Fic: Some Day My Prince Will Come (SGA, McShep)
Title: Some Day My Prince Will Come/He's Behind You (I mentioned I can't name things, right? Just call me Ford. Better title idea? Let me know)
Fandom/Pairing: SGA. John/Rodney
Rating: PG13 for maybe swearing? I can’t remember.
Disclaimer: Neither SGA or the characters belong to me. Neither does Snow White, which probably belongs to Disney or something similar. Alas.
Summary: Rodney agrees to help out with Carson’s play to impress Katie, but meets the infuriating Sheppard, who is playing Prince Charming and seems to enjoy making Rodney mad.
A/N: Xmas fic for firedragon9. I hope you like it hon! It was only supposed to be a drabblet, but 3000 words later and here it is! God, I’ve missed writing SGA! Unbetaed, I'm afraid.
“A play,” Rodney repeated, rolling the word around in his mouth and spitting it out as if deciding it tasted bad. “A play.”
“Yes,” Katie said. “Don’t you think it’d be fantastic? Think of how much fun we’d have! It’s all Carson’s idea, of course- I’m pretty sure he’s told you about it already. I’m helping with the scenery.”
Rodney folded his arms across his chest and tried to look less suspicious than he felt. Carson had not told him about it. Or maybe he had, but Rodney had far more important things to do than listen to Carson babble. “And…?” he asked.
“And,” Katie said, giving him an imploring smile. “They need someone to be the prompter.”
Rodney rolled his eyes, ready to snap that he had far, far better things to do with his time than hang around the Drama Soc people, but Katie was beautiful and sweet and seemed to like him. And he liked her- or at least what he knew about her, which was pretty much a first when it came to other people so he wasn’t about to jeopardise the beginnings of whatever it was they had. Katie was two years younger than Rodney, a freshman, and he was almost positive that if he got in now and claimed her as his own before she really got to meet any of the other guys on campus, they’d be set. So-
“Oh alright then,” he said, which was how he found himself sitting in a theatre with a bunch of people he could only describe as weirdo arty types. One of them was even wearing a beret.
“This is Rodney,” Carson, who had the dubious honour of being Rodney’s longsuffering roommate, announced. “He’ll be in the wings, ready to prompt anyone who forgets their lines. Politely,” Carson added, giving Rodney a pointed look that Rodney waved away with his copy of the script, ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’ emblazoned across the front.
The first rehearsal was terrible. Rodney was forced to correct almost all of the cast, until Carson pulled him aside and pointed out that small errors or omissions were alright, and that, even if ungrammatical, the script was to be stuck to at all costs.
The second rehearsal was even worse. But by the third it was better. And by the fourth, Rodney’s services were hardly needed at all.
For the fifth rehearsal Rodney brought a physics paper he’d been meaning to read with him, hoping to get the chance to read it while the actors fumbled around on stage, since most of them had surpassed Rodney’s expectations and had managed to achieve something trained chimps were taught to do in half the time.
He settled himself down with his red pen, ready to mark any mistakes he found so he could write to the journal and criticise both the authors and the editors, but Carson was hissing his name.
Rodney looked up, finding the cast staring at him expectantly. Prince Charming had, apparently, forgotten his line, and Rodney flipped open the script and read it to him in the most condescending tone he could manage, ignoring the smirk Charming threw in his direction. For the rest of the rehearsal, whenever Rodney picked up the paper again, Charming would forget his lines.
For the next two weeks- 4 rehearsals a week- Prince Charming- or, Sheppard, as Rodney had found out he was called continued to forget his lines whenever Rodney brought something with which to occupy himself. Naturally, whenever Rodney had nothing to do but read the script and watch the play, Sheppard’s performance was flawless.
Rodney suspected Sheppard was trying to piss him off. And he was succeeding.
“What is your problem?” he cornered Sheppard in the wings, the night before the dress rehearsal.
Sheppard blinked at him, a slow smirk spreading across his face. He cocked a hip and leant against the wall, folding his arms across his chest. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he replied, infuriatingly calm.
