so very weak...
recovering from an ulcerative colitis flareup isn't as easy as it sounds. the last time i had a flareup like this, it took a whole year before i was completely back to normal. the gut itself may have lost its inflammation and swelling, but the pounding that the body takes during that time is what makes it really difficult.
at this point, there are some days that i can barely stand, let alone walk. my legs are so weak, and there's nothing i can do about it. i've lost 15 pounds, but it's all been muscle; you can actually see how much smaller my legs are. there's nothing there to support me.
i'm also completely exhausted all the time. on saturday, i slept until 9am, went to my mom's birthday party and slept for 2 more hours, went home and fell asleep again at 6pm until the next morning.
i hate being weak like this. i can't even do a load of dishes. i mean, some mornings, like today, i really struggle just to get myself dressed and to work. i guess i'm lucky that i have a desk job. i might look into getting a wheelchair to help me through this, though, because even just walking to check my mailbox can be difficult for me.
i really hope i don't have to miss 2 months of work again, like i had to for the last flareup. i mean, we're already struggling financially. that would not be something we could afford. plus, i need to feel useful, i need to feel like i'm accomplishing something. if i'm just laying around at home, not able to do anything, it doesn't do me much good. yeah, a little vacation is nice, but when the house needs to be cleaned, and i can't do it, it just frustrated me.
at this point, there are some days that i can barely stand, let alone walk. my legs are so weak, and there's nothing i can do about it. i've lost 15 pounds, but it's all been muscle; you can actually see how much smaller my legs are. there's nothing there to support me.
i'm also completely exhausted all the time. on saturday, i slept until 9am, went to my mom's birthday party and slept for 2 more hours, went home and fell asleep again at 6pm until the next morning.
i hate being weak like this. i can't even do a load of dishes. i mean, some mornings, like today, i really struggle just to get myself dressed and to work. i guess i'm lucky that i have a desk job. i might look into getting a wheelchair to help me through this, though, because even just walking to check my mailbox can be difficult for me.
i really hope i don't have to miss 2 months of work again, like i had to for the last flareup. i mean, we're already struggling financially. that would not be something we could afford. plus, i need to feel useful, i need to feel like i'm accomplishing something. if i'm just laying around at home, not able to do anything, it doesn't do me much good. yeah, a little vacation is nice, but when the house needs to be cleaned, and i can't do it, it just frustrated me.