Una timidez que es criminal vulgar...
I must admit, as I begin my online tome, that I’m in quite a state. I’m find myself in a bizarre emotional holding pattern. I’m squatting, yes squatting in a sort-of friend’s condo that is for sale. I’m trying to finish a thesis with no available data. (Not my fault, I swear.) And I seem to be entangled in a relationship that’s falling apart spectacularly, akin to a terrifying circus act gone horribly wrong.
And, I must also admit that (whispering from stage left) I don’t think I’m altogether well. See I’m an extraordinarily high functioning bipolar individual. Being in graduate school has allowed me to have a schedule flexible enough to handle the days when I don’t get out of bed, the nights when I don’t sleep, the consequences of pickling my brain, etc. When I come into my department looking like absolute HELL - I have very sensitive skin and what seems to be a vitamin K deficiency, so when I cry even a little I pretty much look like I have two black eyes - people assume it’s because my research isn’t going well. And it’s not, so I have an alibi.
I have a grand plan of getting my emotional ducks (and their wee duckie baggage) in a row during the next few weeks. I’m starting law school in the fall and need to not be a mess. Yes, I know… lose the bad relationship, exercise, actually call my shrink back and drink 39 glasses of water a day. And no, it doesn’t make sense to me either, why this is so much easier said than done.
And, I must also admit that (whispering from stage left) I don’t think I’m altogether well. See I’m an extraordinarily high functioning bipolar individual. Being in graduate school has allowed me to have a schedule flexible enough to handle the days when I don’t get out of bed, the nights when I don’t sleep, the consequences of pickling my brain, etc. When I come into my department looking like absolute HELL - I have very sensitive skin and what seems to be a vitamin K deficiency, so when I cry even a little I pretty much look like I have two black eyes - people assume it’s because my research isn’t going well. And it’s not, so I have an alibi.
I have a grand plan of getting my emotional ducks (and their wee duckie baggage) in a row during the next few weeks. I’m starting law school in the fall and need to not be a mess. Yes, I know… lose the bad relationship, exercise, actually call my shrink back and drink 39 glasses of water a day. And no, it doesn’t make sense to me either, why this is so much easier said than done.