“You do to,” Rodney exclaimed, poking him in the chest. “I don’t understand why you get your- your jollies, from trying to piss me off, but well done, you succeeded, can you grow up now and leave me alone?”
Sheppard tipped his head to the side, but his ridiculous hair stayed in its obviously over-styled position. “Maybe,” he drawled, “you should be paying more attention to your job, and not spending it doing your homework. Maybe then I wouldn’t mess my lines up.”
Rodney spluttered. “I don’t have homework,” he glared at Sheppard. “I’m doing my PhD, I’ll have you know, and I don’t have homework like you arty, beatnik, layabout arts undergrads.”
Sheppard laughed. “I know you’re a grad student, McKay,” he said. “You’ve told anyone who’ll listen a thousand times, and I don’t care. When you’re here, you’ve got a job to do, and it’s shitty not to do it properly. This might not be important to you, but it is to the rest of us.”
“Trying to impress a girl, Sheppard?” Rodney sneered, and Sheppard shook his head, a strange look on his face.
“Not all of us are here to impress girls,” he said with a pointed look, before turning on his heel. Rodney scowled after him, and then Sheppard paused, turning around to add, “Oh, and I’m not one of those ‘arty, beatnik, layabout arts undergrads’ either, although there’s nothing wrong with being an Arts student. I’m studying for my Masters. In Math.” Then he sauntered off.
Rodney’s jaw dropped a little. He glared at Sheppard’s retreating back, then stalked off, fuming, and went to find Katie. As he walked her home, she asked him what was wrong.
”Sheppard!” Rodney ranted, flailing his hands he spoke. “He’s so…infuriating. I don’t get him. Why does he have to be such a jerk? What have I ever done to him? I just want to wipe that smirk off his face and- what?” he stopped. Katie was giving him a strange look.
“Nothing,” she said, shaking her head, but there was a funny look in her eyes. She reached out and took one of Rodney’s flailing hands. “Walk me to my door?”
Rodney stumbled a little, righting himself and grasping Katie’s hand firmly as they headed into her building. She’d never asked him to walk her to the door before, and Rodney was sure this meant something- something good. They paused outside her door, and she smiled up at him.
“I’m so glad you agreed to help with the show, Rodney,” she said, looking up at him with wide eyes. “I love spending time with you.”
Before Rodney could reply she stood on tiptoes and pressed her lips to his. He kissed her back for a moment, then pulled away, frowning. “I love spending time with you too,” he said, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning in for another kiss. “I’d like it better if Sheppard didn’t have to be there all the time too,” he added, and Katie’s arms slowly unwound from his neck.
“Me too,” she said, slowly, frowning.
Rodney nodded, glad she agreed with him. Sheppard was clearly not someone people wanted to be around. He cursed Carson’s lack of judgement in casting him as Prince Charming, especially since Sheppard obviously wasn’t charming in the slightest.
“Rodney,” Katie said suddenly, eyes blazing a little. “Would you like to come in?” she said, a strange emphasis in her voice that Rodney didn’t quite understand.
“Oh,” Rodney said, stopping to think for a second. “I shouldn’t. I have a lot of work to do, and since Sheppard bitches if I try to do any at rehearsal, I really should get it done tonight. My life would be so much easier without Sheppard in it.”
Katie sighed loudly. “Goodnight, Rodney,” she said, slipping inside before Rodney could reply.
~~~
Dress rehearsal went as smoothly as these things can, and Rodney sat attentively throughout, scowling when he caught Sheppard giving him an approving look. Although, Sheppard’s occasional looks in his direction were a lot friendlier than the ones Katie was shooting him from the wings. He wasn’t sure how he’d upset her- it wasn’t unusual for him to upset girls he was interested in, to be fair, but how was he supposed to fix it if she didn’t tell him?
