Fic: No Straight Boy (Bandom, Panic GSF)
Title: No Straight Boy (Does His Hair To Look Like Linda Evangelista Circa 1983)
Pairing(s): Spencer/Brendon, Spencer/Jon, Spencer/Ryan, Panic OT4, hints of Pete/Patrick and Suarez/Gabe.
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~4800
Disclaimer: I don’t own these guys, nor do I own the concept of Glee Clubs nor quotes from the show.
Summary: When Spencer is roped in to helping out the Glee Club, he gets a little more than he bargained for.
A/N: For forwardish, who very generously donated to the help_nz auction. Her prompt was bandom in a Glee-type verse. I hope this is what you wanted bb! I tried to get in as many of the things you asked for as I could and I hope you enjoy it! Many thanks to redandglenda and mintyfiend for their awesome betaing skills. Any remaining mistakes are mine.
“I can’t believe you volunteered me for this!” Spencer complained as he hurried to keep up with his best friend, Ryan.
“And I can’t believe you’re making me late to our first rehearsal!” Ryan countered, upping his pace.
Spencer rolled his eyes and walked faster.
Spencer was busy enough with classes and homework and Jazz Band rehearsals- he didn’t need to add the new Glee Club to his list of activities.
Not that he had much of a choice. Ever since Mr Wentz, Hemingway High’s Guidance Counsellor, had burst into band practice and invited them to play backing music for his brand new Glee Club, the Jazz band hadn’t had a choice. Principal Saporta had thought it was a wonderful idea and had strongly hinted that if the band wanted to keep their nice rehearsal room, they’d have to help out.
Of course, only a couple of them had to be there, but Ryan had made sure Spencer would be the one stuck behind the drums for every rehearsal.
“I need your support!” Ryan insisted as they walked. “This is a big deal for me, Spencer. This could be my big break into stardom.” He flung his arms wide dramatically.
Spencer ducked out of the way of Ryan’s flying limbs and tried to hide his smile. Their whole lives, Ryan had talked about making it big, being a performer on stage somewhere. It made it hard for Spencer to be mad at Ryan- who was he to stand in the way of Ryan’s dreams?
They slipped into the choir room just before Mr Wentz closed the doors. Ryan scurried over to an empty seat with the other singers, while Spencer made his way to the drum kit. It wasn’t as nice as the one he used for Jazz Band, but he could make do.
He raised an eyebrow and gave a wry smile to his fellow band members- Alex Suarez grumpily holding his bass, Ray Toro sitting on a table, swinging his legs back and forth with his guitar lying across his lap, and Victoria Asher sitting at the piano they’d managed to rustle up from somewhere.
No one looked very happy to be there.
It was a different demeanour from the group of smiling, excited Glee Club members on Spencer’s left. He didn’t know most of them, but they all seemed to be waiting eagerly for Mr Wentz to start.
Spencer exchanged a look with his band mates. Losers, he thought, and was sure they were thinking the same. Glee Club would never be cool like Jazz Band was.
“Okay!” Mr Wentz announced. “Let’s get started. You can all call me Pete, by the way.”
There was an awkward silence in the room.
“Or Mr Wentz is fine, I guess,” he continued. “So. I have a friend in Ohio who told me about how well the Glee Clubs at schools there are doing. And I thought, why not try that here, in Chicago? I know we have a lot of talent, and I think we could kick some ass at Sectionals in a couple of months. It’ll really impress Patrick- uh, I mean, your parents. And your peers!”
Mr Wentz coughed, and then plastered on a brighter smile. “Today we’re going to run through a couple of songs, just for fun. But I want you all to be thinking about performing a solo. We didn’t have auditions to get in to the club, but we’ll be having some for who’ll get to sing lead during the competition. I suggest you practice whenever you can.”
After Mr Wentz’s announcement, they ran through some songs and the rest of rehearsal passed pretty quickly- Spencer played when and what he was told, and the Glee Club weren’t actually as bad as he’d expected.
It was almost fun.
What he hadn’t expected was Ryan cornering him after rehearsal and making him stay behind for another hour so he could rehearse a solo.
“I need that lead spot!” Ryan insisted, as he sang Coldplay’s Yellow for the fifth time.
The other members of the Jazz Band, who Spencer had begged to keep him company, didn’t look impressed. Eventually Ryan took the hint and started to pack up.
“We’ll practice some more next week, right?” he asked, a slightly manic look in his eyes, and there wasn’t much they could do but agree.
~~~
News that the Jazz Band members were helping Ryan out after hours travelled fast, and Spencer could barely walk through the halls without Greta Salpeter or Gerard Way stopping him to ask if he’d help them rehearse too. In class, notes from Travis McCoy and Tyson Ritter would appear on his desk, begging for his help.
He was going to complain- to Mr Wentz, to Principal Saporta, to Ryan- because it was getting distracting. And then people started sweetening the deal. Somehow, Spencer, and the rest of the Jazz Band, found it a lot easier to give their time to help the Glee Club if it meant they were getting rides home from school in William Beckett’s fancy convertible (which was pretty sweet, even if he wouldn’t tell anyone why there was a baby seat strapped in the back) or if they didn’t have to stand in the lunch line anymore and could be waited on at their table by eager Glee Club members.
Everybody won. And if Spencer was busier than he’d ever been before, at least he was getting something out of it.
Spencer was at his locker, grabbing his math book. He was running late for class- rehearsal with Bob Morris had taken longer than he’d expected, and he hoped Mr Stump wouldn’t give him detention.
“Hi, Spencer.”
Spencer closed his locker. It was the new kid that Ryan said was weird- Brendon something. They had a few classes together, but they’d never really spoken. He barely made eye contact with anyone in rehearsals and Spencer wasn’t even sure he’d heard the kid sing.
“Hey!” Spencer said. “I’m late for class, so I gotta...”
“I’ll walk with you,” Brendon said, falling into step beside him.
They walked in silence down the almost empty corridor.
“You help people out with rehearsals, right?” Brendon asked.
Spencer glanced over at him. Brendon’s tone was shy but his smile was hopeful.
“Yep,” Spencer said. “I have my free period today, and Thursday after school available. That’s it.”
Brendon nodded. “Thursday would work for me. It’s just...I can’t pay you. I mean, I don’t have anything to offer.”
Spencer stopped walking and stared at Brendon.
