Arrggg...
I can't even count how many times a day I wonder to myself "Why the fuck did I move to Denver?" Uhg... everything is a constant uphill battle, and it's wearing me out. I'm always tired, and I'm usually asleep more than I'm awake, but not like how it was before I started taking my thyroid medication. It's as if my body is saying "Nope, not going to deal with this shit. Time to shut you down." Kind of like human "stand-by mode".
I'm sick of not knowing very many Denver people, and I am pissed at my Boulder friends for just cutting me out. Christ, I can't tell you how many times I call my Boulder friends, leave multiple messages (3 or 4 in the span of a few weeks) and never hear back from them. Talk about a fair-weather crowd. I'm really fucking dissillusioned about who my real friends are right now. The worst part is, the few friends that do call me back on rare occassion grill me about when I'll be coming down to Boulder to hang out... and none ever offer to come up to see (car-less) me in return. I partied in Boulder many times over the summer... it's Boulder's turn to visit me, IMO.
Erin is going through some family stuff (his business - not my place to blab), and either leans heavily on me, or pulls far away from me. If I weren't so hormonal from starting BC again, I would probably be more sensitive to what he needs, but I'm all over the map emotionally. I've apologized to him for my behavior more times than I'd like to admit. This is not the Jenifer I am. This needs to stop, now.
Sorry for the bitch session, kids. I've been needing to do it for a while. Wish I had some good news to balance it all with, but good news is in short supply right now. Things will get better. I know that. But right now, it just fucking sucks...
Peace.
I'm sick of not knowing very many Denver people, and I am pissed at my Boulder friends for just cutting me out. Christ, I can't tell you how many times I call my Boulder friends, leave multiple messages (3 or 4 in the span of a few weeks) and never hear back from them. Talk about a fair-weather crowd. I'm really fucking dissillusioned about who my real friends are right now. The worst part is, the few friends that do call me back on rare occassion grill me about when I'll be coming down to Boulder to hang out... and none ever offer to come up to see (car-less) me in return. I partied in Boulder many times over the summer... it's Boulder's turn to visit me, IMO.
Erin is going through some family stuff (his business - not my place to blab), and either leans heavily on me, or pulls far away from me. If I weren't so hormonal from starting BC again, I would probably be more sensitive to what he needs, but I'm all over the map emotionally. I've apologized to him for my behavior more times than I'd like to admit. This is not the Jenifer I am. This needs to stop, now.
Sorry for the bitch session, kids. I've been needing to do it for a while. Wish I had some good news to balance it all with, but good news is in short supply right now. Things will get better. I know that. But right now, it just fucking sucks...
Peace.