After rehearsal Carson sent them all home to bed, telling them to get rested up for opening night the next day. Katie was one of the first out the door, so Rodney took his time gathering his stuff. By the time he’d finished, only a handful of people were left- including, he noticed, Sheppard, talking to Chaya, a tall exotic looking girl who played the wicked queen. She was smiling at something Sheppard said, one hand resting on his arm as she tipped back her head to laugh. Rodney scowled, thinking she was an idiot to be taken in by Sheppard’s false charm. As he left, Sheppard glanced up and saw him, smirking a little, with a one sided shrug, before turning his attention back to Chaya.
Back in his dorm, Rodney found Carson fretting, insisting that something was not right, that something would go wrong.
It must have been catching, because Rodney went to sleep feeling uneasy.
~~~
And awoke to Carson freaking out, shouting into his telephone and making high pitched noises.
“ELIZABETH IS IN HOSPITAL,” Carson shrieked when he noticed Rodney was awake.
“Oh my god,” Rodney said, sitting up. “Is she okay?” He liked Elizabeth, even if she was a politics major and tended to boss him around a little.
“What?” Carson said, stopping in his pacing back and forth across their room to give Rodney a strange look. “Oh, yes, yes, I think so. It’s nothing serious but that’s not the issue. It means we now do not have a Snow White! I’ve declared an emergency- we’re all meeting at the theatre in half an hour.”
Rodney shook his head. “I have to go to the lab,” he said, then saw the manic expression on Carson’s face and shut up. “I mean, yes, of course, let’s go.”
~~~
Carson, it seemed, wasn’t the only one freaking out. They got to the theatre early, and people were already there, conversing in small groups, looking stressed. One girl was in tears.
”I don’t know what we’re going to do,” Carson said, putting his head in his hands, shoulders shaking a little. Rodney wondered if he should try and comfort him, but then Laura was there. Rodney didn’t particularly like Laura, but Carson did, and appeared to enjoy her presence which meant Rodney was forced to endure her as best he could.
“It’s going to be fine,” she said, and Rodney grudgingly admired her calmness. “We just need to find a replacement.”
“Don’t you have understudies?” Rodney asked, and Carson gave him a miserable look.
“We…there weren’t enough people, and we thought…well, we thought wrong,” Carson finished, shoulders slumping.
“Well, can’t someone else do it anyway?” Rodney asked, glancing at his watch. He’d had an idea for an experiment that would blow several theories out of the water, and if he started now, he might get a decent amount of it done before the show that night.
Carson shook his head and looked at Laura, who was looking pensive.
“The problem is,” she said slowly. “is that we need someone who knows all of Snow White’s lines. Every single one.” She exchanged a look with Carson, who sat up straight suddenly and looked over in Rodney’s direction.
”What?” Rodney asked, suspiciously.
“McKay,” Laura said suddenly. “Can you sing?”
“No.”
“Yes he can,” Carson said. “I’ve heard him in the shower. He’s got a really nice voice. Sometimes,” he added, treacherously, “he sings songs from the show when he thinks I can’t hear him.”
“I do not,” Rodney lied, ignoring the titter of laughter that circled the room.
“It could work,” Laura said, looking Rodney up and down. Carson was nodding slowly.
Rodney suddenly caught on. He jumped out of his chair and held his hands up defensively.
“Oh no,” he said. “No. I can’t.”
“You know all the words,” Carson said.
“Yes, but-“
“You know the songs, and you can sing them-“
“Yes, but that doesn’t-“
“Rodney.”
Rodney frowned. “In case none of you have noticed, I’m a man. I can’t play Snow White.”
“Then it’ll be Pantomime,” Carson shrugged, as if Rodney’s gender was unimportant.
“I’m pretty sure I won’t fit into Elizabeth’s costume,” Rodney tried, glaring in Sheppard’s direction when he snorted.
“That’s no problem,” Teyla, who was the seamstress and costume mistress. “We’ve got enough time before the show for me to run something up. It won’t be perfect, but it’ll do for tonight, and then I can fix it up for tomorrow.”