“So I guess that’s a no?” Brendon asked and Spencer smiled. There was something about Brendon that made Spencer not want to disappoint him.
“It’s a yes,” Spencer said. “I’m happy to help. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
Brendon looked surprised, but beamed at him, and if Spencer was some kind of corny loser he’d have thought that the smile was payment enough.
Then the bell rang and Spencer waved goodbye, dashing towards his class and making it just in time.
~~~
Ryan was not happy at all about Spencer helping Brendon.
“I don’t trust him,” Ryan complained.
“You don’t know him,” Spencer pointed out. He was lying on Ryan’s bed, watching Ryan try out yet another design of stage makeup. He wasn’t entirely sure Mr Wentz wanted them to audition in costume, but he wasn’t going to be the one to burst Ryan’s bubble. “Besides, have you even heard him sing? Maybe he’s no competition at all.”
Ryan spun around and gestured at Spencer violently with his eyeliner. “I am not worried about competition,” he said, which was obviously a lie. “I’m just...worried you’re spreading yourself too thin. I need your help, Spence.”
“You’ll be fine,” Spencer said, getting up and heading home.
~~~
Spencer showed up at the arranged time, to find Brendon alone in the rehearsal room.
“Where’s everyone else?” he asked Brendon, who was sitting on the piano stool.
“I just asked you,” Brendon explained. “I’m going to accompany myself, on piano. But I need someone to keep the beat for me. If that’s okay.”
Spencer shrugged, taking the sheet music Brendon held out to him. He glanced at it and smirked despite himself, but sat at the drums and counted them in.
Brendon started to play, and Spencer was impressed at his talent, but it was nothing compared to his reaction when Brendon started to sing.
Spencer had been expecting Brendon to have a tiny, shy voice, not for it to be as powerful as it was. It made Spencer lose the beat for a moment.
Brendon glanced over at him and Spencer forced himself to concentrate, not looking up at Brendon until they’d finished the song.
“Wow,” Spencer said.
Brendon looked concerned. “Was it okay?”
Spencer smiled. “I don’t think I’ve heard anyone arrange We R Who We R quite like that before,” he said, and Brendon’s face fell.
“No!” Spencer said quickly, feeling like an idiot. “I liked it! It was different. And, wow, you can really sing.”
Brendon gave Spencer that same brilliant smile he’d given him in the hallway and Spencer grinned back.
“Why don’t you sing more in group rehearsal?” Spencer asked, and Brendon shrugged.
“I’ve never had the chance to sing much, not in public,” he said. “I guess I’m scared of what people will say, so I don’t sing in front of them. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to go through with the audition.”
“You sang in front of me,” Spencer reminded him and Brendon laughed.
“You’re different,” he said simply. “You make me feel at ease.”
Spencer ducked his head, trying to hide his pleased smile. He wasn’t sure what it was about Brendon that made him want to smile all the time. He’d barely noticed the kid before, but now, something was different.
It wasn’t until the end of their practice, after a handful more songs so that Brendon could find the perfect one to audition with, that Spencer figured it all out though.
As they were leaving the rehearsal room, the back of Brendon’s hand brushed against Spencer’s, and Spencer shivered.
And that’s when it hit him. He liked Brendon. Liked him, liked him.
It was a bigger revelation than Spencer was ready for that day. Sure, he’d suspected, but...well. Suspecting was nothing at all like actual realisation that he was totally gay for a guy. For Brendon. Who he hardly knew.
“I’ve got to go,” Spencer said quickly, already dashing down the corridor. “See you tomorrow!”
~~~
“What do you mean, he sounded amazing?” Ryan demanded.
Spencer, who had been staring up at Ryan’s ceiling, sat up and glared at his best friend.
“I’m having a crisis of sexual identity, and all you’re worried about is whether Brendon’s better than you?”
Ryan waved a dismissive hand. “I’ve known you were gay since you were 7, I was just waiting for you to catch on so we- uh, nothing.”
“What?”
“Nothing!” Ryan repeated quickly. “And is he?”
“What?”
“Better than me?”
Spencer narrowed his eyes. “Yes,” he said, even though he knew it would hurt Ryan’s feelings. “Yes, he’s amazing.”
And then he left, ignoring Ryan’s shriek of “Betrayer! Fraternising with the enemy!” behind him.
~~~
Spencer planned to avoid Brendon the next day in class, which was easier said than done. Spencer had never noticed him much before but suddenly he was just there, in his classes, walking through the hallways, standing in the lunch line behind him. Spencer couldn’t escape.
Not that he really wanted to. It was just...well. Realising you were suddenly gay was hard enough to come to terms with. Trying to figure out if the guy who was making you gay liked you back...that could only be awkward and Spencer was putting it off for as long as possible.
Still, he couldn’t help the jolt of excitement as he headed to Glee Club practice after school. Brendon would be there and, maybe today he’d join in singing with the group more.
Spencer slid behind his drum kit, saying hi to Ray and Victoria then turning to look at Alex. Except Alex wasn’t there.
A new guy stood in Alex’s place, holding a bass and looking completely uninterested with everything going on around him.
“Where’s Suarez?” Spencer asked, and Victoria rolled her eyes.
“He has ‘detention’ with Principal Saporta,” she said, using air quotes.
Spencer wrinkled his nose. “Gross.”
“And he couldn’t find Mikey or Cash, so he conned Jon into coming along.”
“Hey man,” Jon said, giving Spencer the smallest of head nods in greeting.
“Are you new to the school?” Spencer asked, and Jon smiled.
“Nah, I’m just not much for school activities, you know? I hang out with my buds under the bleachers, mostly.”
Spencer knew what that meant. He looked Jon over- his scruffy hair, dirty jeans and flip flops and smiled. He liked Jon’s aloofness to the craziness that was going on around them as the Glee Club members argued about what song to work on together that day.
After rehearsal, Spencer waved at Brendon, who grinned at him before hurrying off. Everyone seemed in a rush to start the weekend, but Spencer lagged behind, not in the mood for helping Ryan sew his costume.
“I’ll catch you up,” he said to Ryan, who hung in the doorway waiting, and started fiddling with his cymbals.
It took him a moment to realise he and Jon were the last people left in the room.
“What did you think?” Spencer asked, and Jon shrugged.
“It was okay. Good to be playing again, you know?”
Spencer nodded and they continued packing up in silence. For some reason, Spencer couldn’t help glancing over at Jon again and again, thinking about the way Jon’s shaggy hair dropped into his eyes, or wondering how rough the stubble on his cheeks were.
