it comes in waves...
... this feeling of yearning, of loneliness... sometimes I feel it so strongly that I want to spend my money and go down there again, despite the fact that I can't afford it... it hurts so badly that I start to break down while I'm driving.
... and then, it subsides and I feel like a whole person again, moving on to find someone for myself and if not that then at least getting comfortable again with my single-dom.
Last night I went on a walk in the sprinkling rain... walked to Fremont, had dinner, walked back again... made some pit stops on the way to buy a shirt or two... but it was nice. I had Nora by my side and she kept me company as I strolled along, ate with me, and kept the conversation going. When she left I didn't want to go back inside... I just wanted to keep walking. The walking helps me forget some of my cares... in renews my spirit... when everything else continues to carry on without him, well, shouldn't I too?
I think this is an improvement... the waviness. It means that the clearing, through the storm, is near and soon I'll see the light again and be content as I once was to be on my own. Someday soon. But for now, I still have the pain in my heart.
... and then, it subsides and I feel like a whole person again, moving on to find someone for myself and if not that then at least getting comfortable again with my single-dom.
Last night I went on a walk in the sprinkling rain... walked to Fremont, had dinner, walked back again... made some pit stops on the way to buy a shirt or two... but it was nice. I had Nora by my side and she kept me company as I strolled along, ate with me, and kept the conversation going. When she left I didn't want to go back inside... I just wanted to keep walking. The walking helps me forget some of my cares... in renews my spirit... when everything else continues to carry on without him, well, shouldn't I too?
I think this is an improvement... the waviness. It means that the clearing, through the storm, is near and soon I'll see the light again and be content as I once was to be on my own. Someday soon. But for now, I still have the pain in my heart.