on the road again...
So it's been a while. I know I keep starting every entry that way but it's true. I keep saying I'll be faithful but alas, I've strayed. Travel has been my mistress and today I will be indulgent: I'm off to Bangkok. I've spent the last week and a half in Hong Kong and Beijing (respectively) and it's been the usual chaos that is "coming home". This time, I brought an excuse to do all the touristy stuff: Dan. My mother and I have been acting as chaperones and bodyguards while we take Dan around to see the sights and hear the sounds of Asia. Bangkok is the end leg of our trip, before we return to HK for our last week and chill out and relax. It's been a while since I've been back to Thailand and I do reminisce about the days gone by. Ahhh, to be young again.
I've done some thinking about my residence in Seattle and part of that has to do with the whole reason for coming back out to Asia: I've just gotten my permanent ID card for Hong Kong. That means a lot of things but for me, most importantly, it means that I can come back to Hong Kong and live and work without having to find a visa, without needing my parents here, and without having to worry about how long I can stay. I have earned the right of abode. Now, of course, there is the looming fact that my parents won't be here forever... and that time seems just around the corner, what with retirement coming soon and them wanting to buy their house in Hawaii. Ultimately, I would love to be in Hawaii... but there's still that part of me that's not yet done with HK. My heart is still here, not to mention my friends. If only I could speak the language a little better (I have come a long way though, I must admit)... if only I could blend in a little more (looks-wise, I'm still a foreign asian face)... if only. Of course, there's also the matter of finding that someone I'd like to spend my life with. As time drags on I worry that I'll never find that someone (and I'm pretty sure none of the guys in HK would be interested in me)... so then the question becomes, where would I be happiest settling down on my own? To that, I have no answer.
Then the question begs to be asked: What makes me happy? I was in the car just a few minutes ago (J was driving me and Dan back home) and I thought about that. I got a little nostalgic and yearned for the time when I could just BE... when life wasn't a worry. I suppose what makes me happy is being surrounded by the people I love. So, where are they? They're everywhere... and thus, my dilemma. My heart aches inside because I'm torn between choosing family over friends... but is that what it really comes down to? What do I want? I thought I knew but it seems I'm just as confused as ever.
... if only there were someone who could help me make those choices...
... if only I didn't need to be helped...
Will the cycle ever end?
That aside, I'm still excited about this trip. It's been a blast taking photos with my new camera (did I mention I got a new digital SLR for my birthday?!)... and I really think I'm going to try to figure out how to get back into it. Perhaps find a small gallery or something to display my work... maybe even change majors (is English still the way to go for me?). The possibilities and options presented for me are endless as always and it's exciting to see the world open up again from a different perspective. I saw the world through the eyes of a child and now, I'll see them as an adult (well, as close to an adult as I suppose I'll become). It will be interesting to see the differences; have I become jaded, am I still as curious, can the littlest things still capture my attention?
I've done some thinking about my residence in Seattle and part of that has to do with the whole reason for coming back out to Asia: I've just gotten my permanent ID card for Hong Kong. That means a lot of things but for me, most importantly, it means that I can come back to Hong Kong and live and work without having to find a visa, without needing my parents here, and without having to worry about how long I can stay. I have earned the right of abode. Now, of course, there is the looming fact that my parents won't be here forever... and that time seems just around the corner, what with retirement coming soon and them wanting to buy their house in Hawaii. Ultimately, I would love to be in Hawaii... but there's still that part of me that's not yet done with HK. My heart is still here, not to mention my friends. If only I could speak the language a little better (I have come a long way though, I must admit)... if only I could blend in a little more (looks-wise, I'm still a foreign asian face)... if only. Of course, there's also the matter of finding that someone I'd like to spend my life with. As time drags on I worry that I'll never find that someone (and I'm pretty sure none of the guys in HK would be interested in me)... so then the question becomes, where would I be happiest settling down on my own? To that, I have no answer.
Then the question begs to be asked: What makes me happy? I was in the car just a few minutes ago (J was driving me and Dan back home) and I thought about that. I got a little nostalgic and yearned for the time when I could just BE... when life wasn't a worry. I suppose what makes me happy is being surrounded by the people I love. So, where are they? They're everywhere... and thus, my dilemma. My heart aches inside because I'm torn between choosing family over friends... but is that what it really comes down to? What do I want? I thought I knew but it seems I'm just as confused as ever.
... if only there were someone who could help me make those choices...
... if only I didn't need to be helped...
Will the cycle ever end?
That aside, I'm still excited about this trip. It's been a blast taking photos with my new camera (did I mention I got a new digital SLR for my birthday?!)... and I really think I'm going to try to figure out how to get back into it. Perhaps find a small gallery or something to display my work... maybe even change majors (is English still the way to go for me?). The possibilities and options presented for me are endless as always and it's exciting to see the world open up again from a different perspective. I saw the world through the eyes of a child and now, I'll see them as an adult (well, as close to an adult as I suppose I'll become). It will be interesting to see the differences; have I become jaded, am I still as curious, can the littlest things still capture my attention?