Jon looked up suddenly, catching Spencer looking and smiled.
“Spencer, right?” Jon asked, and Spencer nodded, swallowing hard as Jon put his bass down and moved towards him. “I might be completely off base here but...do you want to go out some time, maybe? There’s a party tomorrow night and-”
“I can’t!” Spencer blurted, and Jon backed off, looking disappointed.
“Sorry man,” Jon said. “I shouldn’t have assumed...I should have asked whether you were gay first, huh?”
Spencer shook his head. “No, I am! I mean, I think I am. I’m...I’m not sure. I have to babysit my sisters tomorrow, that’s all. Some other time, maybe?”
Jon’s disappointed frown brightened a little and he moved closer again.
“I’ll hold you to that,” he said, leaning in.
Spencer’s heart pounded loudly in his chest as Jon moved closer, hand cupping Spencer’s cheek.
Jon smelled like cigarettes and something sweeter, but Spencer didn’t mind. He met Jon’s mouth with his own.
It was a brief kiss, and then Jon pulled away.
“Because you weren’t sure,” he explained. “Thought it might help.”
And then he was gone.
Spencer glanced around to make sure no one could see him, then gingerly touched his mouth and sighed in happy confusion.
~~~
“You did what?” Ryan asked, looking aghast.
Spencer nodded, then put his head in his hands. “I’m so confused, Ry. Two days ago I didn’t even know I liked boys. And now I’ve kissed one and I feel guilty for it because of Brendon and...” He trailed off, looking at Ryan who had gone very quiet.
“Don’t worry,” Spencer said. “I’m sure Jon isn’t competing with you in the audition too.”
Ryan glared at Spencer then moved over to sit beside him on the bed. “You really think that’s all I care about?”
Spencer shrugged. “I’m kinda freaking out here, Ryan. And you’re not saying anything.”
Ryan licked his lips slowly, then frowned. “I guess...I just didn’t expect any of this. I mean...crushing on Brendon was one thing but now you’re kissing that Jon guy and...I always thought I’d be your first kiss.”
Spencer stared at him, wide eyed.
“What?”
Ryan looked away. “Like I said yesterday, I always knew you were gay, Spence. I was just waiting for you to realise and then to figure out I was too.”
Spencer frowned. “You’ve had tonnes of girlfriends,” he pointed out.
Ryan made a dismissive noise. “Sexuality is fluid,” he said. “I just...I didn’t expect anyone else to get there before me.”
And then, before Spencer could react, Ryan leaned in and kissed him.
It was different than Jon’s kiss. Ryan tasted different- more familiar, maybe, and Spencer could smell makeup remover and tailor’s chalk. It felt different too- not as soft as Jon’s kiss, and more demanding.
And it just confused things even more.
Spencer broke the kiss, turning his head and getting up.
“Spence-”
“Don’t,” Spencer said. “I’ve got to go...”
“I’m sorry,” Ryan said, sounding like he meant it.
Spencer hesitated by the door, then turned to look at his friend. “I just need some time to think,” he said, and then left.
~~~
Spencer spent most of Saturday in his room, doing homework and moping about. Ryan called and left a dozen messages that Spencer didn’t check.
It was all just too confusing. Nothing had ever awakened feelings in him like spending time with Brendon had, but then there was Jon, so laid back and easy going with a hint of rebellion, enough that Spencer had let him be his first kiss. And then, just to confuse things more, Ryan, his best friend for as long as he could remember, secretly harbouring feelings for him for longer than Spencer wanted to think about.
This hadn’t been what Spencer had signed up for. He was there to sit and play his drums and keep the beat and that was it. Not for romance and confusion and risking hurting his best friend’s feelings.
On Sunday, when Brendon sent him a text to ask for an extra rehearsal that day, Spencer agreed, more to get out of the house and away from his thoughts than anything else. Part of him hoped that when he saw Brendon he’d realised he’d made a mistake, that he wasn’t gay at all and that the whole situation would sort itself out.
But when he walked into the auditorium and saw Brendon bent over the piano, playing softly, he could feel butterflies in his stomach.
“Hi!” Brendon said brightly, but his smile faded at Spencer’s half hearted reply.
“Is something wrong?” Brendon asked.
Spencer shook his head but Brendon walked over to him, touching his arm.
The touch made Spencer shiver. He opened his mouth, meaning to come up with an excuse, but instead the whole story started to tumble out.
Brendon guided them to the edge of the stage and they sat, feet swinging, as Spencer explained his dilemma. He was careful not to name anyone, just in case. It wasn’t like him to trust someone he hardly knew, but it felt good to talk about it.
After he’d finished, Brendon was frowning.
“I don’t know if I have any advice for you,” he admitted. “But do they know how you feel? How confused you are? The boy you kissed and your best friend- you said they knew you were unsure about things, but what about the first guy? Maybe you should tell him too. It might help.”
Spencer laughed a little. “I just did,” he said, trying not to sound as confused and miserable as he felt, and Brendon’s eyes widened.
“Um, me?” he squeaked, and Spencer shrugged then nodded, looking away.
“Oh,” Brendon said, and went quiet.
Spencer sighed and glanced over at him. Brendon didn’t look very happy. Spencer was pretty sure that Brendon was going to jump up and leave, or maybe punch him or something, which would make Spencer’s problems easier but would also make it really hard to keep Brendon as his friend.
But instead Brendon gave Spencer an apologetic smile and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t think this is going to help you decide what to do,” and then kissed him.
Brendon’s kiss was different too. It was a little less practiced, a little more eager, and it made Spencer smile. Brendon tasted like Skittles and chapstick and Spencer kissed back, just for a moment.
“I can’t,” he said, pulling away, and Brendon nodded.
“I know,” he said. “I just wanted to do that at least once. You’ll choose your best friend, of course, or the bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks. That’s the way it always goes in movies. But I’d still like to be your friend.”
He squeezed Spencer’s hand, and Spencer squeezed back.
~~~
The following week was busy, and yet awkward. Spencer tried his best to avoid Ryan, Jon and Brendon, hoping the distance would make things clearer in his head. How he’d gone from a presumably straight boy with no prospects of love to a gay guy with three kisses from three different boys under his belt, he didn’t know.
