No Illusions About You
No Illusions About You
-For Brave New World verse.
-Prompt "As Is" by Ani Difranco requested by likedillinger at the song drabble meme. More songs up for grab here.
-Summary: Elle knows better than to expect more than whatever she can get from a Dean.
-Word Count: 522
-Staring: Elle and Dean likedillinger with some references to the other Dean startswinging.
The last thing Elle had expected to happen was getting involved with another Dean.
Okay, so maybe involved wasn’t the right word, because that would imply they were actually in some of relationship, and she wasn’t dumb enough to fall for that twice.
Still, it was something, and sometimes, it was better than nothing.
It had started out with him coming by to check on her after the whole being possessed by Rosier thing. Apparently he had felt responsible for her or some shit like that. He had refused to leave until she managed to force down cheap pizza (he claimed she had looked too skinny). He said he’d be coming by soon again.
He wasn’t lying like she had hoped he was.
He showed up a few days later and told her they were going out. She didn’t want to go out (couldn’t remember the last time she left her apartment) and she especially didn’t want to go out with him. Sure, she knew logically that he wasn’t the Dean she had killed, the one who had cheated on her, but it didn’t matter. He looked the same, sounded the same, and when he was around it was harder to ignore the pain she didn’t want to admit she felt over the situation.
But her refusals were denied, and he yelled at her, telling her to stop feeling sorry for herself and oddly enough that was enough to get her to finally relent and go out. She knew it was no coincidence that he chose a bar that looked almost exactly like the one Rosier had hung out in.
That night is when things shifted. They got really drunk and went back to her apartment where they preceded to screw each other’s brains out. His touch was familiar, but different. Comforting and hurtful all at once but it was better than being by herself, so she took it for what it was worth.
And periodically, when he was in town, this is what they did now. They got drunk and fooled around and Elle could pretend there was more going on then there was, just like she had with the other Dean. And then eventually, they’d wake up the next morning, he’d get dressed and they would part ways.
It wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t even friendly. Their interactions were basically made of a combination of guilt and loneliness. Dean felt responsible for her situation and Elle just wanted someone she could pretend with, even for a little while.
One day, when he was buttoning up his shirt he asked her if they should stop. He didn’t want to hurt her. Didn’t want her to lead her on into thinking there was more going on then there was.
And Elle just smiled and shook her head. She said it was fine. She knew not to get her hopes up anymore. This didn’t mean anything. But even still, it was better than nothing.
She knew better than to hope for more than something like this. She was too damaged to love, she was pretty sure.
So she would take what she could get.
-For Brave New World verse.
-Prompt "As Is" by Ani Difranco requested by likedillinger at the song drabble meme. More songs up for grab here.
-Summary: Elle knows better than to expect more than whatever she can get from a Dean.
-Word Count: 522
-Staring: Elle and Dean likedillinger with some references to the other Dean startswinging.
The last thing Elle had expected to happen was getting involved with another Dean.
Okay, so maybe involved wasn’t the right word, because that would imply they were actually in some of relationship, and she wasn’t dumb enough to fall for that twice.
Still, it was something, and sometimes, it was better than nothing.
It had started out with him coming by to check on her after the whole being possessed by Rosier thing. Apparently he had felt responsible for her or some shit like that. He had refused to leave until she managed to force down cheap pizza (he claimed she had looked too skinny). He said he’d be coming by soon again.
He wasn’t lying like she had hoped he was.
He showed up a few days later and told her they were going out. She didn’t want to go out (couldn’t remember the last time she left her apartment) and she especially didn’t want to go out with him. Sure, she knew logically that he wasn’t the Dean she had killed, the one who had cheated on her, but it didn’t matter. He looked the same, sounded the same, and when he was around it was harder to ignore the pain she didn’t want to admit she felt over the situation.
But her refusals were denied, and he yelled at her, telling her to stop feeling sorry for herself and oddly enough that was enough to get her to finally relent and go out. She knew it was no coincidence that he chose a bar that looked almost exactly like the one Rosier had hung out in.
That night is when things shifted. They got really drunk and went back to her apartment where they preceded to screw each other’s brains out. His touch was familiar, but different. Comforting and hurtful all at once but it was better than being by herself, so she took it for what it was worth.
And periodically, when he was in town, this is what they did now. They got drunk and fooled around and Elle could pretend there was more going on then there was, just like she had with the other Dean. And then eventually, they’d wake up the next morning, he’d get dressed and they would part ways.
It wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t even friendly. Their interactions were basically made of a combination of guilt and loneliness. Dean felt responsible for her situation and Elle just wanted someone she could pretend with, even for a little while.
One day, when he was buttoning up his shirt he asked her if they should stop. He didn’t want to hurt her. Didn’t want her to lead her on into thinking there was more going on then there was.
And Elle just smiled and shook her head. She said it was fine. She knew not to get her hopes up anymore. This didn’t mean anything. But even still, it was better than nothing.
She knew better than to hope for more than something like this. She was too damaged to love, she was pretty sure.
So she would take what she could get.