You'll Never Watch Pulp Fiction the Same Way Again...
Right, I am still very behind, but I would be remiss if I didn't point this out to everybody who hasn't already seen it. It made me laugh until I hacked!
Highly recommended for those who enjoy both Shakespeare and Tarantino, or really just for anybody who enjoys amazing cleverness: If Shakespeare wrote Pulp Fiction, it might sound something ( Read more... )
Highly recommended for those who enjoy both Shakespeare and Tarantino, or really just for anybody who enjoys amazing cleverness: If Shakespeare wrote Pulp Fiction, it might sound something ( Read more... )
Snape lifted his menu and all but buried his head behind it. Jill stifled a sigh, feeling his walls coming back up, and stared blankly at her own menu. I had him for a moment, she thought. For just a second there, he wasn’t hiding everything from me.
Jill gazed over the top of her menu at her date. It had taken all of her considerable charm to get him to agree to go out with her. She grinned as she remembered the look on Leon’s face when she had shown up at the door to Snape’s small apartment; an expression that was torn between laughter, ‘someone-please-shoot-me-now,’ and ‘is that level of lovesickness contagious?’ She’d have to remember to thank him later for helping her drag Snape out on a date.
“Stop trying to burn holes in the menu, Sev.” She said gently, quirking an eyebrow in wry humor. “It hasn’t done anything to you, innocent piece of cardboard that it is. If you have to glare at someone, I’m right here. I am the one who dragged you out here after all.”
Snape mumbled something under his breath and lifted his menu a little higher.
Jill sighed. “I get it. Give me a second to talk to the waiter and we can go.”
Snape blinked at her, utterly confused.
“I’m sorry.” Jill said, scooting her chair back. “I know how much you hate being out in crowds… or public at all, for that matter. I was just being selfish. I wanted to go out with you, have a meal that didn’t involve the playplace at the nearest McDonalds and me spending twenty minutes picking French fries out of Lea’s hair. I dragged you into it, and I’m sorry.” She made to step away from the table.
A hand on her wrist stopped her. Dark eyes caught her gaze. “Don’t go. I-I’m sorry.” The words seemed to stick in his throat. “I’m rather bad at this.” His laugh was bitter and self-conscious. “Improperly socialized and all that. The only one I ever cared for spurned me and I have no experience in the matter of d-dating.”
When Jill didn’t respond for a long moment, his voice took on a pleading tone. “Don’t go… Please.”
Jill felt a smile turn her lips up and she reseated herself. “Not going anywhere. Relax. If it helps, don’t look at it as a date, but more as two friends having dinner. That work?”
His face shaded toward scarlet again and he looked down, muttering something in a tone too low for her to make out.
“I’m sorry?” Jill asked.
He met her gaze again and took a long moment to gather himself. When he spoke, his voice was clear, if still a little embarrassed. “Dinner with a friend is altogether a different matter. This is a date,” and he stressed the last word. “Which I don’t mind. Not as long as it is with you.” Before Jill could melt, the corner of his mouth quirked up in that sardonic smile she was familiar with. “Rather than one of those harridans who have recently been positively swarming the pet shop.”
Jill stifled a grin. She wouldn’t tell him that those ‘harridans’ had only started flocking to the pet shop since he had started to help out there. The ladies of the Chinatown district found D’s new assistant an irresistible mystery, and often found little errands to bring them into the shop whenever Snape was manning the front. Jill knew she had been jealous the first time she had witnessed this, but her anger had deflated as soon as she realized that he was absolutely oblivious to their attempts to flirt. Now she just found it cute… how clueless he was, not the flirting women. Them, she still wanted to feed to T-chan in small pieces.
Impulsively, she twined her fingers with those of the hand he had resting on the table, leaned over, and kissed his cheek. “I’m flattered.”
It was amusing to watch just how many new shades of red he found to turn. But his fingers stayed wrapped in hers.
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I just love this whole scene--Snape's nervous awkwardness, Jill's excitement, her desire to be a woman for once and not just Lea's mom. It's perfect, and it reminds me of why I like the idea of these two together so much. I especially adore the bit about the wine, too, because wine snob!Snape is totally canon. I assume Minerva's supplied them with some Elf-Made Red? *g* I like Jill's reminder that he's not as isolated as he thinks he is, too.
I could go on and on about this, but the bottom line is that it brightened up a grueling day and put a huge grin on my face. :D Thanks again for the thoughtful, fantastic present. What a lucky girl I am!
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You said you wanted the two of them on a date, and this is what my brain came up with.
