Rose
Title: Rose (inspired by LeeHi - Rose)
Length: Chaptered Fic
Pairing:YunJae
Genre: angst-y, drama, romance, trying to squeeze some humor in it
Rating: PG-15/NC-17 (This Chapter is going to be NC-17)
Warning: abuse, rape, cruel acts towards one single person
A/N: Oh geez.. This is my very first Fic.. have mercy T.T
Btw. I don't really know about the genres and the ratings. I hope I did it well :D
aaand i want to thank asdfghjklhynne for pushing me to already upload it. Thank you honey !
And sorry if you get uncomfortable while reading it but it's an angsty and dramatic Fic. Don't worry though! I'll make sure to put some humor in it later :) And that's a promise !
Let's get this started !
I, Kim JaeJoong, was hurt and defeated by fate and love. I always was a happy and outgoing person, my beauty was often compared to the one of a rose. I was truly happy. I had many people who liked me because of my kind and caring nature.
Still out of all the people I knew there were only a few who I considered as my friends. We were a group of six people and we were always together. We were best friends. We were. At least that was what I thought.
When I was in my third year in High School my parents told me that I was actually adopted. I was only 16 years old that and still very young. Needles to say I was devastated. I locked myself into my room and cried my eyes out for the next few ours until it was late afternoon. I decided that I had to speak with someone, who was not family, about it. I ran off to my friends to get some kind of comfort from them. When I met up with them and told them what happened their reactions were different from what I hoped it would be. They didn't care at all. Instead of comforting me they asked me if I had some money on me so that I could go and buy them food. I slowly realized that ever since I became friends with them all they did was actually asking me first for food before they began to be all nice on me. I always were the only one who bought something even though my friends were better off than me. With eight older sisters it was pretty hard to get through but I still spent my pocket money for them to make them happy.
'How couldn't I realize that they just used me ? How pathetic was I?'
The moment I realized it I ran of to the only person I thought was left to comfort me. My boyfriend. Yes, I am gay and one of my “best friends” is my boyfriend.
We started dating two months ago but kept our relationship a secret from our friends. My family knew it but his didn't. When he confessed to me two months ago I was surprised but accepted his confession since I too liked him. The past two months he was always sweet and caring and told me every chance he got how much he loved me. Yes, he told me that he loved me more than anything and I too told him how much I loved him, but again that day I was to be disappointed by my most loved person. The only one I thought really and sincerely cared for me and loved me. The only person who didn't disappoint me yet.
As I went to the house of my boyfriend I could already see him standing in front of his house and waiting for me. I ran to him and he engulfed me into a tight hug. We went upstairs to his room while I told him everything, sobbing and crying my eyes out to him. I thought he really listened to me because he looked intensely at me and nodded his head once in a while listening to what I had to say without interrupting me. Once inside his room I walked straight towards his bed and sat down on it while he closed the door. I could hear a distant -click- but didn't mind it to much. Why should he lock the door right?
He came to sit on the bed with me and hugged me again tightly. I pressed my face into his chest and cried again while his head was resting on my shoulder, face towards my neck. After a while I could feel his hands suddenly slowly lowering from my waist downwards, I didn't mind it until one of his hands wandered on my behind and grabbed it while the other was caressing my chest.
“What are you doing?”
I asked him with a faint voice, a mere whisper not more, I was too weak to speak because of all the crying I did that day.
I looked him in the eyes and saw something I could faintly recognize. The look he gave me was different than usual.
'What was it? Why is he looking at me like that?' My inner Jae asked himself a little bit scared of the strong look he was giving me.
I tried to figure it out when he suddenly grabbed one of my hands and lowered it on his crotch. He was hard. My eyes widened in fear.
'But why? We didn't do anything...'
I was scared, so scared. We didn't do anything like that yet. Our relationship was still to fresh.
The given situation also didn't make it much more logical as to why he was aroused.
'Did he enjoy seeing me like that? Seeing me in pain? That couldn't be.. now could it? He said he loved me so why would he like seeing me in pain? It couldn't be.' I was still trying to figure it out as his voice brought me back out of my thoughts.