“I can’t-“
“Please,” Carson said.
“No, but-“
“Rodney,” Katie and Laura said together, pleading.
“But I-“
“He’ll do it,” Sheppard said. “McKay. You have to.”
Rodney felt his resolve falter.
“Fine,” he said. “FINE. But you should all know I’m not happy.”
Behind him, someone whispered something to someone else.
“I swear to god, if one of you is making a seven dwarves joke, I am walking out of here so fast.”
The whispering stopped. Carson hugged Rodney. Sheppard clapped him on the shoulder, leaving a warm feeling that stuck with Rodney all through his dress fitting with Teyla.
~~~
Rodney fidgeted behind the curtain.
“Calm down,” Sheppard said, coming up behind him. “And stop playing with your wig.”
“It’s itchy,” Rodney complained. “And the bow is at a funny angle.”
Sheppard grinned and adjusted Rodney’s bow. “There,” he said. “You look very pretty.”
Rodney gave him a rude hand gesture, then caught sight of Katie off in the wings. He waved, and she smiled, giving him an almost fond look, before disappearing out front to take her seat.
When the noise of people filing into the theatre started to die down, Carson slipped out between the gap in the curtain, to introduce the play.
“…there has also been a slight adjustment to the cast list you are all holding. Tonight, Snow White will be played by Meredith McKay…”
“Meredith?” Sheppard mouthed at Rodney, shoulders shaking with silent laughter.
Rodney gave him a haughty look and went to take his position. Then the curtains lifted and- well, it wasn’t as bad as he’d expected. His voice shook a little on the songs and he had a near fatal incident involving a fake tree, but other than that it was fine. It was…even sort of fun. Rodney pondered this for a while as he lay on his back, asleep, poisoned by the wicked Chaya’s apple. And then, with a sense of dread, as Sheppard appeared on stage and launched into his solo, Rodney realised what was about to happen.
“Perhaps,” Sheppard said loudly, “her true love’s kiss will wake her?” Then he leant in and pressed his lips briefly to Rodney’s.
The script stated that Snow White was to stir, was to open her eyes and stretch her arms and let the Prince take her in his arms. But Rodney couldn’t move.
Sheppard had just kissed him.
“Let’s try that again,” Sheppard said, and then his lips were on Rodney’s again, a little longer this time.
Rodney didn’t move. Sheppard’s. Lips. On. His. His brain could hardly compute it. It was…well, it wasn’t bad at all. In fact, if Rodney was honest to himself, he kind of liked it.
A ripple of laughter from the audience surrounded him as Sheppard announced “Well, third time’s the charm!” and kissed him again. This time there was more pressure, his lips were more insistent, and before Rodney could even think properly, he was opening his mouth, kissing Sheppard back, hard and a little bit desperately. Rodney could hear the audience cheering and wolf whistling, and then Sheppard pulled back, and Rodney sat up, dramatically gaping at Sheppard, who gave him a wink, before taking his hand and pulling him to his feet.
The rest of the show was a blur, nothing but words and music and movement and Sheppard and applause, and then someone was handing Rodney a bunch of flowers, and Carson was hugging him tightly.
“I’m going to Laura’s tonight,” Carson said. “If you want to have company in the room tonight.”
Rodney stared after him in confusion, but then Katie was there in front of him, pulling him into a hug.
”Congratulations, Rodney,” she said, letting him go and hurrying out of the theatre with some others. Rodney watched her go, expecting to feel a pang of loss, but there was nothing, so he headed to the dressing room to take off his makeup.
Sheppard was still in there, grinning as Rodney pulled off the wig with a content sigh.
“That is so much better,” he said, staring at himself in the mirror and making a face.
“Mirror, mirror, on the wall,” Sheppard said, getting up and moving closer to Rodney. “Who’s the fairest of them all?”
Rodney rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes, you’re a handsome one. I know. You’re a good kisser too,” he added, then clamped his mouth shut.
