voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."
Jeeves's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Bertie might ...
"Happy New Year!"
Bertie swept Jeeves into his arms, bent him in the shadows, and kissed Jeeves hotly, slipping him the tongue and groping his chin.
Jeeves could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out awkwardly and pulled Bertie's mask off his face. It was Bertie! "I knew it was you," Jeeves said and took his own mask off.
"And it's ... you," Bertie said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."
Jeeves watched him go. He would be right back, Jeeves was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.
And then they would fall in love.
And then, featuring Severus and Luna,
Severus and Luna
by William Shakespeare
Enter Severus
Luna appears above at a window
Severus:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the Horklump, and Luna is the unicorn.
Arise, mysterious unicorn, and kiss the lusty Firewhisky.
See, how she leans her arse upon her cheek!
O, that I were a glove upon that cheek,
That I might touch that arse!
Luna:
O Severus, Severus! wherefore art thou Severus?
What's in a name? That which we call a heart
By any other name would smell as dark
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a virgin touched for the very first time"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove wondrous.
Severus:
Lady, by yonder lusty Firewhisky I swear
That tips by the lake the silvery Sword of Gryffindor--
Luna:
O, swear not by the Firewhisky, the dreamy Firewhisky,
That shyly changes in its sarcastic orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise sarcastic.
Sweet, whimsical night! A thousand times whimsical night!
Parting is such tall sorrow,
That I shall say whimsical night till it be morrow.
Exit above
Severus:
Sleep dwell upon thine arse, peace in thy cheek!
Would I were sleep and peace, so brightly to rest!
placidly will I to my mysterious heart's cell,
Its help to kiss, and my dark heart to tell.
That's done a good job of putting a smile on my face, and I hope it works for you, too.
The results: beyond silly, yet oddly fitting! They make just enough sense to be coherently ridiculous. *g* Have fun with them, and try it yourself if you'd like a good laugh! I'd love to see the results you get.
First, featuring Jeeves and Wooster,
Stoic Lang Syne
Jeeves sipped desperately at his drink and stood stoic behind a cocktail. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel marble-like and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how chiseled his face got when he was nervous.
Well, truth be told, Jeeves knew very well why he was at the party: to see Bertie.
Ah, Bertie. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his dignified bottom made Jeeves's heart beat like a overtaxed plumbo-jumbo.
But tonight everyone was masked. Jeeves peered boldly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Bertie. There, he thought, the man over by the Alpine hat, the innocent one with the rabbit mask. It had to be Bertie. No one else could look so childlike, even in a rabbit mask.
He began to walk Jeeves's way and Jeeves started to panic. What if he actually talked to Jeeves?
Bertie came right up to Jeeves and Jeeves thought that he was going to faint.
"Hello," Bertie said shyly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"
"Oh, just looking at the amber statuette," Jeeves said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so bally.
Just then, a dashed voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."
Jeeves's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Bertie might ...
"Happy New Year!"
Bertie swept Jeeves into his arms, bent him in the shadows, and kissed Jeeves hotly, slipping him the tongue and groping his chin.
Jeeves could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out awkwardly and pulled Bertie's mask off his face. It was Bertie! "I knew it was you," Jeeves said and took his own mask off.
"And it's ... you," Bertie said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."
Jeeves watched him go. He would be right back, Jeeves was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.
And then they would fall in love.
And then, featuring Severus and Luna,
Severus and Luna
by William Shakespeare
Enter Severus
Luna appears above at a window
Severus:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the Horklump, and Luna is the unicorn.
Arise, mysterious unicorn, and kiss the lusty Firewhisky.
See, how she leans her arse upon her cheek!
O, that I were a glove upon that cheek,
That I might touch that arse!
Luna:
O Severus, Severus! wherefore art thou Severus?
What's in a name? That which we call a heart
By any other name would smell as dark
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a virgin touched for the very first time"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove wondrous.
Severus:
Lady, by yonder lusty Firewhisky I swear
That tips by the lake the silvery Sword of Gryffindor--
Luna:
O, swear not by the Firewhisky, the dreamy Firewhisky,
That shyly changes in its sarcastic orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise sarcastic.
Sweet, whimsical night! A thousand times whimsical night!
Parting is such tall sorrow,
That I shall say whimsical night till it be morrow.
Exit above
Severus:
Sleep dwell upon thine arse, peace in thy cheek!
Would I were sleep and peace, so brightly to rest!
placidly will I to my mysterious heart's cell,
Its help to kiss, and my dark heart to tell.
That's done a good job of putting a smile on my face, and I hope it works for you, too.