“Joongie-ah... I can't wait anymore...” ,he said looking me up and down before continuing. “I am going to take you now. You look to sexy when you're weak like this.”
He grinned at me before pushing me onto the bed and lifting my shirt up. He didn't take it off but
lifted it up enough to expose my chest. Hungry eyes traveled across my chest while he liked his lips.
I was to shocked to realize what was happening until I felt a wet tongue traveling across my chest.
“Don't do this. Please! I don't want to! I'm not ready for it and I'm not in the mood either!” I pleaded desperately but all he did was to mutter a quiet “I don't care”.
I tried pushing him off of me but without any success. He was to strong. After liking my chest a little bit I could feel him kissing and nibbling on my exposed skin while pushing one of his legs between mine and spreading them.
I started shaking out of fear, tears heavily flowing down my cheeks, whimpering and pleading him to let me go all while I still tried to push him off me.
Suddenly he stopped his actions and lifted himself up of me and looked me in my face. I thought he would finally stop until I looked in his eyes and saw his gaze.
He was angry but still aroused and... amused?
The look he was throwing at me made my blood freeze in an instant. The next thing he did was to slap me and shout at me to “shut the fuck up”. After that he undid my belt and used it to tie my hands above my head to the bed. Still in shock because of the slap I only stared at him and tried to recognize my boyfriend.
'Where did the loving boy went to? Where is the person I fell in love with?'
I couldn't move. It was like my body was shutting itself down. All the while I was staring at him in shock and fear and repeated the same questions over and over again in my head.
'What is happening? Who is he? Why is he doing this to me?'
The sound of my fly opening brought me back to life. I started shouting and wriggling my whole body left and right to get away from him.
He threw my pants together with my boxers off on the floor before undoing his own pants.
I was scared of what would happen next.
I started shouting and heavy, hot tears started falling again. He pressed one hand on my mouth to keep me quiet while his other hand moved into his slightly lowered pants to pull out his dick.
I tried to shake him off, tried to scream and tried to get away but it was to late.
He forced my legs to spread apart before grabbing his dick and placing it at my unprepared entrance.
I looked up at him, eyes big with fear and my vision blurred by my unshed tears.
I shook my head 'no' but the only thing he did was to smirk at me and leaning down next to my ear.
“This is going to hurt a little bit... Joongie.” He breathed my nickname against my ear.
He chuckled and then there was a stinging pain in my lower back. It felt like I was being ripped apart. I could feel him thrusting in me with a force,which I thought would kill me. I was stretched and ripped beyond repair. Loud and pained cries escaping from my throat while he moaned and groaned in pure bliss and lust.
“It feels so good Joongie.. Can you feel the pleasure, too?” He grinned evilly at me while he moved out and slammed back into me. “Oh. Seems like I hurted you too much. You are bleeding a little bit but that's okay. We'll just use it to make it more slippery. Now shall we continue?” He spoke without even having the slightest hint of guilt.
This time he didn't grin. Instead he smiled at me. It was that beautiful smile I knew, that smile which he showed me every time we met up and every time he confessed his love to me.
'What the hell?'
He started moving again at a brutal pace and I started screaming again. My screams, still muffled by his hand, echoed through his room.
After a while I gave up to struggle. I only cried because I simply couldn't take it anymore. The pain my body was feeling was big but not enough to kill me while my heart was gradually starting to die a little bit with every thrust of him. My mind went blank and the world around me got dark. I was falling deep, deep into a black hole I didn't want to get out of anymore.
'Why me?'
~~~~
After a few hours I woke up and wasn't tied to the bed anymore but I was still naked and to my surprise I was alone. My heart started aching as I remembered what happened in this room, on his bed.
I tried sitting up only to feel a back breaking pain in my lower body and something else.
There was the feeling of something dripping out of my hole. I looked down only to see a terrifying sight. There was cum dripping out of me mixed together with blood. His cum was mixed with mine blood.
I was disgusted. Slowly I started to search for anything to wipe my behind clean and then I searched for my clothes. I sobbed and cried again. I was disgusted of everything in this room and especially of me.