Sheppard laughed. “Thank you,” he said. “But I wasn’t talking about myself,” he raised an eyebrow at Rodney, who stared at him.
“Oh,” Rodney said. “Um? Is that why you’ve been such a jerk to me?”
“I wasn’t a jerk,” Sheppard said, looking offended. “I was trying to flirt with you.”
“Wow,” Rodney wiped his face clean. “I never thought I’d meet someone worse at flirting than me.”
Sheppard pouted a little. “God, Rodney,” he said. “You sure make it hard for a guy to tell you he likes you.”
Rodney looked up at him in surprise. “You do? I mean, really?”
Sheppard nodded.
“Oh,” Rodney said. “Um. Well. In that case, Sheppard, what do you say you help me get this dress off, then we head back to my place?”
Sheppard chuckled. “I bet you say that to all the boys,” he said, stepping forward to undo Rodney’s bodice. “And it’s John,” he added.
“John,” Rodney repeated, stripping the dress off and hanging it up carefully, not wanting to incur the wrath of Teyla, who could probably kill him with her pinkie finger. He pulled on his street clothes and nodded at the door.
“Shall we?” he asked, and John nodded, reaching out and pulling the door open.
”After you, my lady,” he said gallantly, darting forward to press a kiss to a startled Rodney’s lips before he could say anything.
Fandom/Pairing: SGA. John/Rodney
Rating: PG13 for maybe swearing? I can’t remember.
Disclaimer: Neither SGA or the characters belong to me. Neither does Snow White, which probably belongs to Disney or something similar. Alas.
Summary: Rodney agrees to help out with Carson’s play to impress Katie, but meets the infuriating Sheppard, who is playing Prince Charming and seems to enjoy making Rodney mad.
A/N: Xmas fic for firedragon9. I hope you like it hon! It was only supposed to be a drabblet, but 3000 words later and here it is! God, I’ve missed writing SGA! Unbetaed, I'm afraid.
“A play,” Rodney repeated, rolling the word around in his mouth and spitting it out as if deciding it tasted bad. “A play.”
“Yes,” Katie said. “Don’t you think it’d be fantastic? Think of how much fun we’d have! It’s all Carson’s idea, of course- I’m pretty sure he’s told you about it already. I’m helping with the scenery.”
Rodney folded his arms across his chest and tried to look less suspicious than he felt. Carson had not told him about it. Or maybe he had, but Rodney had far more important things to do than listen to Carson babble. “And…?” he asked.
“And,” Katie said, giving him an imploring smile. “They need someone to be the prompter.”
Rodney rolled his eyes, ready to snap that he had far, far better things to do with his time than hang around the Drama Soc people, but Katie was beautiful and sweet and seemed to like him. And he liked her- or at least what he knew about her, which was pretty much a first when it came to other people so he wasn’t about to jeopardise the beginnings of whatever it was they had. Katie was two years younger than Rodney, a freshman, and he was almost positive that if he got in now and claimed her as his own before she really got to meet any of the other guys on campus, they’d be set. So-
“Oh alright then,” he said, which was how he found himself sitting in a theatre with a bunch of people he could only describe as weirdo arty types. One of them was even wearing a beret.
“This is Rodney,” Carson, who had the dubious honour of being Rodney’s longsuffering roommate, announced. “He’ll be in the wings, ready to prompt anyone who forgets their lines. Politely,” Carson added, giving Rodney a pointed look that Rodney waved away with his copy of the script, ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’ emblazoned across the front.
The first rehearsal was terrible. Rodney was forced to correct almost all of the cast, until Carson pulled him aside and pointed out that small errors or omissions were alright, and that, even if ungrammatical, the script was to be stuck to at all costs.
The second rehearsal was even worse. But by the third it was better. And by the fourth, Rodney’s services were hardly needed at all.
For the fifth rehearsal Rodney brought a physics paper he’d been meaning to read with him, hoping to get the chance to read it while the actors fumbled around on stage, since most of them had surpassed Rodney’s expectations and had managed to achieve something trained chimps were taught to do in half the time.