The week was frantic with rehearsals- the audition for the sought after solo would be happening on Friday, so everyone was practising as much as they could. Spencer kept things as professional as possible with the others, trying to focus on music and not on how each of them made him feel.
Friday rolled around quicker than he’d expected, and he was set up on stage with the full Jazz Band ensemble, waiting for the auditions to begin. He could see Jon sitting in the auditorium, separate from the Glee Club members, but he tried to keep his attention from wandering.
“Okay!” Mr Wentz announced. “We have a lot of auditions to see tonight. We’re lucky enough to have a guest judge today- Patrick!”
“Mr Stump,” Mr Stump corrected. He didn’t look all that enthused to be there, but Spencer remembered that was how he’d felt, back in the beginning of all of this craziness. He was almost excited to find out who would win, even though he was very carefully not rooting for either Ryan or Brendon.
“If we’re all ready,” Mr Wentz carried on quickly, “you’ll be auditioning one by one, and at the end we will make a decision as to who will be performing the solo at Sectionals.”
Gerard raised his hand. “Which schools are we competing against at Sectionals?” he asked.
Mr Wentz shrugged. “I have no idea.”
“Isn’t it listed on the confirmation letter?” William asked and Mr Wentz frowned.
“What confirmation letter?”
Beside him, Mr Stump put his head in his hands. “Pete,” he said. “tell me you actually registered the school for the competition.”
Mr Wentz looked horrified. “You mean you have to register? I thought it just happened automatically! I’ve got to make a call.”
He rushed from the auditorium, hastily punching numbers into his phone.
Everyone waited in uncomfortable silence.
After a few minutes Mr Wentz emerged, looking sheepish.
“So,” he said. “Uh...it turns out we did need to register. And that the competition is now closed to new contestants so we’ll have to wait until next year.”
A collective groan went up around the room.
“You mean we did all that practice for nothing?” Victoria demanded and Mr Wentz scratched the back of his head, giving an apologetic shrug.
“I don’t know what to say, guys,” he said, inching away from the glares of the Glee Club. “Patrick, help, I think they’re going to lynch me.”
It certainly seemed that way from where Spencer was sitting. And despite everything, he liked Mr Wentz, even if his mistake had cost Spencer two weeks of free time and a sexuality crisis.
“Hey!” he called out, seeing some of the Glee Club members start to stand up. “I think it’s better this way. You were all going to audition for one solo spot. Without Sectionals, you can all have your solo. Right now. I mean, you put in all the rehearsal time, so you might as well perform, right?”
“It’ll be fun!” Brendon agreed, and Spencer smiled at him.
Ryan caught the look between them and stood up. “Great idea, Spence. I’ll go first!”
~~~
“Ryan?” Spencer called, stepping into the empty auditorium. The lights were on, but he couldn’t see anyone.
It was Saturday. Mr Wentz had escaped unscathed from the botched audition the previous day, and everyone had enjoyed having their own time to perform. The Glee Club had even decided to stay together, despite the lack of Sectionals in their future.
Spencer had left as soon as the performances were over. He knew everyone was staying around as an impromptu party, but he needed to clear his head and get away.
And then he’d gotten a text from Ryan, begging him to meet in the auditorium in the morning. Spencer felt guilty enough about avoiding him so much over the past week that he’d agreed to show.
But now it looked like Ryan wasn’t there.
He sat and waited, picking out notes on the piano until he heard footsteps approaching.
Three sets of footsteps.
He looked up to see Ryan, Jon and Brendon standing together, a few feet away.
“Uh, hey?” Spencer said, stuffing his hands in his pockets and standing up. “What’re you guys-”
“We need to talk to you,” Brendon said. “All of us.”
Spencer waited warily.
“We got talking last night,” Jon said. “These guys filled me in on what was up with you. Makes a lot more sense now.”
“Sorry,” Spencer said, only just realising that Jon had no way of knowing the full reason Spencer had been avoiding him, but Jon waved the apology away.
“We don’t want to make you choose between us,” Brendon spoke up. “If you want to choose any of us at all. I mean, it’s hard, figuring yourself out, without worrying about someone else too.”
Spencer frowned. Was this the moment where they’d all tell him they didn’t want him? He wasn’t ready to choose, didn’t know if he even could, but that didn’t mean he’d never be able to make the decision.
“So we thought we’d make it easy for you,” Jon said. He grabbed Brendon, turning him around and kissing him softly.
Spencer’s mouth dropped open. He hadn’t expected this. That was why he’d been brought there, to see that two of the guys he liked had moved on and gotten together? He knew he’d been a jerk, ignoring them, but this was cruel. He felt sick and his heart started to ache.
Brendon stumbled a little when Jon released him, bumping into Ryan who reached out and steadied him.
“Uh,” Spencer said, trying not to sound angry. “I don’t know what to say to that. I...hope you guys are very happy together?”
Brendon and Jon looked at each other, confused.
Ryan, who hadn’t said a word up until now, rolled his eyes. “He thinks you two are together, you idiots,” he explained and Jon and Brendon both looked at Spencer and shook their heads emphatically.
“No, we’re not!” Brendon said. “At least...not exactly.”
“I don’t understand,” Spencer told them, even more confused than he had been before. He was beginning to wish he’d never come.
Ryan sighed. “Last night we started talking about you. And how we’d rather share you than lose you. And...well. It’s not like there isn’t any attraction between the three of us either. So we have a solution- we give this a try.”
He gestured around the room, encompassing all four of them.
Spencer’s brow crinkled. “You want us all to date each other?”
Brendon nodded. “It makes sense, right? I can understand why you like these guys. Jon is cute!”
Jon grinned and punched Brendon lightly in the shoulder. Ryan cleared his throat indignantly.
“And you too!” Brendon added, throwing his arms around Ryan. Spencer could see the fake annoyed expression on Ryan’s face, and it made him smile.
“This is really what you want?” Spencer asked. Brendon and Jon nodded, but it was Ryan he was watching carefully.
“Despite what you might think, I’m perfectly capable of sharing, Spencer,” Ryan snapped, then his tone softened. “Even if that means sharing you.”
Spencer bit his lip and watched them all carefully, thinking. It was a bizarre situation, and definitely not a solution he’d considered over the past week.
Slowly, he started to nod. “Okay,” he said. “But what if it doesn’t work out? This has got to be a complicated thing to do, right?”