Once I was finished I wanted to run out of the house but something in the bedside table caught my eye. It was a letter.
“Hey Joongie <3
How was your rest ? It was pretty good right?
I mean you were out of it so it had to be haha.
Anyways. Thank you for the good fuck !
I had been waiting for months now for us to finally do it. To be honest I didn't know that I had to actually start dating you to get into your pants... But! It was totally worth it!
You were so tight. So much tighter than any girl I slept with...”
'Wait. What? He slept with girls? He was cheating on me? But I thought... he never had a girlfriend...'
My heart started aching more and I felt so use and disgusted. I wanted to kill myself.
“Well since I got what I wanted it's the time to call our “relationship” off. You didn't think that I truly loved you, now did you? Don't be pathetic. I'm sorry but I am not even gay. I only fell for your girlish looks. I never loved you, fag.
Ah. before I forget it.
There should be some underwear of a girl who was here before you came. Could you please throw it out?
Thank you <3
And by the way. If you even dare to say anything to anyone I swear I will turn your life into hell. Even more than it already is.
Your handsome ex-boyfriend”
I didn't know what to do anymore. Not only did my boyfriend rape me, no, he even cheated on me and lied to me about everything.
'Why is this happening to me now?'
I couldn't figure it out.. I felt anger rising in me and ripped the letter into tiny pieces before limping my way out of the house.
I didn't want to go home to my adoptive-parents but I had nowhere to go. I needed my sisters right now even if they were not my biological sisters. I needed to transfer school immediately. I didn't want to see those bastards ever again. Especially not him. I never wanted to see him ever again.
My heart was hurting badly. It felt like it was being ripped apart, just like earlier when he... no. I don't want to think about it.
'I have to go home.'
As I walked home I just hoped that word wouldn't spread in the little town I lived in.
~~~
A/N: Don't hate me !!!!! *hides*
I know my writing is crappy and most things are maybe a littl ebit strangely described .. but ! It is my very first Fic so pleeeaaase have mercy with me T.T
comments are appreciated and if you could write what I should do better next time I would really be happy ^o^
Length: Chaptered Fic
Pairing:YunJae
Genre: angst-y, drama, romance, trying to squeeze some humor in it
Rating: PG-15/NC-17 (This Chapter is going to be NC-17)
Warning: abuse, rape, cruel acts towards one single person
A/N: Oh geez.. This is my very first Fic.. have mercy T.T
Btw. I don't really know about the genres and the ratings. I hope I did it well :D
aaand i want to thank asdfghjklhynne for pushing me to already upload it. Thank you honey !
And sorry if you get uncomfortable while reading it but it's an angsty and dramatic Fic. Don't worry though! I'll make sure to put some humor in it later :) And that's a promise !
Let's get this started !
I, Kim JaeJoong, was hurt and defeated by fate and love. I always was a happy and outgoing person, my beauty was often compared to the one of a rose. I was truly happy. I had many people who liked me because of my kind and caring nature.
Still out of all the people I knew there were only a few who I considered as my friends. We were a group of six people and we were always together. We were best friends. We were. At least that was what I thought.
When I was in my third year in High School my parents told me that I was actually adopted. I was only 16 years old that and still very young. Needles to say I was devastated. I locked myself into my room and cried my eyes out for the next few ours until it was late afternoon. I decided that I had to speak with someone, who was not family, about it. I ran off to my friends to get some kind of comfort from them. When I met up with them and told them what happened their reactions were different from what I hoped it would be. They didn't care at all. Instead of comforting me they asked me if I had some money on me so that I could go and buy them food. I slowly realized that ever since I became friends with them all they did was actually asking me first for food before they began to be all nice on me. I always were the only one who bought something even though my friends were better off than me. With eight older sisters it was pretty hard to get through but I still spent my pocket money for them to make them happy.
'How couldn't I realize that they just used me ? How pathetic was I?'
The moment I realized it I ran of to the only person I thought was left to comfort me. My boyfriend. Yes, I am gay and one of my “best friends” is my boyfriend.