Speaking of coming up with things, the other day after therapy, my therapist was kind enough to rub my shoulder to ease the pain in it. I melted. And since I was still in Wanderlust mode, I wrote some thing else for you. Some sheer silliness called "Of Footrubs and Foxes..."
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A/N: You could slot this in after the little Snape birthday fic I wrote you, where Leon had run over Snape's foot.
*-----------*
Jill tried to stifle a giggle, but failed miserably as a single dark eye rolled to focus on her. “Why a-are you laughing?”
Jill bit hard on her bottom lip at the slurred, drugged sound. I am not going to laugh. I am not going to laugh. I am not going to tell him he looks like a kitten drunk on its mother’s milk. I like my skin right where it is, thankyouverymuch!
But no amount of mental control was going to keep the smile off her face at the sight of the sober and far too-tightly wound Snape sprawled on the couch in D’s sitting room, one arm dangling limply off the edge with fingers just brushing the faded Persian carpet.
His head lolled to one side as he fought to bring her back into focus.
Jill grinned and dug her thumbs into the ball of his foot, avoiding the edge of the Ace bandage that was in glaring contrast to his pale skin. Just like the nurse had shown her, Jill worked the knotted muscles in his foot loose. She bit her lip hard enough to taste blood as a soft sound escaped his throat and his eyes drifted closed again. It’s one thing to enjoy a good foot massage, but the noises he’s making sound like he’s this close to having an orgasm!
Jill stifled another giggle as Snape made a sound that could only be characterized as blissful. He groaned as she worked her fingers around the arch of his foot, feeling the drawn-tight muscles shiver and ease under her fingers. His head had tipped back on the pillow, the long line of his throat vibrating with a moan that could have been stolen from the soundtrack of a porn movie.
Jill stifled another snort as she deftly worked out the cramps in the injured foot, earning a series of small sounds from Snape that definitely should have been declared illegal in all fifty states… and maybe a few other countries.
Jill glanced up at the sound of a choked gasp for breath that definitely didn’t come from the puddle of goo that had formerly been a man named Severus Snape. Leon stood in the parlor room’s doorway, bent nearly double and red as a beet as he clutched D’s shoulder in a desperate bid not to laugh himself right off his feet. D looked mildly amused, but Leon was one short step away from full-blown hilarity.
Jill had to admit, the sight was pretty priceless herself. Snape, draped bonelessly across D’s small couch, eyes closed and making some of the most sinfully obscene sounds to ever come from a human throat. If he were any more relaxed, he’d have been dead.
She glanced back at D and Leon when she heard a soft sound that didn’t come from Mush-Formerly-Known-As-Snape or Obnoxious-Partner-Orcot. D’s odd eyes were sparkling and she realized he was laughing softly under his breath. But his gaze wasn’t on the limp man currently taking over his sofa but on a pile of cushions near the back of the room. Jill followed his gaze to see Ten-chan, a supremely mischievous grin on his fox face, sprawling all over the pillows in a deliberate imitation of Snape. All four paws were in the air and his multitude of tails draped limply over the silk brocades.
As she watched, he kicked feebly with his left hind leg and lolled his head to the side, allowing his tongue to droop out of his mouth. Green eyes focused on her and one closed in a deliberate and lecherous looking wink.
*------------------*
Snape managed to raise his head, feeling more relaxed than he’d been in his entire life (even counting when he’d been drugged out of his gourd in the hospital) and watching Jill chasing the little fox-creature around D’s parlor with a pillow and an expression that couldn’t quite make up its mind on whether it wanted to be outraged or amused.
“Did I miss something here?” He managed in what might have been a threatening tone, if only he didn’t sound like he were drunk.
Snape looked on in annoyed confusion as every creature in the parlor (save himself) dissolved into gales of laughter.
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You have no idea how much I love drugged!Snape--not a lot, I mean, just a little woozy/tipsy/vulnerable. And wow, what a footrub! Lucky man, even if he doesn't get why the joke is so funny. ;-) It seems very right to me that when his inhibitions are lowered, Snape is really, really appreciative of Jill's... er, handiwork. *g*
And of course I adore Ten-chan being his usual mischievous self! That's so perfectly him, being a clown and a rascal at the same time.
Thank you again for this! I hope your shoulder is starting to improve, even though I'm sure PT is a real pain. I have a doctor's appointment in about an hour, so I'll get a chance to see how I'm improving. I feel like I am... just not as quickly as I like. But then, maybe I'm just too demanding.
(Maybe I'm just like my father, 2 bold...)
