(no subject)
Sitting at the stoplight at Carrol and I-35, I imagined myself turning right to go north up 35 rather than continuing straight to go back to work, just heading north, go go go. I thought about going to Portland, just because I've wanted to go to that place ever since that time Dylan and I got inebriated and decided that was a place we wanted to go and I decided I still wanted to go even after we broke up, but I should probably head out there first and check it out before I loaded up the U-Haul.
Then reason kicked in.
First, I thought about the fact that the shirt I'm wearing smells kinda funky, and I should probably head back to my apartment and get some clothes.
Then I thought about the fact the Cabrio is about 1000 miles overdue for an oil change (by the every 3000 mile standard, though my owner's manual says I should just get it changed every 5000 miles).
Then I started pondering the financial impacts of running off to Portland (well, I thought of Austin initially, but I've been there before and it's fucking humid right now anyway...Denton is bad enough!). I'd lose my job, of course, and my then apartment, and I'd wreck my credit because I am a minimum payment on my two credit cards from doing that anyway, but I thought about how most of my stuff is old and worn out anyway, I could tell my mom and sis just to sell or donate everything, just save the quilts. Then again, I'd probably grab those when I grabbed my clothes. I wondered just how much would fit in a Volkswagon anyway...not much.
I'd probably only take 2 pairs of shoes.
This is my problem:
I am entirely too pragmatic to do...well...anything.
Also, after a conversation post-bar with Kat, I've come to the firm and unfortunate realization that I don't really demand anything from anyone. It's true. I'm too afraid of people answering "fuck no!" as opposed to "well, since you put it that way, sure!" or even "I'll think about it."
I need a change, big or small or both, but I'm not sure about how to go about it.
(And on an unrelated note, I think I'm hilarious when I'm being whiney and depressed. I'm not sure anyone else feels the same, but I think I'm a laugh riot.)
Then reason kicked in.
First, I thought about the fact that the shirt I'm wearing smells kinda funky, and I should probably head back to my apartment and get some clothes.
Then I thought about the fact the Cabrio is about 1000 miles overdue for an oil change (by the every 3000 mile standard, though my owner's manual says I should just get it changed every 5000 miles).
Then I started pondering the financial impacts of running off to Portland (well, I thought of Austin initially, but I've been there before and it's fucking humid right now anyway...Denton is bad enough!). I'd lose my job, of course, and my then apartment, and I'd wreck my credit because I am a minimum payment on my two credit cards from doing that anyway, but I thought about how most of my stuff is old and worn out anyway, I could tell my mom and sis just to sell or donate everything, just save the quilts. Then again, I'd probably grab those when I grabbed my clothes. I wondered just how much would fit in a Volkswagon anyway...not much.
I'd probably only take 2 pairs of shoes.
This is my problem:
I am entirely too pragmatic to do...well...anything.
Also, after a conversation post-bar with Kat, I've come to the firm and unfortunate realization that I don't really demand anything from anyone. It's true. I'm too afraid of people answering "fuck no!" as opposed to "well, since you put it that way, sure!" or even "I'll think about it."
I need a change, big or small or both, but I'm not sure about how to go about it.
(And on an unrelated note, I think I'm hilarious when I'm being whiney and depressed. I'm not sure anyone else feels the same, but I think I'm a laugh riot.)