We started dating two months ago but kept our relationship a secret from our friends. My family knew it but his didn't. When he confessed to me two months ago I was surprised but accepted his confession since I too liked him. The past two months he was always sweet and caring and told me every chance he got how much he loved me. Yes, he told me that he loved me more than anything and I too told him how much I loved him, but again that day I was to be disappointed by my most loved person. The only one I thought really and sincerely cared for me and loved me. The only person who didn't disappoint me yet.
As I went to the house of my boyfriend I could already see him standing in front of his house and waiting for me. I ran to him and he engulfed me into a tight hug. We went upstairs to his room while I told him everything, sobbing and crying my eyes out to him. I thought he really listened to me because he looked intensely at me and nodded his head once in a while listening to what I had to say without interrupting me. Once inside his room I walked straight towards his bed and sat down on it while he closed the door. I could hear a distant -click- but didn't mind it to much. Why should he lock the door right?
He came to sit on the bed with me and hugged me again tightly. I pressed my face into his chest and cried again while his head was resting on my shoulder, face towards my neck. After a while I could feel his hands suddenly slowly lowering from my waist downwards, I didn't mind it until one of his hands wandered on my behind and grabbed it while the other was caressing my chest.
“What are you doing?”
I asked him with a faint voice, a mere whisper not more, I was too weak to speak because of all the crying I did that day.
I looked him in the eyes and saw something I could faintly recognize. The look he gave me was different than usual.
'What was it? Why is he looking at me like that?' My inner Jae asked himself a little bit scared of the strong look he was giving me.
I tried to figure it out when he suddenly grabbed one of my hands and lowered it on his crotch. He was hard. My eyes widened in fear.
'But why? We didn't do anything...'
I was scared, so scared. We didn't do anything like that yet. Our relationship was still to fresh.
The given situation also didn't make it much more logical as to why he was aroused.
'Did he enjoy seeing me like that? Seeing me in pain? That couldn't be.. now could it? He said he loved me so why would he like seeing me in pain? It couldn't be.' I was still trying to figure it out as his voice brought me back out of my thoughts.
“Joongie-ah... I can't wait anymore...” ,he said looking me up and down before continuing. “I am going to take you now. You look to sexy when you're weak like this.”
He grinned at me before pushing me onto the bed and lifting my shirt up. He didn't take it off but
lifted it up enough to expose my chest. Hungry eyes traveled across my chest while he liked his lips.
I was to shocked to realize what was happening until I felt a wet tongue traveling across my chest.
“Don't do this. Please! I don't want to! I'm not ready for it and I'm not in the mood either!” I pleaded desperately but all he did was to mutter a quiet “I don't care”.
I tried pushing him off of me but without any success. He was to strong. After liking my chest a little bit I could feel him kissing and nibbling on my exposed skin while pushing one of his legs between mine and spreading them.
I started shaking out of fear, tears heavily flowing down my cheeks, whimpering and pleading him to let me go all while I still tried to push him off me.
Suddenly he stopped his actions and lifted himself up of me and looked me in my face. I thought he would finally stop until I looked in his eyes and saw his gaze.
He was angry but still aroused and... amused?
The look he was throwing at me made my blood freeze in an instant. The next thing he did was to slap me and shout at me to “shut the fuck up”. After that he undid my belt and used it to tie my hands above my head to the bed. Still in shock because of the slap I only stared at him and tried to recognize my boyfriend.
'Where did the loving boy went to? Where is the person I fell in love with?'
I couldn't move. It was like my body was shutting itself down. All the while I was staring at him in shock and fear and repeated the same questions over and over again in my head.
'What is happening? Who is he? Why is he doing this to me?'
The sound of my fly opening brought me back to life. I started shouting and wriggling my whole body left and right to get away from him.
He threw my pants together with my boxers off on the floor before undoing his own pants.
I was scared of what would happen next.
I started shouting and heavy, hot tears started falling again. He pressed one hand on my mouth to keep me quiet while his other hand moved into his slightly lowered pants to pull out his dick.
I tried to shake him off, tried to scream and tried to get away but it was to late.
He forced my legs to spread apart before grabbing his dick and placing it at my unprepared entrance.
