my heart's colder
I lost a little chunk of faith in the world today; things became twisted. The kind of thing that makes me wanna stop listening to Metric all the time and go back to my chemical romance. Although i do find it ironic that my top most played song is Incubus' "Here in My Room," which... yeah, it's ironic.
Sorry if this doesn't make much sense. Just know that, and a dear friend called this to my attention-- God didn't necessarily teach me this, but what i learned today is that when you put too much faith in one person, they can end up really not being the person you thought they were, and so the carpet gets pulled out from under you and you fall and you hit your head when you should've kept your primary faith in God all along. Or if we were extracting God from the equation... it's common sense not to put too much faith in human beings period becasue they are flawed and hormonal and pretty much imperfect. Including me.
I told her how frustrating it is to be a Christian in America, and how frustrated I am with not only the church's failures concerning human rights, but also my personal failure to contribute to the solution. I wondered out loud, though, if there was a bigger issue, and I mistakenly made the callous comment that racism might be a minor problem compared to bigger trouble we have to deal with.
"Racism, not an issue?!" she questioned very sternly.
"Well, not that it's not an issue, only that it is a minor issue. :
"How can you say that?" She sat back restlessly in her chair.
"Don, it is an enormous problem."
I was doing a lot of backpedaling at first, but then I began to explain what I meant. "Yeah, I understand it is a terrible and painful problem, but in light of hte whole picture, racism is a signal of something greater. There is a larger problem here than tension between ethnic groups. "
"Unpack that statement," Laura said.
"I'm talking about self-absorption. If you think about it, the human race is pretty self-absorbed. Racism might be the symptom of a greater disease. What I mean is, as a human, I am flawed in that it is difficult for me to consider others before myself. It feels like I have to fight against this force, this current within me that, more often than not, wants to avoid serious issues and please myself, buy things for myself, feed myself, entertain myself, and all of that. All i'm saying is that if we, as a species, could fix our self-absoption, we could end a lot of pain in the world."
Laura didn't say much more that afternoon, but we got together several weeks later, and she hinted she agreed about this probelm of self-absportion. She called it sin.
Sorry if this doesn't make much sense. Just know that, and a dear friend called this to my attention-- God didn't necessarily teach me this, but what i learned today is that when you put too much faith in one person, they can end up really not being the person you thought they were, and so the carpet gets pulled out from under you and you fall and you hit your head when you should've kept your primary faith in God all along. Or if we were extracting God from the equation... it's common sense not to put too much faith in human beings period becasue they are flawed and hormonal and pretty much imperfect. Including me.
I told her how frustrating it is to be a Christian in America, and how frustrated I am with not only the church's failures concerning human rights, but also my personal failure to contribute to the solution. I wondered out loud, though, if there was a bigger issue, and I mistakenly made the callous comment that racism might be a minor problem compared to bigger trouble we have to deal with.
"Racism, not an issue?!" she questioned very sternly.
"Well, not that it's not an issue, only that it is a minor issue. :
"How can you say that?" She sat back restlessly in her chair.
"Don, it is an enormous problem."
I was doing a lot of backpedaling at first, but then I began to explain what I meant. "Yeah, I understand it is a terrible and painful problem, but in light of hte whole picture, racism is a signal of something greater. There is a larger problem here than tension between ethnic groups. "
"Unpack that statement," Laura said.
"I'm talking about self-absorption. If you think about it, the human race is pretty self-absorbed. Racism might be the symptom of a greater disease. What I mean is, as a human, I am flawed in that it is difficult for me to consider others before myself. It feels like I have to fight against this force, this current within me that, more often than not, wants to avoid serious issues and please myself, buy things for myself, feed myself, entertain myself, and all of that. All i'm saying is that if we, as a species, could fix our self-absoption, we could end a lot of pain in the world."
Laura didn't say much more that afternoon, but we got together several weeks later, and she hinted she agreed about this probelm of self-absportion. She called it sin.