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Thank you, yes, it is improving, slowly but surely. Glad to hear you're doing a bit better yourself (referring to recent post) even though it's no fun with your chest congested like that. Been there, done that. Today I have no voice, only a squeaky thing that sounds like Mickey Mouse on Speed and a raw feeling throat, but the weather's been even more spastic than usual and that may well be the cause. It was 40 and foggy last night. It had been about 75 when I got off work. *shrugs*
Glad you enjoyed this. It was written under the influence of Loritab and massage... a deadly combination. I imagine Snape returning from the hospital with his muscles in knots and Jill offering to help.
Ten, as usual, kind of snuck his way in there and had a lot to say about the proceedings without even opening his mouth. He couldn't resist a chance to tease Jill.
Hmm, Snape did seem quite appreciative of Jill's skills. Did I write him as too uninhibited? Snape is hardly my forte.
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Glad to hear your shoulder is improving! I'm sorry about the allergies; I'm having problems with those, too. The up-and-down weather is horrible for them. Believe it or not, it was right around 70 here today, when only days ago, it was in the thirties.
I don't think Snape was too uninhibited at all! He was drugged and in pain, after all, and with Jill, too, so he was more relaxed. I can see him as being very responsive in that situation.
And I think you write Snape better than you think you do. :-)
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He was drugged and in pain, after all, and with Jill, too, so he was more relaxed. I can see him as being very responsive in that situation.
And with that a smut-bunny just hopped right in through the window. *facepalms*
Yeah, it's no fun. I'm really good friends with my bottle of Cloraseptic right now. Stuff tastes vile, but it does numb the throat like nothing else.
Hope you feel better.
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one of the best Snape writers around.
~blushes~ You're too kind! I really do like the way you write Snape, you know.
You'll probably hate me for this, but I'm cheering for the smut bunny! :D
Ugh, I hate it when my throat gets that sore. I think Halls makes a super extra-strength lozenge that really helps with very sore throats; I seem to recall downing a lot of those the last time I had tonsilitis.
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I only tell the truth as I see it, luv. You have the best characterization and by far the best understanding of the character I've ever seen, bar none (and that does include JKR in that too)! You understand he's human, and has weaknesses and flaws and hidden strengths, and yet never play him off as a pathetic figure, as many are wont to do. In your hands, he can be temperamental and sarcastic and yet still come off with dignity, when you show that underneath the cutting wit is a person both wise and innocent. He is prone to moments of childish behavior and still be the unparalleled Potions Master.
And all that comes from your fic.
Though I do thank you for liking my characterization of him, it feels like a pale second to me.
Ugh... I despise lozenges. I can barely stand the spray and that's gone in seconds. The thought of sucking on one of those horrid things makes my stomach twitch. At least this leave my throat pleasantly numb.
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I appreciate it even more than you can guess, because I'm on a mission to finish off a story draft tonight, and it's been rough going. I really needed that vote of confidence!
Re: lozenges, I have to admit that they taste vile. However, the ones I'm thinking of were so super-powerful that they essentially made my mouth, tongue and throat so numb that I wasn't really able to mind the taste. But yeah, the advantage of the spray is that it's quickly over and done with.
If you're losing your voice, a friend of mine who's a professional vocalist drinks a concoction that's made up of one mug of hot water, two tablespoons cider vinegar and one tablespoon of honey. I've used it to good effect when I'm sick and can't afford to be without my voice, and although it won't win any awards for its pleasant smell, it doesn't really taste very nasty.
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I tend to (once I have a feel for a character)zealously guard my image of them. I'm rather loyal that way. I'm fiercely loyal to your version of Snape.
You captured me with your first drabble on PSOHdrabble. You are an astounding writer and I will be among the first to tell someone what I think of their skill and/or lack thereof.
You will manage to finish that draft and it will be, as usual, a work of literary art. I have that confidence in you.
Thanks for the advice. I've been nursing cup after cup of green tea with honey and lemon and that does seem to help a bit. I'll try the vinegar before work tomorrow.
Your whole mouth was numb? Wow. I might have to try one of those.
Hall's, you said?
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Tea with lemon and honey is always a good choice for a sore throat! The cough drops were definitely Halls, and they came in a plastic box, rather than a bag. They might be called Halls Max; I'm not sure. Wallgreens or any local drugstore chain might have their own generic version of them, too. They're loaded with, basically, topical anesthetic, so yes, they make everything they touch numb.
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"Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around..." Believe that I do believe in you. Still one of the best writers around...
Yeah... Tea does help, though I'll regret it later when I'm waking up every five minutes to run to the Ladies room. I have to go the therapy in the morning and stop at CVS to pick up my prescription, so I'll look for the Halls when I'm there.
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