He settled himself down with his red pen, ready to mark any mistakes he found so he could write to the journal and criticise both the authors and the editors, but Carson was hissing his name.
Rodney looked up, finding the cast staring at him expectantly. Prince Charming had, apparently, forgotten his line, and Rodney flipped open the script and read it to him in the most condescending tone he could manage, ignoring the smirk Charming threw in his direction. For the rest of the rehearsal, whenever Rodney picked up the paper again, Charming would forget his lines.
For the next two weeks- 4 rehearsals a week- Prince Charming- or, Sheppard, as Rodney had found out he was called continued to forget his lines whenever Rodney brought something with which to occupy himself. Naturally, whenever Rodney had nothing to do but read the script and watch the play, Sheppard’s performance was flawless.
Rodney suspected Sheppard was trying to piss him off. And he was succeeding.
“What is your problem?” he cornered Sheppard in the wings, the night before the dress rehearsal.
Sheppard blinked at him, a slow smirk spreading across his face. He cocked a hip and leant against the wall, folding his arms across his chest. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he replied, infuriatingly calm.
“You do to,” Rodney exclaimed, poking him in the chest. “I don’t understand why you get your- your jollies, from trying to piss me off, but well done, you succeeded, can you grow up now and leave me alone?”
Sheppard tipped his head to the side, but his ridiculous hair stayed in its obviously over-styled position. “Maybe,” he drawled, “you should be paying more attention to your job, and not spending it doing your homework. Maybe then I wouldn’t mess my lines up.”
Rodney spluttered. “I don’t have homework,” he glared at Sheppard. “I’m doing my PhD, I’ll have you know, and I don’t have homework like you arty, beatnik, layabout arts undergrads.”
Sheppard laughed. “I know you’re a grad student, McKay,” he said. “You’ve told anyone who’ll listen a thousand times, and I don’t care. When you’re here, you’ve got a job to do, and it’s shitty not to do it properly. This might not be important to you, but it is to the rest of us.”
“Trying to impress a girl, Sheppard?” Rodney sneered, and Sheppard shook his head, a strange look on his face.
“Not all of us are here to impress girls,” he said with a pointed look, before turning on his heel. Rodney scowled after him, and then Sheppard paused, turning around to add, “Oh, and I’m not one of those ‘arty, beatnik, layabout arts undergrads’ either, although there’s nothing wrong with being an Arts student. I’m studying for my Masters. In Math.” Then he sauntered off.
Rodney’s jaw dropped a little. He glared at Sheppard’s retreating back, then stalked off, fuming, and went to find Katie. As he walked her home, she asked him what was wrong.
”Sheppard!” Rodney ranted, flailing his hands he spoke. “He’s so…infuriating. I don’t get him. Why does he have to be such a jerk? What have I ever done to him? I just want to wipe that smirk off his face and- what?” he stopped. Katie was giving him a strange look.
“Nothing,” she said, shaking her head, but there was a funny look in her eyes. She reached out and took one of Rodney’s flailing hands. “Walk me to my door?”
Rodney stumbled a little, righting himself and grasping Katie’s hand firmly as they headed into her building. She’d never asked him to walk her to the door before, and Rodney was sure this meant something- something good. They paused outside her door, and she smiled up at him.
“I’m so glad you agreed to help with the show, Rodney,” she said, looking up at him with wide eyes. “I love spending time with you.”
Before Rodney could reply she stood on tiptoes and pressed her lips to his. He kissed her back for a moment, then pulled away, frowning. “I love spending time with you too,” he said, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning in for another kiss. “I’d like it better if Sheppard didn’t have to be there all the time too,” he added, and Katie’s arms slowly unwound from his neck.
“Me too,” she said, slowly, frowning.
Rodney nodded, glad she agreed with him. Sheppard was clearly not someone people wanted to be around. He cursed Carson’s lack of judgement in casting him as Prince Charming, especially since Sheppard obviously wasn’t charming in the slightest.
