*sigh*
Well, it's another rainy day. No work...no money and I'm bored. I'm trying to find a job that will provide me with the chance to make really good money during the day. No wait, check that, I'm looking for a job that will provide me with a steady pay check or steady funds coming in. I'm soo behind in my bills and keep falling behind, because I'm not making enough to cover what I've spent. That day I took Jeff out for his birthday really hurt more than I thought it was going to. I didn't think I was going to have this much trouble bouncing back from it. I don't know what to do about the lack of money coming in or to do with the pile of bills I have. It seems as if the more I make, the more I pay out to my bills, the less I have. I don't get it. I don't remember having this much of a problem with my bills before, so I don't know why I do, now. On top of that, I'm moving into a house, which needs lots of work. Jeff's going to be living there with me. And with looking at my current situation with money and bills, I don't know if it's a good idea that I do this. I don't have the extra money to pay the bills and if I don't have the extra money, now, what makes me think I have the extra money when I'm going to need it? I'm hoping that I will be able to get rid of a couple of credit card bills that I have and be able to see the extra money coming in. On top of that, I don't know what's going on with me and Jeff. The relationship seems great, but for some reason, there are a few things that I just don't know about. There are just somethings that I don't know how to take or how to react to. I never encounter some of the things that he does or have and just never actually seen it before. I don't know, anymore. I think that I need to step back and review this whole relationship. It's a good relationship, don't get me wrong. I just think that maybe, some time apart would help. I don't know if us being together all the time is a good thing. Ugh...I don't know. All I know is, whenever it comes around this time, or any specific holiday of sorts, I get depressed and start evaluating things in my life in a different way. My birthday is around the corner and I don't know what's going to happen for that. I know I have to work the Saturday after and I haven't asked for the night off, yet, nor do I think that Jeff's asked my mom to have someone cover for me. I don't know. Maybe I won't have a birthday worth remembering. I don't think I want one. *sigh*....