Unresolved feelings....
Yesterday, Jeff and I got into a discussion about trust. For some reason, I don't know why and he can't explain it, he doesn't trust me. It's not so much that he doesn't trust me, he's just afraid to lose me. He has some inkling that I'm going to leave him or that he's going to lose me for either another guy, or some stupid reason. I told him that I trust him and am not worried about him going anywhere or doing anything just as long as he tells me that he's got plans so I can make plans or find something to do instead of waiting on him. He then says that I don't trust him. I said yes, I do, cuz if I didn't I would of had a problem with him going to Yankee Stadium, today, without me. He said that I do have a problem with it and that I'm just lying or not admitting it. That really pissed me off. I REALLY hate it when people tell me what I feel and what I don't. I KNOW what I feel and what I don't. There's no need for someone to tell what I'm feeling. I stormed off after that comment. I went into my meeting for work and sat down. Everyone looked at me and knew from expression on my face, something was wrong. Tyler in particular, didn't like it. He was extreamly concerned. After the meeting was over, I went to my area and started to set up. I had to go back into the office to get something. Jeff was there. He tapped me or jokingly pushed me and I shot him a dirty look. He was shocked at my expression and asked what was wrong. I told him I was mad at him. He then asked what he did. I walked out of the office. I didn't give him an answer. He then walked out after me and stopped me. I told him what was bothering me. He understood. He realized that he fucked up and that he was at fault. Tyler then pulled me out of my area, before the shift started and I told him what was wrong. He then asked me if I wanted him to talk to Jeff. I told him no. Then later in the day, I thought about it. Maybe it would be a good idea if Tyler talked to Jeff. Out of all the people in the building that would get through to Jeff as to how important it is for him to watch what he does to me, it would be Tyler. Tyler still has unresolved feelings for me and hasn't gotten over me, even though he's married. Tyler admitted to me one night, when he was cocked, that he loves me. I was shocked. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what to say to that. I know that Tyler and I would have been great if we stayed together, but that's over now and I am happy where I am. Jeff makes me happy and I love him. Jeff told me that he loves me. He explained to me why and what it is about me that he loves. For some reason, he had hard time explaining it to me, then again, he was also half asleep when he did it, so....Wow....it's late, and I got to get ready for work...Yikes, I'm gonna be late!!!