“Rodney,” Katie said suddenly, eyes blazing a little. “Would you like to come in?” she said, a strange emphasis in her voice that Rodney didn’t quite understand.
“Oh,” Rodney said, stopping to think for a second. “I shouldn’t. I have a lot of work to do, and since Sheppard bitches if I try to do any at rehearsal, I really should get it done tonight. My life would be so much easier without Sheppard in it.”
Katie sighed loudly. “Goodnight, Rodney,” she said, slipping inside before Rodney could reply.
~~~
Dress rehearsal went as smoothly as these things can, and Rodney sat attentively throughout, scowling when he caught Sheppard giving him an approving look. Although, Sheppard’s occasional looks in his direction were a lot friendlier than the ones Katie was shooting him from the wings. He wasn’t sure how he’d upset her- it wasn’t unusual for him to upset girls he was interested in, to be fair, but how was he supposed to fix it if she didn’t tell him?
After rehearsal Carson sent them all home to bed, telling them to get rested up for opening night the next day. Katie was one of the first out the door, so Rodney took his time gathering his stuff. By the time he’d finished, only a handful of people were left- including, he noticed, Sheppard, talking to Chaya, a tall exotic looking girl who played the wicked queen. She was smiling at something Sheppard said, one hand resting on his arm as she tipped back her head to laugh. Rodney scowled, thinking she was an idiot to be taken in by Sheppard’s false charm. As he left, Sheppard glanced up and saw him, smirking a little, with a one sided shrug, before turning his attention back to Chaya.
Back in his dorm, Rodney found Carson fretting, insisting that something was not right, that something would go wrong.
It must have been catching, because Rodney went to sleep feeling uneasy.
~~~
And awoke to Carson freaking out, shouting into his telephone and making high pitched noises.
“ELIZABETH IS IN HOSPITAL,” Carson shrieked when he noticed Rodney was awake.
“Oh my god,” Rodney said, sitting up. “Is she okay?” He liked Elizabeth, even if she was a politics major and tended to boss him around a little.
“What?” Carson said, stopping in his pacing back and forth across their room to give Rodney a strange look. “Oh, yes, yes, I think so. It’s nothing serious but that’s not the issue. It means we now do not have a Snow White! I’ve declared an emergency- we’re all meeting at the theatre in half an hour.”
Rodney shook his head. “I have to go to the lab,” he said, then saw the manic expression on Carson’s face and shut up. “I mean, yes, of course, let’s go.”
~~~
Carson, it seemed, wasn’t the only one freaking out. They got to the theatre early, and people were already there, conversing in small groups, looking stressed. One girl was in tears.
”I don’t know what we’re going to do,” Carson said, putting his head in his hands, shoulders shaking a little. Rodney wondered if he should try and comfort him, but then Laura was there. Rodney didn’t particularly like Laura, but Carson did, and appeared to enjoy her presence which meant Rodney was forced to endure her as best he could.
“It’s going to be fine,” she said, and Rodney grudgingly admired her calmness. “We just need to find a replacement.”
“Don’t you have understudies?” Rodney asked, and Carson gave him a miserable look.
“We…there weren’t enough people, and we thought…well, we thought wrong,” Carson finished, shoulders slumping.
“Well, can’t someone else do it anyway?” Rodney asked, glancing at his watch. He’d had an idea for an experiment that would blow several theories out of the water, and if he started now, he might get a decent amount of it done before the show that night.
Carson shook his head and looked at Laura, who was looking pensive.
“The problem is,” she said slowly. “is that we need someone who knows all of Snow White’s lines. Every single one.” She exchanged a look with Carson, who sat up straight suddenly and looked over in Rodney’s direction.
”What?” Rodney asked, suspiciously.
“McKay,” Laura said suddenly. “Can you sing?”
“No.”
“Yes he can,” Carson said. “I’ve heard him in the shower. He’s got a really nice voice. Sometimes,” he added, treacherously, “he sings songs from the show when he thinks I can’t hear him.”
