Jul 18, 2008 23:41
I've got a serious problem. See, people... people pretty much suck. Now, lest I sound melodramatic or emo, lemme clarify. I have friends, you friends out there, and others and I hope to make more. I like friends, and I like you guys. But beyond that, I'm exhausted.
Emotions... ya know those gooey things that drive you to do otherwise irrational things; The self-induced narcotics that seem at times to govern our very beings... I like them for the most part. They're all interesting as they come and go. But when they start to run too deep it becomes dangerous. You've got to be careful not to let them get that way for somebody who doesn't deserve it. If somebody shitty gets under your skin, it's a long arduous process to extract them. There is, to date, unfortunately no surgery available to pull somebody out of that warm little place in your chest cavity.
Sometimes it takes a long time for somebody to work themselves into you. Months, years, maybe... Those people generally never abuse the network of sinuous threads they've attached to every nerve in your body, why would they? If they intended something of malicious they would've activated the plan long ago. What I'm saying is: they're tried and true. You can feel comfortable with the tendrils they've sown through your soul.
But sometimes people come at you fast. Within a few days and without you're knowledge, you've been infected. Maybe there was something about them that grabbed you, that resonated deeply and inexplicably caused you to put more trust in their coffers than they had rightfully earned. Maybe you felt like you'd known them your whole life, something in the exchanges you'd had just felt familiar. Who knows what it is, but when it's all said and done you're sitting across from someone who in actuality you barely know but who you deeply and irrationally care about. And this is the point I'm getting at, your emotions are bound and gagged. Communication, relationships, they are a war and your soldiers are now interned in a prison you've barely toured. Negotiate with that warm little place in between your lungs all you'd like, it's just empty posturing. There is only one duo powerful enough to bring your boys home: the heroic team of Time and his sidekick Distance.
It sounds easy enough. Time and Distance are plentiful if you're young and irrelevant if you're old. So why when someone hurts us do we return time and time again to reopen those old wounds? Emotions. When you care about somebody it's hard to welcome the heroics of our spandex and cape wearing friends. Because as bad as you feel now or have felt because of this person before, there's good there too. There are the things that made you lower your drawbridge for them in the first place. Time and Time again you'll let them back in, you'll fight to close any Distance between you just hoping things will turn around. After all, anything is possible.
But maybe... it really isn't... and we should all just get over it and face reality.
if you believe in redemption, coming to you from another dimension