Best friends?
So, talking to Meredith, I've finally figured out what has had me bummed out lately.
its just like this yr i have lost all of my greatest friends. True, I have made many new ones (Gary, Jaci, etc), but i've lost the ones that meant the most to me in my times of need from before.
Let's just name a few:
Hailee: Hailee and I were BEST friends, up until this year we were inseperable. I helped her thru a million things (at least i think i did?), including her meltdown with chong and that whole situation. And now, look at it... she's found Ashka, and reconnected with Chong, and it's now like i dont exist. Thats at least how i feel. I dont know what to do, i miss her so much. It's like just because we dont have class together, theres no point to being friends. On her myspace, she put how her heroes are ashka, akash, and chong (along with others) and i kept reading and i'm like ouch, i'm not up there. and it's not like its a big deal, it just kinda hurt to think, where did our friendship go? Whenever i think about it, i just cry cuz i know it may never be like it was. I try to hang out with her but she's always really busy, but sometimes i wonder if its just because she doesnt want to hang out with me...? I dont want to make her feel bad by saying anything, but i dont know, its just tough to lose a great friend like her. i get really jealous when i hear about her being best friends with all these other people and i'm not one of them....
Meredith and Megan McGaughey (and they're better halves(lol), John and Matt): Mere, Meg, John, and Matt and I were like attached at the hip before. We used to go to SOOO many shows together, talked online til all hours of the night, all that fun stuff that (best?) friends do. Then, after sophomore year, mere and meg got out of pre-med, and we no longer had any classes together (actually, mere and i had english together, but she never spoke to me other than like once and we all had pre calc together but only meg and i talked a little bit). so then we sorta stopped talking just cuz we never saw eachother, and now mere is best friends with janelle and sommer and danielle, which is awesome i love all of them. but we never hang out anymore. and it sucks big time. and this yr its just like wow i want to hang out with them, but it's like they dont want to or never can. i miss them a lot and i just wanna hang out with them again, hang out like we did before.
it's like i've just become an aquintance with everyone. Sarah Hurley, Ashley M, Erin, Kate,... everyone. Corey's like the only one that i've stayed friends with still. everyone else has just kinda found other people and dont really have time for me anymore. i dont wanna sound like everyone MUST b friends with me, it just sucks cuz to me, i would think that if u r friends with someone, you'd make time for them. in school lately, everyone has made cliques. and i'm not really in any of them. kim emily cassie ashley m and h sarah h and all of them are in their own little clique and its like they dont let anyone in. truth be told, i kinda WANT to b in there. i dont know, i guess thats just how life is.
P.S. I'm reconnecting with Mere now, thank god.... hehe