forgiveness
with yom kippur coming up i have been thinking a lot about forgiveness. im not even sure what it is. every time i try to ask brent to forgive me i change my mind or do something bitchy so that he wont feel compelled to. i rarely let people apologize to me except for the most vagrant of transgrievences. i guess i should seek forgivness from my parents for being a selfish difficult child, amongst other things. i really should as dave what i'm supposed to be doing during the holiest of weeks but i dont want to talk to him right now. if anyone needs to seek forgiveness from me its him. hes been such an ass. he wasn't worth it.
i actually realized today on my way to work (running late as usual) that i miss westford. i miss my cute apartment with the guy that loved me unconditionally. i'll never have that again. i'll never be with another guy that loves me more than i loved him. i know thats not fair but thats how it is. i dumped the one guy that would have married me. i think im repeating myself from previous entries but i dont care.
so these are the days of awe. full of self doubt and have moves towards atonement and forgiveness. I DONT KNOW WHAT THESE THINGS MEAN! I don't know what i'm supposed to be doing. i so rarely apologize that i dont even know if i know how anymore. ok i have other stuff i need to do
i actually realized today on my way to work (running late as usual) that i miss westford. i miss my cute apartment with the guy that loved me unconditionally. i'll never have that again. i'll never be with another guy that loves me more than i loved him. i know thats not fair but thats how it is. i dumped the one guy that would have married me. i think im repeating myself from previous entries but i dont care.
so these are the days of awe. full of self doubt and have moves towards atonement and forgiveness. I DONT KNOW WHAT THESE THINGS MEAN! I don't know what i'm supposed to be doing. i so rarely apologize that i dont even know if i know how anymore. ok i have other stuff i need to do