Jon shrugged. “Then at least we tried,” he said, and Spencer took two slightly nervous steps towards the other guys, and found himself wrapped in a tight hug.
Pairing(s): Spencer/Brendon, Spencer/Jon, Spencer/Ryan, Panic OT4, hints of Pete/Patrick and Suarez/Gabe.
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~4800
Disclaimer: I don’t own these guys, nor do I own the concept of Glee Clubs nor quotes from the show.
Summary: When Spencer is roped in to helping out the Glee Club, he gets a little more than he bargained for.
A/N: For forwardish, who very generously donated to the help_nz auction. Her prompt was bandom in a Glee-type verse. I hope this is what you wanted bb! I tried to get in as many of the things you asked for as I could and I hope you enjoy it! Many thanks to redandglenda and mintyfiend for their awesome betaing skills. Any remaining mistakes are mine.
“I can’t believe you volunteered me for this!” Spencer complained as he hurried to keep up with his best friend, Ryan.
“And I can’t believe you’re making me late to our first rehearsal!” Ryan countered, upping his pace.
Spencer rolled his eyes and walked faster.
Spencer was busy enough with classes and homework and Jazz Band rehearsals- he didn’t need to add the new Glee Club to his list of activities.
Not that he had much of a choice. Ever since Mr Wentz, Hemingway High’s Guidance Counsellor, had burst into band practice and invited them to play backing music for his brand new Glee Club, the Jazz band hadn’t had a choice. Principal Saporta had thought it was a wonderful idea and had strongly hinted that if the band wanted to keep their nice rehearsal room, they’d have to help out.
Of course, only a couple of them had to be there, but Ryan had made sure Spencer would be the one stuck behind the drums for every rehearsal.
“I need your support!” Ryan insisted as they walked. “This is a big deal for me, Spencer. This could be my big break into stardom.” He flung his arms wide dramatically.
Spencer ducked out of the way of Ryan’s flying limbs and tried to hide his smile. Their whole lives, Ryan had talked about making it big, being a performer on stage somewhere. It made it hard for Spencer to be mad at Ryan- who was he to stand in the way of Ryan’s dreams?
They slipped into the choir room just before Mr Wentz closed the doors. Ryan scurried over to an empty seat with the other singers, while Spencer made his way to the drum kit. It wasn’t as nice as the one he used for Jazz Band, but he could make do.
He raised an eyebrow and gave a wry smile to his fellow band members- Alex Suarez grumpily holding his bass, Ray Toro sitting on a table, swinging his legs back and forth with his guitar lying across his lap, and Victoria Asher sitting at the piano they’d managed to rustle up from somewhere.
No one looked very happy to be there.
It was a different demeanour from the group of smiling, excited Glee Club members on Spencer’s left. He didn’t know most of them, but they all seemed to be waiting eagerly for Mr Wentz to start.
Spencer exchanged a look with his band mates. Losers, he thought, and was sure they were thinking the same. Glee Club would never be cool like Jazz Band was.
“Okay!” Mr Wentz announced. “Let’s get started. You can all call me Pete, by the way.”
There was an awkward silence in the room.
“Or Mr Wentz is fine, I guess,” he continued. “So. I have a friend in Ohio who told me about how well the Glee Clubs at schools there are doing. And I thought, why not try that here, in Chicago? I know we have a lot of talent, and I think we could kick some ass at Sectionals in a couple of months. It’ll really impress Patrick- uh, I mean, your parents. And your peers!”
Mr Wentz coughed, and then plastered on a brighter smile. “Today we’re going to run through a couple of songs, just for fun. But I want you all to be thinking about performing a solo. We didn’t have auditions to get in to the club, but we’ll be having some for who’ll get to sing lead during the competition. I suggest you practice whenever you can.”
After Mr Wentz’s announcement, they ran through some songs and the rest of rehearsal passed pretty quickly- Spencer played when and what he was told, and the Glee Club weren’t actually as bad as he’d expected.
It was almost fun.
What he hadn’t expected was Ryan cornering him after rehearsal and making him stay behind for another hour so he could rehearse a solo.
“I need that lead spot!” Ryan insisted, as he sang Coldplay’s Yellow for the fifth time.
The other members of the Jazz Band, who Spencer had begged to keep him company, didn’t look impressed. Eventually Ryan took the hint and started to pack up.
“We’ll practice some more next week, right?” he asked, a slightly manic look in his eyes, and there wasn’t much they could do but agree.
~~~
News that the Jazz Band members were helping Ryan out after hours travelled fast, and Spencer could barely walk through the halls without Greta Salpeter or Gerard Way stopping him to ask if he’d help them rehearse too. In class, notes from Travis McCoy and Tyson Ritter would appear on his desk, begging for his help.
He was going to complain- to Mr Wentz, to Principal Saporta, to Ryan- because it was getting distracting. And then people started sweetening the deal. Somehow, Spencer, and the rest of the Jazz Band, found it a lot easier to give their time to help the Glee Club if it meant they were getting rides home from school in William Beckett’s fancy convertible (which was pretty sweet, even if he wouldn’t tell anyone why there was a baby seat strapped in the back) or if they didn’t have to stand in the lunch line anymore and could be waited on at their table by eager Glee Club members.
Everybody won. And if Spencer was busier than he’d ever been before, at least he was getting something out of it.
Spencer was at his locker, grabbing his math book. He was running late for class- rehearsal with Bob Morris had taken longer than he’d expected, and he hoped Mr Stump wouldn’t give him detention.
“Hi, Spencer.”
Spencer closed his locker. It was the new kid that Ryan said was weird- Brendon something. They had a few classes together, but they’d never really spoken. He barely made eye contact with anyone in rehearsals and Spencer wasn’t even sure he’d heard the kid sing.
“Hey!” Spencer said. “I’m late for class, so I gotta...”
“I’ll walk with you,” Brendon said, falling into step beside him.
They walked in silence down the almost empty corridor.
“You help people out with rehearsals, right?” Brendon asked.
Spencer glanced over at him. Brendon’s tone was shy but his smile was hopeful.
“Yep,” Spencer said. “I have my free period today, and Thursday after school available. That’s it.”
Brendon nodded. “Thursday would work for me. It’s just...I can’t pay you. I mean, I don’t have anything to offer.”
Spencer stopped walking and stared at Brendon.
“So I guess that’s a no?” Brendon asked and Spencer smiled. There was something about Brendon that made Spencer not want to disappoint him.
