survival mode
So I guess I've started to go into survival mode, thinking about the least amount of money that I can spend every month and how I can have my paychecks strech. It's really something I should have been doing all along, not spending fruitlessly and saving everything I didn't need to stay alive. I guess I think I'm rich or something. I hope one day I will look back at this time and be like...I can't believe we did that. I can't say I'm ready to start coupon clipping or anything and I definitely don't want a handout, but I am terrified. My parents will always help me...well not always, they will eventually die right? But there always comes this hidden clause when accepting money from parents, they can use it against you at any moment and my mom LOVES to do that!
I wonder how employers can do this to their employees. Do they feel guilty at all? How could they, they don't work here or have even met the people they employ. We are just numbers to them, numbers that are too high that they must cut down because they are money grubbing paranoid Asians. Never in a winter that I've worked here have they gone to this step to cut down on expenses. We are donig way better than last year at this time, but with the economic times they are just paranoid. Numbers aren't people, so it's easier to cut the bottom line if you think about it that way I'm sure. They don't have to wonder where the money is coming from each month, or if they will have to get rid of cable because that's an added expense they will have to live without just so they can eat. I feel so much anger at them, so much at James even. I know so much pressure is put on him from them and it's not necessarily his fault, but his atitude makes me so angry. There's nothing I can do about it right...just keep praying that I find another job soon...or at all, I could be stuck here for the rest of my life.
keep praying...oh Lord.
I wonder how employers can do this to their employees. Do they feel guilty at all? How could they, they don't work here or have even met the people they employ. We are just numbers to them, numbers that are too high that they must cut down because they are money grubbing paranoid Asians. Never in a winter that I've worked here have they gone to this step to cut down on expenses. We are donig way better than last year at this time, but with the economic times they are just paranoid. Numbers aren't people, so it's easier to cut the bottom line if you think about it that way I'm sure. They don't have to wonder where the money is coming from each month, or if they will have to get rid of cable because that's an added expense they will have to live without just so they can eat. I feel so much anger at them, so much at James even. I know so much pressure is put on him from them and it's not necessarily his fault, but his atitude makes me so angry. There's nothing I can do about it right...just keep praying that I find another job soon...or at all, I could be stuck here for the rest of my life.
keep praying...oh Lord.