(no subject)
Always when I return to Fort Wayne I expect to have mixed feelings. One part happiness, one part sadness, and an even larger part of confusion. The past few times I have visited have been more or less been unsuccessful. And because of that, I have not seen many of my friends much in the past two years.
But all in all, this visit was great. I got to see my old group of friends, and tie up loose ends that have been bothering me for the past few years. I went to Snicker’s and Pierre’s with Keirstin and assured myself that she is in fact happy. I got to baby-sit my niece and remind myself what’s most important in life. But above all, I gained back some sense of security in my life.
I reminded myself I have a past. It’s in Fort Wayne, with the people who are still here and still do care about me.
It’s scary and exciting to see where everyone is going with their lives. Where I’M going with my life. Zac and Lauren are engaged now and looking for a house, something I didn’t foresee happening when I urged them together two summers ago. Billy has bought a house, and Brenda is looking for one. Mike Ripley and Abby are marrying in less than a year and are also looking for a house. Ryan is going to law school, maybe in New York.
I’m looking seriously at moving to Portland. It’s a place that just feels right. Close to mountains and volcanoes and rivers and rainforests and national parks. Three hours away from Seattle, close to the Pacific coast, not far from California and one of my favorite places-San Francisco. Also, not far is one of the most beautiful parts of Canada in Vancouver. They call it the greenest city in America, and it seems more European. Lots of hippies. But for once, I feel like there’s a place I can maybe fit in. Regardless, I feel like it’s something I should try. The fact that it’s literally across the country is somewhat daunting though. And I keep finding jobs in Chicago rather than Portland....
I feel a lot better. Well, even better than before.
But all in all, this visit was great. I got to see my old group of friends, and tie up loose ends that have been bothering me for the past few years. I went to Snicker’s and Pierre’s with Keirstin and assured myself that she is in fact happy. I got to baby-sit my niece and remind myself what’s most important in life. But above all, I gained back some sense of security in my life.
I reminded myself I have a past. It’s in Fort Wayne, with the people who are still here and still do care about me.
It’s scary and exciting to see where everyone is going with their lives. Where I’M going with my life. Zac and Lauren are engaged now and looking for a house, something I didn’t foresee happening when I urged them together two summers ago. Billy has bought a house, and Brenda is looking for one. Mike Ripley and Abby are marrying in less than a year and are also looking for a house. Ryan is going to law school, maybe in New York.
I’m looking seriously at moving to Portland. It’s a place that just feels right. Close to mountains and volcanoes and rivers and rainforests and national parks. Three hours away from Seattle, close to the Pacific coast, not far from California and one of my favorite places-San Francisco. Also, not far is one of the most beautiful parts of Canada in Vancouver. They call it the greenest city in America, and it seems more European. Lots of hippies. But for once, I feel like there’s a place I can maybe fit in. Regardless, I feel like it’s something I should try. The fact that it’s literally across the country is somewhat daunting though. And I keep finding jobs in Chicago rather than Portland....
I feel a lot better. Well, even better than before.