i'm really alive. sort of.
i have returned to the world of the living. i have watched all of the first and second seasons of house, m.d. and it is nice to finally feel human again. i have missed the world.
life is crazy.
stage crew started this week at school. i though that i had adapted back. gotten more accustomed to the feel of textbook pages and notetaking. that doing math and speaking german was where i belonged. and then i went to stage crew, and laid my fingers on that smooth little click-y keypad. and all was right with the world.
^.^
that sounds a little more dramatic than it actually was, but it did feel right to be entering channels and writing cues. i even wrote a couple of chase sequences for fun. it's totally different from camp, but for the first time in a while i felt like i knew how to do something. something kind of special. sure, i'm good at history. bio is fun, english is interesting (and challenging), math isn't that hard yet, and german is...well, german. i don't particularly stand out in any way. i'm not a singer or a painter. i don't play sports. i'm not the biggest actor. i'm not that great at guitar. the lighting board is the only thing that i know how to do that nobody else does. and it's nice. but mostly, it's comforting, to know that there is something that i can do right, and that i can teach to others.
my cousin is getting married next weekend, and i am leaving for california on thursday. it should be fun. i wonder what it'll be like? i still need to get shoes and a cardigan. i need the cardigan to cover up for the ceremony. i have a dress, though. it is pretty. black, but with a little bit of a colored pattern. there are some translucent sequins at the neckline and the hem, and the straps are really cool. i love it. i shall most likely wear it to snowball, if i go.
people are confusing. and sometimes, i have to wonder, why am i friends with certain ones?
life is crazy.
stage crew started this week at school. i though that i had adapted back. gotten more accustomed to the feel of textbook pages and notetaking. that doing math and speaking german was where i belonged. and then i went to stage crew, and laid my fingers on that smooth little click-y keypad. and all was right with the world.
^.^
that sounds a little more dramatic than it actually was, but it did feel right to be entering channels and writing cues. i even wrote a couple of chase sequences for fun. it's totally different from camp, but for the first time in a while i felt like i knew how to do something. something kind of special. sure, i'm good at history. bio is fun, english is interesting (and challenging), math isn't that hard yet, and german is...well, german. i don't particularly stand out in any way. i'm not a singer or a painter. i don't play sports. i'm not the biggest actor. i'm not that great at guitar. the lighting board is the only thing that i know how to do that nobody else does. and it's nice. but mostly, it's comforting, to know that there is something that i can do right, and that i can teach to others.
my cousin is getting married next weekend, and i am leaving for california on thursday. it should be fun. i wonder what it'll be like? i still need to get shoes and a cardigan. i need the cardigan to cover up for the ceremony. i have a dress, though. it is pretty. black, but with a little bit of a colored pattern. there are some translucent sequins at the neckline and the hem, and the straps are really cool. i love it. i shall most likely wear it to snowball, if i go.
people are confusing. and sometimes, i have to wonder, why am i friends with certain ones?