The sad, but hopeful truth of it is....
Date created: 2003-09-10 15:19:44
Date updated: 2005-12-01 10:32:15, 22 hours ago
Journal entries: 604
Comments: Posted: 3,219 - Received: 3,112
And, my friends and long time confidants, I'm afraid it's time to let the journal die.
In 2003, I started this journal under the instruction of a Dom I no longer really have contact with.
In 2004, I struggled with my marriage and a few too many suicide plans.
In 2005, I grew a set of wings, got divorced, and remarried.
I have grown, and yet stayed the same. I have come to understand that the desperate need I had to be understood and cared about was OK. I found that I was using my black box as a crutch, but one that helped give me time to discover myself.
I went a little over board at times, to say the least, but I was fairly safe through it all. I learned that I could take care of myself, even in the toughest situations.
I learned that life does not need to be lead alone, but that it doesn't hurt to be able to stand on your own two feet.
I have loved so many people in my life, have opened my heart to so many, that I'm surprised that it took me this long to realize my ideals of family and friends. I struggle over what I want and what I believe is the best for my little world. This, however, is something I know now and can face.
So, I'm going to delete this journal shortly. After I print this out and store it away for some rainy day, I'm deleting this well worn journal.
It's for the best, as I'm letting go of some of the hardest parts of my life and starting over. Whether or not I'll have another on line journal, I don't know, but this one...
Well, bluesinnn has died. And its time we let her rest in peace.
Date updated: 2005-12-01 10:32:15, 22 hours ago
Journal entries: 604
Comments: Posted: 3,219 - Received: 3,112
And, my friends and long time confidants, I'm afraid it's time to let the journal die.
In 2003, I started this journal under the instruction of a Dom I no longer really have contact with.
In 2004, I struggled with my marriage and a few too many suicide plans.
In 2005, I grew a set of wings, got divorced, and remarried.
I have grown, and yet stayed the same. I have come to understand that the desperate need I had to be understood and cared about was OK. I found that I was using my black box as a crutch, but one that helped give me time to discover myself.
I went a little over board at times, to say the least, but I was fairly safe through it all. I learned that I could take care of myself, even in the toughest situations.
I learned that life does not need to be lead alone, but that it doesn't hurt to be able to stand on your own two feet.
I have loved so many people in my life, have opened my heart to so many, that I'm surprised that it took me this long to realize my ideals of family and friends. I struggle over what I want and what I believe is the best for my little world. This, however, is something I know now and can face.
So, I'm going to delete this journal shortly. After I print this out and store it away for some rainy day, I'm deleting this well worn journal.
It's for the best, as I'm letting go of some of the hardest parts of my life and starting over. Whether or not I'll have another on line journal, I don't know, but this one...
Well, bluesinnn has died. And its time we let her rest in peace.