Oh joy, a stalker
Okay, just updated but things have taken an...interesting turn.
So my baby sister just turned 18 about two weeks ago. (I feel this is important because I call her baby sister but she is not, in fact, a baby.) Anyway, she had been seeing this guy from last June when she was sixteen/seventeen up until Easter time this year. So around 9 months. Throughout the whole thing he was incredibly clingy and wanted to be around her all the time and, bless her, that's just not her style. She is the responsible one. She says no, she needs to study. She wants to hang out with her friends or has to work. But this guy was just super clingy. And he didn't have a job or anything so he had sooo much time on his hands to be bored and want to be around.
At the time I kinda felt bad for him. They'd argue about it all the time and though I totally sided with my sister, it's hard not to feel bad for someone so lonely. Then when school started back up again, he had graduated and she was then a senior. And he really did not like her hanging out with her guy friends. One in particular, Gunnar. (To be fair, I don't like Gunnar either, I think he leads my sister on and is in general, not a very nice kid.) But it turned into constant fights about her friends. She wasn't interested in any of them, but he couldn't get over his jealousy.
Eventually they broke up but tried to stay friends. It didn't work. She went to prom with one of her best friends and he was jealous, even though they weren't together anymore. And he'd send her texts all the time. And it was either the "I miss you" variety, or the "why are you ignoring me" variety. Because god forbid she be at work and unable to text. This is where I started to worry.
Now, four or so months after they broke up, she's moved on and gotten herself a new boyfriend, who I like. Nice kid, she's known him since first grade. Well, exbf is not happy. He showed up sometime this morning at her house, threw crumpled up pictures of them in the driveway and left. Sent her a text about it, which woke her up, and first thing she did this morning was look out the windows and scope out the cars around the house. What a lovely way to wake up. He has sent her at least 50 texts today, all saying truly horrible things about what a whore she is and how he hates her. He keeps saying she chose NewBF over him, even though they broke up months ago.
So now I'm really worried and I'm pretty sure this qualifies legally as harassment. But she's 18 now, and so my mother can't call the cops for her, and she doesn't really want to because she's worried he'll do something stupid like hurt himself or someone else. Now I've always said the guy needs help but...what do I do? I wrote him a message on FB telling him to stop and to leave her alone or we'd call the cops. I don't know if he'll take it seriously, and I don't want it to be an empty threat. I'm just really concerned now. This is seriously scary behavior. I don't think he's a violent guy, but then again, I don't really know. I've told her not to respond to anything he says because he's just baiting her. She's struggling with it. All she wants is to tell him to fuck off. But she did tell him to stop contacting her or she'd call the cops. So the thought has been put out there, and I'm fairly sure that once you've expressed you don't want contact, any further contact is harassment.
I'm just really worried and don't really know what to do, and sort of needed to get it off my chest before I go to work. Any advice is welcome, but mostly I guess this was just to vent.
So my baby sister just turned 18 about two weeks ago. (I feel this is important because I call her baby sister but she is not, in fact, a baby.) Anyway, she had been seeing this guy from last June when she was sixteen/seventeen up until Easter time this year. So around 9 months. Throughout the whole thing he was incredibly clingy and wanted to be around her all the time and, bless her, that's just not her style. She is the responsible one. She says no, she needs to study. She wants to hang out with her friends or has to work. But this guy was just super clingy. And he didn't have a job or anything so he had sooo much time on his hands to be bored and want to be around.
At the time I kinda felt bad for him. They'd argue about it all the time and though I totally sided with my sister, it's hard not to feel bad for someone so lonely. Then when school started back up again, he had graduated and she was then a senior. And he really did not like her hanging out with her guy friends. One in particular, Gunnar. (To be fair, I don't like Gunnar either, I think he leads my sister on and is in general, not a very nice kid.) But it turned into constant fights about her friends. She wasn't interested in any of them, but he couldn't get over his jealousy.
Eventually they broke up but tried to stay friends. It didn't work. She went to prom with one of her best friends and he was jealous, even though they weren't together anymore. And he'd send her texts all the time. And it was either the "I miss you" variety, or the "why are you ignoring me" variety. Because god forbid she be at work and unable to text. This is where I started to worry.
Now, four or so months after they broke up, she's moved on and gotten herself a new boyfriend, who I like. Nice kid, she's known him since first grade. Well, exbf is not happy. He showed up sometime this morning at her house, threw crumpled up pictures of them in the driveway and left. Sent her a text about it, which woke her up, and first thing she did this morning was look out the windows and scope out the cars around the house. What a lovely way to wake up. He has sent her at least 50 texts today, all saying truly horrible things about what a whore she is and how he hates her. He keeps saying she chose NewBF over him, even though they broke up months ago.
So now I'm really worried and I'm pretty sure this qualifies legally as harassment. But she's 18 now, and so my mother can't call the cops for her, and she doesn't really want to because she's worried he'll do something stupid like hurt himself or someone else. Now I've always said the guy needs help but...what do I do? I wrote him a message on FB telling him to stop and to leave her alone or we'd call the cops. I don't know if he'll take it seriously, and I don't want it to be an empty threat. I'm just really concerned now. This is seriously scary behavior. I don't think he's a violent guy, but then again, I don't really know. I've told her not to respond to anything he says because he's just baiting her. She's struggling with it. All she wants is to tell him to fuck off. But she did tell him to stop contacting her or she'd call the cops. So the thought has been put out there, and I'm fairly sure that once you've expressed you don't want contact, any further contact is harassment.
I'm just really worried and don't really know what to do, and sort of needed to get it off my chest before I go to work. Any advice is welcome, but mostly I guess this was just to vent.