I looked up at him, eyes big with fear and my vision blurred by my unshed tears.
I shook my head 'no' but the only thing he did was to smirk at me and leaning down next to my ear.
“This is going to hurt a little bit... Joongie.” He breathed my nickname against my ear.
He chuckled and then there was a stinging pain in my lower back. It felt like I was being ripped apart. I could feel him thrusting in me with a force,which I thought would kill me. I was stretched and ripped beyond repair. Loud and pained cries escaping from my throat while he moaned and groaned in pure bliss and lust.
“It feels so good Joongie.. Can you feel the pleasure, too?” He grinned evilly at me while he moved out and slammed back into me. “Oh. Seems like I hurted you too much. You are bleeding a little bit but that's okay. We'll just use it to make it more slippery. Now shall we continue?” He spoke without even having the slightest hint of guilt.
This time he didn't grin. Instead he smiled at me. It was that beautiful smile I knew, that smile which he showed me every time we met up and every time he confessed his love to me.
'What the hell?'
He started moving again at a brutal pace and I started screaming again. My screams, still muffled by his hand, echoed through his room.
After a while I gave up to struggle. I only cried because I simply couldn't take it anymore. The pain my body was feeling was big but not enough to kill me while my heart was gradually starting to die a little bit with every thrust of him. My mind went blank and the world around me got dark. I was falling deep, deep into a black hole I didn't want to get out of anymore.
'Why me?'
~~~~
After a few hours I woke up and wasn't tied to the bed anymore but I was still naked and to my surprise I was alone. My heart started aching as I remembered what happened in this room, on his bed.
I tried sitting up only to feel a back breaking pain in my lower body and something else.
There was the feeling of something dripping out of my hole. I looked down only to see a terrifying sight. There was cum dripping out of me mixed together with blood. His cum was mixed with mine blood.
I was disgusted. Slowly I started to search for anything to wipe my behind clean and then I searched for my clothes. I sobbed and cried again. I was disgusted of everything in this room and especially of me.
Once I was finished I wanted to run out of the house but something in the bedside table caught my eye. It was a letter.
“Hey Joongie <3
How was your rest ? It was pretty good right?
I mean you were out of it so it had to be haha.
Anyways. Thank you for the good fuck !
I had been waiting for months now for us to finally do it. To be honest I didn't know that I had to actually start dating you to get into your pants... But! It was totally worth it!
You were so tight. So much tighter than any girl I slept with...”
'Wait. What? He slept with girls? He was cheating on me? But I thought... he never had a girlfriend...'
My heart started aching more and I felt so use and disgusted. I wanted to kill myself.
“Well since I got what I wanted it's the time to call our “relationship” off. You didn't think that I truly loved you, now did you? Don't be pathetic. I'm sorry but I am not even gay. I only fell for your girlish looks. I never loved you, fag.
Ah. before I forget it.
There should be some underwear of a girl who was here before you came. Could you please throw it out?
Thank you <3
And by the way. If you even dare to say anything to anyone I swear I will turn your life into hell. Even more than it already is.
Your handsome ex-boyfriend”
I didn't know what to do anymore. Not only did my boyfriend rape me, no, he even cheated on me and lied to me about everything.
'Why is this happening to me now?'
I couldn't figure it out.. I felt anger rising in me and ripped the letter into tiny pieces before limping my way out of the house.
I didn't want to go home to my adoptive-parents but I had nowhere to go. I needed my sisters right now even if they were not my biological sisters. I needed to transfer school immediately. I didn't want to see those bastards ever again. Especially not him. I never wanted to see him ever again.
My heart was hurting badly. It felt like it was being ripped apart, just like earlier when he... no. I don't want to think about it.
'I have to go home.'
As I walked home I just hoped that word wouldn't spread in the little town I lived in.
~~~
A/N: Don't hate me !!!!! *hides*
I know my writing is crappy and most things are maybe a littl ebit strangely described .. but ! It is my very first Fic so pleeeaaase have mercy with me T.T
comments are appreciated and if you could write what I should do better next time I would really be happy ^o^