“It’s a yes,” Spencer said. “I’m happy to help. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
Brendon looked surprised, but beamed at him, and if Spencer was some kind of corny loser he’d have thought that the smile was payment enough.
Then the bell rang and Spencer waved goodbye, dashing towards his class and making it just in time.
~~~
Ryan was not happy at all about Spencer helping Brendon.
“I don’t trust him,” Ryan complained.
“You don’t know him,” Spencer pointed out. He was lying on Ryan’s bed, watching Ryan try out yet another design of stage makeup. He wasn’t entirely sure Mr Wentz wanted them to audition in costume, but he wasn’t going to be the one to burst Ryan’s bubble. “Besides, have you even heard him sing? Maybe he’s no competition at all.”
Ryan spun around and gestured at Spencer violently with his eyeliner. “I am not worried about competition,” he said, which was obviously a lie. “I’m just...worried you’re spreading yourself too thin. I need your help, Spence.”
“You’ll be fine,” Spencer said, getting up and heading home.
~~~
Spencer showed up at the arranged time, to find Brendon alone in the rehearsal room.
“Where’s everyone else?” he asked Brendon, who was sitting on the piano stool.
“I just asked you,” Brendon explained. “I’m going to accompany myself, on piano. But I need someone to keep the beat for me. If that’s okay.”
Spencer shrugged, taking the sheet music Brendon held out to him. He glanced at it and smirked despite himself, but sat at the drums and counted them in.
Brendon started to play, and Spencer was impressed at his talent, but it was nothing compared to his reaction when Brendon started to sing.
Spencer had been expecting Brendon to have a tiny, shy voice, not for it to be as powerful as it was. It made Spencer lose the beat for a moment.
Brendon glanced over at him and Spencer forced himself to concentrate, not looking up at Brendon until they’d finished the song.
“Wow,” Spencer said.
Brendon looked concerned. “Was it okay?”
Spencer smiled. “I don’t think I’ve heard anyone arrange We R Who We R quite like that before,” he said, and Brendon’s face fell.
“No!” Spencer said quickly, feeling like an idiot. “I liked it! It was different. And, wow, you can really sing.”
Brendon gave Spencer that same brilliant smile he’d given him in the hallway and Spencer grinned back.
“Why don’t you sing more in group rehearsal?” Spencer asked, and Brendon shrugged.
“I’ve never had the chance to sing much, not in public,” he said. “I guess I’m scared of what people will say, so I don’t sing in front of them. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to go through with the audition.”
“You sang in front of me,” Spencer reminded him and Brendon laughed.
“You’re different,” he said simply. “You make me feel at ease.”
Spencer ducked his head, trying to hide his pleased smile. He wasn’t sure what it was about Brendon that made him want to smile all the time. He’d barely noticed the kid before, but now, something was different.
It wasn’t until the end of their practice, after a handful more songs so that Brendon could find the perfect one to audition with, that Spencer figured it all out though.
As they were leaving the rehearsal room, the back of Brendon’s hand brushed against Spencer’s, and Spencer shivered.
And that’s when it hit him. He liked Brendon. Liked him, liked him.
It was a bigger revelation than Spencer was ready for that day. Sure, he’d suspected, but...well. Suspecting was nothing at all like actual realisation that he was totally gay for a guy. For Brendon. Who he hardly knew.
“I’ve got to go,” Spencer said quickly, already dashing down the corridor. “See you tomorrow!”
~~~
“What do you mean, he sounded amazing?” Ryan demanded.
Spencer, who had been staring up at Ryan’s ceiling, sat up and glared at his best friend.
“I’m having a crisis of sexual identity, and all you’re worried about is whether Brendon’s better than you?”
Ryan waved a dismissive hand. “I’ve known you were gay since you were 7, I was just waiting for you to catch on so we- uh, nothing.”
“What?”
“Nothing!” Ryan repeated quickly. “And is he?”
“What?”
“Better than me?”
Spencer narrowed his eyes. “Yes,” he said, even though he knew it would hurt Ryan’s feelings. “Yes, he’s amazing.”
And then he left, ignoring Ryan’s shriek of “Betrayer! Fraternising with the enemy!” behind him.
~~~
Spencer planned to avoid Brendon the next day in class, which was easier said than done. Spencer had never noticed him much before but suddenly he was just there, in his classes, walking through the hallways, standing in the lunch line behind him. Spencer couldn’t escape.
Not that he really wanted to. It was just...well. Realising you were suddenly gay was hard enough to come to terms with. Trying to figure out if the guy who was making you gay liked you back...that could only be awkward and Spencer was putting it off for as long as possible.
Still, he couldn’t help the jolt of excitement as he headed to Glee Club practice after school. Brendon would be there and, maybe today he’d join in singing with the group more.
Spencer slid behind his drum kit, saying hi to Ray and Victoria then turning to look at Alex. Except Alex wasn’t there.
A new guy stood in Alex’s place, holding a bass and looking completely uninterested with everything going on around him.
“Where’s Suarez?” Spencer asked, and Victoria rolled her eyes.
“He has ‘detention’ with Principal Saporta,” she said, using air quotes.
Spencer wrinkled his nose. “Gross.”
“And he couldn’t find Mikey or Cash, so he conned Jon into coming along.”
“Hey man,” Jon said, giving Spencer the smallest of head nods in greeting.
“Are you new to the school?” Spencer asked, and Jon smiled.
“Nah, I’m just not much for school activities, you know? I hang out with my buds under the bleachers, mostly.”
Spencer knew what that meant. He looked Jon over- his scruffy hair, dirty jeans and flip flops and smiled. He liked Jon’s aloofness to the craziness that was going on around them as the Glee Club members argued about what song to work on together that day.
After rehearsal, Spencer waved at Brendon, who grinned at him before hurrying off. Everyone seemed in a rush to start the weekend, but Spencer lagged behind, not in the mood for helping Ryan sew his costume.
“I’ll catch you up,” he said to Ryan, who hung in the doorway waiting, and started fiddling with his cymbals.
It took him a moment to realise he and Jon were the last people left in the room.
“What did you think?” Spencer asked, and Jon shrugged.
“It was okay. Good to be playing again, you know?”
Spencer nodded and they continued packing up in silence. For some reason, Spencer couldn’t help glancing over at Jon again and again, thinking about the way Jon’s shaggy hair dropped into his eyes, or wondering how rough the stubble on his cheeks were.
