On Solitude, or: Something I Have Learned About Myself

[bluestocking79]

I tend to write more about the physical aspects of Project Peacock, and those aspects are important--indeed, much more important than those who reflexively sneer at or dismiss fashion and style and outward self-expression realize or would credit. But one of the things about restoring my outward self to the person I am, and choose to be, is that

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[concupiscence66]

So first of all, I wrote a Good Omens fic http://concupiscence66.livejournal.com/tag/good%20omens for queerfest last year! I don't know Petshop of Horrors but I love Mulder and Scully. I love how the show took such a restrained approach in showing their care for one another. It's really what I hope we'll see in the American Sherlock Holmes tv, a male and female who have a real friendship that isn't just leading up to a romance. I hate the saying "just friends" as though friendship were secondary to anything. Like friendship isn't as special as a romantic relationship. The Boosh are such a good example of how love and attraction isn't just restricted to a romantic relationship. Julian is a lucky man to have not one but two beautiful and hilarious wives. I have guy friend who, in another life, might have been romatic partners but their my boys! We're going out Friday and we're going to drink, swear, and talk about our feelings over hot wings.

When I was home for two years, I really relied on internet friends and it was amazing to get to know people from all over. It still blows my mind when I talk to someone in Australia and it's already tomorrow there! They live in the future! When my husband's band had a video go viral, a friend in England saw it on the local news. Whether it's an old friend I talk to once a year, an internet friend who doesn't know my real name or a friend I see on a regular basis - they all bring out a different side of me and leave their mark on me somehow.

As a mental health worker, self-reflection is a big thing (if you actually want to be good at your job) because it's so easy to project your missues on someone else and actually make them worse. Now I have a toddler to literally reflect my behaviors to me and it's pretty interesting. She was chasing her dolly around sing songing, "Put your jacket on, put your jacket on" and now she'll put her hand under my chin and say I'm cute or push my hair back and tell me I'm beautiful. It's good to know I'm putting across that love and not the stress and irritation that I'm also feeling on a daily basis.

[bluestocking79]

Eeeeee, Good Omens fic! Petshop of Horrors is a manga series that's superficially about a sort of supernatural pet shop where people with personal issues get the pets they most need--or deserve. But mostly, it's about the relationship between the very beautiful and androgynous proprietor of the shop, Count D (who is utterly charming, loves clothes and sweets, and is frequently mistaken for a woman) and the detective who's supposed to be keeping tabs on him, Leon Orcot (who is gruff, scruffy, and emotionally damaged, but essentially kind). I'm pretty sure you can see where that's going. ;-)

Boy, I agree with you about people not giving friendship its due. The love of friendship can be deep--even deeper than romance, sometimes!--and enduring, and very beautiful and moving. I think Mulder and Scully are a great example of that. There was also sexual/romantic awareness there, sure, eventually, but their love for each other was always rooted in friendship first, and it was so big. They did amazing things for one another out of love and care, long before they were together romantically, and they're proof that "just friends" isn't "just" anything.

Gosh. Now I'm feeling the need to revisit the X-Files. *g*

Yeah, I can see why self-reflection would be very necessary in that situation! But your description of your daughter is SO cute. I think it says a lot about what she picks up from/about you, and it's good stuff. :D It makes me so happy when my oldest goddaughter says that she wants to be like me, and I see that her interpretation of that is dressing how she likes and being true to herself, refusing to be pressured to be something else. It took me a LONG time to learn that for myself, and I'm glad that she's picking that up and feeling that now, while she's young. <3

[concupiscence66]

I clearly need to check out Petshop!

After my comments on how I'm clearly raising my daughter in a wonderful way because she emulates my marvelous parenting... We just spent half an hour in her bedroom taking care of one of her babydolls. She would put the baby down for a nap, in a drawer, and then announce the baby was awake and hungry and fed the baby fake icecream. I don't remember keeping my baby in a drawer or feeding her icecream but... I'll admit I was pretty sleep deprived that first year! She was also walking around with her baby in a bucket and saying she was looking for her prince. My husband's response was, "Already?"

[bluestocking79]

I recommend Petshop! For the characters/relationship alone, it's worth it. And D's clothes are beautiful.

Ahahaha! Well... you know, that first year IS pretty tough, and you don't get a lot of sleep! What I want to know is: did her baby organize the socks while she was in the drawer? ;-)