Don't bother none.
Wow. Single again... after just a few weeks shy of 2 years. But what can be done about it? Not much really. Anyone who has been near me or the both of us knew it was coming for a long while, but honestly, it's a relief. It's almost like a dead weight was taken off of my chest and I'm finally able to fill my lungs with the much needed oxygen that I've been deprived of so long.
Don't bother none.
Melancholy- a little. Somber- a tad. Content- very. It's like a wave of peace has enveloped me and I can think clearly. Anxieties have melted away into little glistening puddles of oils, which alone can have it's own beauty when staring into the swirls of color that dance amongst the light but not very far from the surface in fear of the void of light in the center of the mass.
It's been such a long time since I've been able to sit in utter silence and not feel like I want to cry or I get nerve wracked. I can meditate with ease, I can eat healthy with little to no cravings of nasty foods. I've lost 10 pounds again just going about my daily life, working, drawing, laughing even harder with my coworkers and friends. It's pleasant. I like work again. I like my alone time again, I like just sitting around doing nothing and not feeling guilty. I live in Martina's basement. It's now a nice little flat. Got my art hanging on the walls which inspire me to work harder.
I also want to get my bfa in printmaking... or at the very least I'm toiling over it in my mind, turning with each pass to see if I like the taste. Another semester or two at NKU. Perhaps. I don't think I'd be too heartbroken, but I don't want to let my family down. It's been forever since I started college and I keep getting the spanish inquisition over when I'll graduate. Soon enough. I hope. If anything, it will delay my paying off student loans for a while. Add that debt up!
Martina and Julia, whilst sitting around once Gavin was in bed, were talking to me about getting my bfa in printmaking. I expressed my concerns about it; what will I do? I'm not that good. It's just a hobby. Martina pointed out that I'm the happiest in the room grueling over a press or a screen and that I had the techniques down to an art. That I'm the most excited when I come up with a print idea, and that I can execute my ideas coherently. She also pointed out that all of the beginner students (and some of the advanced) turn to me for assistance and help when lost. The fact that Heidi, one of the professors and long time buddy, turned to me to help her learn screen printing (she's a relief printer, so she was rather not very keen on the screen printing idea) proved that I can be an effective teacher. I was stunned and just sipped away at my cosmo grinding the gears in my brain. Could I be? Hell if I know, but now I'm stuck. I want to look into getting my bfa, but I have turned in my graduation papers, done my senior show, and have all my requirements set for graduation.
The good news is if I do decide to go for it, this will give me time to raise my GPA to a level I'm more comfortable with. I'm so close I can touch it with the tiny molecules of my finger, but no more.
SO much to think about...
But that's been what's going on in Ned world. Sorry for the horrifically long delay in posting.
I have so much more to tell, but I need to get some sleep. Going to bed around 4 am consecutively is not really conducive to my sleeping requirements.
Don't bother none.
Melancholy- a little. Somber- a tad. Content- very. It's like a wave of peace has enveloped me and I can think clearly. Anxieties have melted away into little glistening puddles of oils, which alone can have it's own beauty when staring into the swirls of color that dance amongst the light but not very far from the surface in fear of the void of light in the center of the mass.
It's been such a long time since I've been able to sit in utter silence and not feel like I want to cry or I get nerve wracked. I can meditate with ease, I can eat healthy with little to no cravings of nasty foods. I've lost 10 pounds again just going about my daily life, working, drawing, laughing even harder with my coworkers and friends. It's pleasant. I like work again. I like my alone time again, I like just sitting around doing nothing and not feeling guilty. I live in Martina's basement. It's now a nice little flat. Got my art hanging on the walls which inspire me to work harder.
I also want to get my bfa in printmaking... or at the very least I'm toiling over it in my mind, turning with each pass to see if I like the taste. Another semester or two at NKU. Perhaps. I don't think I'd be too heartbroken, but I don't want to let my family down. It's been forever since I started college and I keep getting the spanish inquisition over when I'll graduate. Soon enough. I hope. If anything, it will delay my paying off student loans for a while. Add that debt up!
Martina and Julia, whilst sitting around once Gavin was in bed, were talking to me about getting my bfa in printmaking. I expressed my concerns about it; what will I do? I'm not that good. It's just a hobby. Martina pointed out that I'm the happiest in the room grueling over a press or a screen and that I had the techniques down to an art. That I'm the most excited when I come up with a print idea, and that I can execute my ideas coherently. She also pointed out that all of the beginner students (and some of the advanced) turn to me for assistance and help when lost. The fact that Heidi, one of the professors and long time buddy, turned to me to help her learn screen printing (she's a relief printer, so she was rather not very keen on the screen printing idea) proved that I can be an effective teacher. I was stunned and just sipped away at my cosmo grinding the gears in my brain. Could I be? Hell if I know, but now I'm stuck. I want to look into getting my bfa, but I have turned in my graduation papers, done my senior show, and have all my requirements set for graduation.
The good news is if I do decide to go for it, this will give me time to raise my GPA to a level I'm more comfortable with. I'm so close I can touch it with the tiny molecules of my finger, but no more.
SO much to think about...
But that's been what's going on in Ned world. Sorry for the horrifically long delay in posting.
I have so much more to tell, but I need to get some sleep. Going to bed around 4 am consecutively is not really conducive to my sleeping requirements.