Jon looked up suddenly, catching Spencer looking and smiled.
“Spencer, right?” Jon asked, and Spencer nodded, swallowing hard as Jon put his bass down and moved towards him. “I might be completely off base here but...do you want to go out some time, maybe? There’s a party tomorrow night and-”
“I can’t!” Spencer blurted, and Jon backed off, looking disappointed.
“Sorry man,” Jon said. “I shouldn’t have assumed...I should have asked whether you were gay first, huh?”
Spencer shook his head. “No, I am! I mean, I think I am. I’m...I’m not sure. I have to babysit my sisters tomorrow, that’s all. Some other time, maybe?”
Jon’s disappointed frown brightened a little and he moved closer again.
“I’ll hold you to that,” he said, leaning in.
Spencer’s heart pounded loudly in his chest as Jon moved closer, hand cupping Spencer’s cheek.
Jon smelled like cigarettes and something sweeter, but Spencer didn’t mind. He met Jon’s mouth with his own.
It was a brief kiss, and then Jon pulled away.
“Because you weren’t sure,” he explained. “Thought it might help.”
And then he was gone.
Spencer glanced around to make sure no one could see him, then gingerly touched his mouth and sighed in happy confusion.
~~~
“You did what?” Ryan asked, looking aghast.
Spencer nodded, then put his head in his hands. “I’m so confused, Ry. Two days ago I didn’t even know I liked boys. And now I’ve kissed one and I feel guilty for it because of Brendon and...” He trailed off, looking at Ryan who had gone very quiet.
“Don’t worry,” Spencer said. “I’m sure Jon isn’t competing with you in the audition too.”
Ryan glared at Spencer then moved over to sit beside him on the bed. “You really think that’s all I care about?”
Spencer shrugged. “I’m kinda freaking out here, Ryan. And you’re not saying anything.”
Ryan licked his lips slowly, then frowned. “I guess...I just didn’t expect any of this. I mean...crushing on Brendon was one thing but now you’re kissing that Jon guy and...I always thought I’d be your first kiss.”
Spencer stared at him, wide eyed.
“What?”
Ryan looked away. “Like I said yesterday, I always knew you were gay, Spence. I was just waiting for you to realise and then to figure out I was too.”
Spencer frowned. “You’ve had tonnes of girlfriends,” he pointed out.
Ryan made a dismissive noise. “Sexuality is fluid,” he said. “I just...I didn’t expect anyone else to get there before me.”
And then, before Spencer could react, Ryan leaned in and kissed him.
It was different than Jon’s kiss. Ryan tasted different- more familiar, maybe, and Spencer could smell makeup remover and tailor’s chalk. It felt different too- not as soft as Jon’s kiss, and more demanding.
And it just confused things even more.
Spencer broke the kiss, turning his head and getting up.
“Spence-”
“Don’t,” Spencer said. “I’ve got to go...”
“I’m sorry,” Ryan said, sounding like he meant it.
Spencer hesitated by the door, then turned to look at his friend. “I just need some time to think,” he said, and then left.
~~~
Spencer spent most of Saturday in his room, doing homework and moping about. Ryan called and left a dozen messages that Spencer didn’t check.
It was all just too confusing. Nothing had ever awakened feelings in him like spending time with Brendon had, but then there was Jon, so laid back and easy going with a hint of rebellion, enough that Spencer had let him be his first kiss. And then, just to confuse things more, Ryan, his best friend for as long as he could remember, secretly harbouring feelings for him for longer than Spencer wanted to think about.
This hadn’t been what Spencer had signed up for. He was there to sit and play his drums and keep the beat and that was it. Not for romance and confusion and risking hurting his best friend’s feelings.
On Sunday, when Brendon sent him a text to ask for an extra rehearsal that day, Spencer agreed, more to get out of the house and away from his thoughts than anything else. Part of him hoped that when he saw Brendon he’d realised he’d made a mistake, that he wasn’t gay at all and that the whole situation would sort itself out.
But when he walked into the auditorium and saw Brendon bent over the piano, playing softly, he could feel butterflies in his stomach.
“Hi!” Brendon said brightly, but his smile faded at Spencer’s half hearted reply.
“Is something wrong?” Brendon asked.
Spencer shook his head but Brendon walked over to him, touching his arm.
The touch made Spencer shiver. He opened his mouth, meaning to come up with an excuse, but instead the whole story started to tumble out.
Brendon guided them to the edge of the stage and they sat, feet swinging, as Spencer explained his dilemma. He was careful not to name anyone, just in case. It wasn’t like him to trust someone he hardly knew, but it felt good to talk about it.
After he’d finished, Brendon was frowning.
“I don’t know if I have any advice for you,” he admitted. “But do they know how you feel? How confused you are? The boy you kissed and your best friend- you said they knew you were unsure about things, but what about the first guy? Maybe you should tell him too. It might help.”
Spencer laughed a little. “I just did,” he said, trying not to sound as confused and miserable as he felt, and Brendon’s eyes widened.
“Um, me?” he squeaked, and Spencer shrugged then nodded, looking away.
“Oh,” Brendon said, and went quiet.
Spencer sighed and glanced over at him. Brendon didn’t look very happy. Spencer was pretty sure that Brendon was going to jump up and leave, or maybe punch him or something, which would make Spencer’s problems easier but would also make it really hard to keep Brendon as his friend.
But instead Brendon gave Spencer an apologetic smile and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t think this is going to help you decide what to do,” and then kissed him.
Brendon’s kiss was different too. It was a little less practiced, a little more eager, and it made Spencer smile. Brendon tasted like Skittles and chapstick and Spencer kissed back, just for a moment.
“I can’t,” he said, pulling away, and Brendon nodded.
“I know,” he said. “I just wanted to do that at least once. You’ll choose your best friend, of course, or the bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks. That’s the way it always goes in movies. But I’d still like to be your friend.”
He squeezed Spencer’s hand, and Spencer squeezed back.
~~~
The following week was busy, and yet awkward. Spencer tried his best to avoid Ryan, Jon and Brendon, hoping the distance would make things clearer in his head. How he’d gone from a presumably straight boy with no prospects of love to a gay guy with three kisses from three different boys under his belt, he didn’t know.
The week was frantic with rehearsals- the audition for the sought after solo would be happening on Friday, so everyone was practising as much as they could. Spencer kept things as professional as possible with the others, trying to focus on music and not on how each of them made him feel.
Friday rolled around quicker than he’d expected, and he was set up on stage with the full Jazz Band ensemble, waiting for the auditions to begin. He could see Jon sitting in the auditorium, separate from the Glee Club members, but he tried to keep his attention from wandering.
“Okay!” Mr Wentz announced. “We have a lot of auditions to see tonight. We’re lucky enough to have a guest judge today- Patrick!”
“Mr Stump,” Mr Stump corrected. He didn’t look all that enthused to be there, but Spencer remembered that was how he’d felt, back in the beginning of all of this craziness. He was almost excited to find out who would win, even though he was very carefully not rooting for either Ryan or Brendon.
“If we’re all ready,” Mr Wentz carried on quickly, “you’ll be auditioning one by one, and at the end we will make a decision as to who will be performing the solo at Sectionals.”
Gerard raised his hand. “Which schools are we competing against at Sectionals?” he asked.
Mr Wentz shrugged. “I have no idea.”
“Isn’t it listed on the confirmation letter?” William asked and Mr Wentz frowned.
“What confirmation letter?”
Beside him, Mr Stump put his head in his hands. “Pete,” he said. “tell me you actually registered the school for the competition.”
Mr Wentz looked horrified. “You mean you have to register? I thought it just happened automatically! I’ve got to make a call.”
He rushed from the auditorium, hastily punching numbers into his phone.
Everyone waited in uncomfortable silence.
After a few minutes Mr Wentz emerged, looking sheepish.
“So,” he said. “Uh...it turns out we did need to register. And that the competition is now closed to new contestants so we’ll have to wait until next year.”
A collective groan went up around the room.
“You mean we did all that practice for nothing?” Victoria demanded and Mr Wentz scratched the back of his head, giving an apologetic shrug.
“I don’t know what to say, guys,” he said, inching away from the glares of the Glee Club. “Patrick, help, I think they’re going to lynch me.”
It certainly seemed that way from where Spencer was sitting. And despite everything, he liked Mr Wentz, even if his mistake had cost Spencer two weeks of free time and a sexuality crisis.
“Hey!” he called out, seeing some of the Glee Club members start to stand up. “I think it’s better this way. You were all going to audition for one solo spot. Without Sectionals, you can all have your solo. Right now. I mean, you put in all the rehearsal time, so you might as well perform, right?”
“It’ll be fun!” Brendon agreed, and Spencer smiled at him.
Ryan caught the look between them and stood up. “Great idea, Spence. I’ll go first!”
~~~
“Ryan?” Spencer called, stepping into the empty auditorium. The lights were on, but he couldn’t see anyone.
It was Saturday. Mr Wentz had escaped unscathed from the botched audition the previous day, and everyone had enjoyed having their own time to perform. The Glee Club had even decided to stay together, despite the lack of Sectionals in their future.
Spencer had left as soon as the performances were over. He knew everyone was staying around as an impromptu party, but he needed to clear his head and get away.
And then he’d gotten a text from Ryan, begging him to meet in the auditorium in the morning. Spencer felt guilty enough about avoiding him so much over the past week that he’d agreed to show.
But now it looked like Ryan wasn’t there.
He sat and waited, picking out notes on the piano until he heard footsteps approaching.
Three sets of footsteps.
He looked up to see Ryan, Jon and Brendon standing together, a few feet away.
“Uh, hey?” Spencer said, stuffing his hands in his pockets and standing up. “What’re you guys-”
“We need to talk to you,” Brendon said. “All of us.”
Spencer waited warily.
“We got talking last night,” Jon said. “These guys filled me in on what was up with you. Makes a lot more sense now.”
“Sorry,” Spencer said, only just realising that Jon had no way of knowing the full reason Spencer had been avoiding him, but Jon waved the apology away.
“We don’t want to make you choose between us,” Brendon spoke up. “If you want to choose any of us at all. I mean, it’s hard, figuring yourself out, without worrying about someone else too.”
Spencer frowned. Was this the moment where they’d all tell him they didn’t want him? He wasn’t ready to choose, didn’t know if he even could, but that didn’t mean he’d never be able to make the decision.
“So we thought we’d make it easy for you,” Jon said. He grabbed Brendon, turning him around and kissing him softly.
Spencer’s mouth dropped open. He hadn’t expected this. That was why he’d been brought there, to see that two of the guys he liked had moved on and gotten together? He knew he’d been a jerk, ignoring them, but this was cruel. He felt sick and his heart started to ache.
Brendon stumbled a little when Jon released him, bumping into Ryan who reached out and steadied him.
“Uh,” Spencer said, trying not to sound angry. “I don’t know what to say to that. I...hope you guys are very happy together?”
Brendon and Jon looked at each other, confused.
Ryan, who hadn’t said a word up until now, rolled his eyes. “He thinks you two are together, you idiots,” he explained and Jon and Brendon both looked at Spencer and shook their heads emphatically.
“No, we’re not!” Brendon said. “At least...not exactly.”
“I don’t understand,” Spencer told them, even more confused than he had been before. He was beginning to wish he’d never come.
Ryan sighed. “Last night we started talking about you. And how we’d rather share you than lose you. And...well. It’s not like there isn’t any attraction between the three of us either. So we have a solution- we give this a try.”
He gestured around the room, encompassing all four of them.
Spencer’s brow crinkled. “You want us all to date each other?”
Brendon nodded. “It makes sense, right? I can understand why you like these guys. Jon is cute!”
Jon grinned and punched Brendon lightly in the shoulder. Ryan cleared his throat indignantly.
“And you too!” Brendon added, throwing his arms around Ryan. Spencer could see the fake annoyed expression on Ryan’s face, and it made him smile.
“This is really what you want?” Spencer asked. Brendon and Jon nodded, but it was Ryan he was watching carefully.
“Despite what you might think, I’m perfectly capable of sharing, Spencer,” Ryan snapped, then his tone softened. “Even if that means sharing you.”
Spencer bit his lip and watched them all carefully, thinking. It was a bizarre situation, and definitely not a solution he’d considered over the past week.
Slowly, he started to nod. “Okay,” he said. “But what if it doesn’t work out? This has got to be a complicated thing to do, right?”
Jon shrugged. “Then at least we tried,” he said, and Spencer took two slightly nervous steps towards the other guys, and found himself wrapped in a tight hug.