“I do not,” Rodney lied, ignoring the titter of laughter that circled the room.
“It could work,” Laura said, looking Rodney up and down. Carson was nodding slowly.
Rodney suddenly caught on. He jumped out of his chair and held his hands up defensively.
“Oh no,” he said. “No. I can’t.”
“You know all the words,” Carson said.
“Yes, but-“
“You know the songs, and you can sing them-“
“Yes, but that doesn’t-“
“Rodney.”
Rodney frowned. “In case none of you have noticed, I’m a man. I can’t play Snow White.”
“Then it’ll be Pantomime,” Carson shrugged, as if Rodney’s gender was unimportant.
“I’m pretty sure I won’t fit into Elizabeth’s costume,” Rodney tried, glaring in Sheppard’s direction when he snorted.
“That’s no problem,” Teyla, who was the seamstress and costume mistress. “We’ve got enough time before the show for me to run something up. It won’t be perfect, but it’ll do for tonight, and then I can fix it up for tomorrow.”
“I can’t-“
“Please,” Carson said.
“No, but-“
“Rodney,” Katie and Laura said together, pleading.
“But I-“
“He’ll do it,” Sheppard said. “McKay. You have to.”
Rodney felt his resolve falter.
“Fine,” he said. “FINE. But you should all know I’m not happy.”
Behind him, someone whispered something to someone else.
“I swear to god, if one of you is making a seven dwarves joke, I am walking out of here so fast.”
The whispering stopped. Carson hugged Rodney. Sheppard clapped him on the shoulder, leaving a warm feeling that stuck with Rodney all through his dress fitting with Teyla.
~~~
Rodney fidgeted behind the curtain.
“Calm down,” Sheppard said, coming up behind him. “And stop playing with your wig.”
“It’s itchy,” Rodney complained. “And the bow is at a funny angle.”
Sheppard grinned and adjusted Rodney’s bow. “There,” he said. “You look very pretty.”
Rodney gave him a rude hand gesture, then caught sight of Katie off in the wings. He waved, and she smiled, giving him an almost fond look, before disappearing out front to take her seat.
When the noise of people filing into the theatre started to die down, Carson slipped out between the gap in the curtain, to introduce the play.
“…there has also been a slight adjustment to the cast list you are all holding. Tonight, Snow White will be played by Meredith McKay…”
“Meredith?” Sheppard mouthed at Rodney, shoulders shaking with silent laughter.
Rodney gave him a haughty look and went to take his position. Then the curtains lifted and- well, it wasn’t as bad as he’d expected. His voice shook a little on the songs and he had a near fatal incident involving a fake tree, but other than that it was fine. It was…even sort of fun. Rodney pondered this for a while as he lay on his back, asleep, poisoned by the wicked Chaya’s apple. And then, with a sense of dread, as Sheppard appeared on stage and launched into his solo, Rodney realised what was about to happen.
“Perhaps,” Sheppard said loudly, “her true love’s kiss will wake her?” Then he leant in and pressed his lips briefly to Rodney’s.
The script stated that Snow White was to stir, was to open her eyes and stretch her arms and let the Prince take her in his arms. But Rodney couldn’t move.
Sheppard had just kissed him.
“Let’s try that again,” Sheppard said, and then his lips were on Rodney’s again, a little longer this time.
Rodney didn’t move. Sheppard’s. Lips. On. His. His brain could hardly compute it. It was…well, it wasn’t bad at all. In fact, if Rodney was honest to himself, he kind of liked it.
A ripple of laughter from the audience surrounded him as Sheppard announced “Well, third time’s the charm!” and kissed him again. This time there was more pressure, his lips were more insistent, and before Rodney could even think properly, he was opening his mouth, kissing Sheppard back, hard and a little bit desperately. Rodney could hear the audience cheering and wolf whistling, and then Sheppard pulled back, and Rodney sat up, dramatically gaping at Sheppard, who gave him a wink, before taking his hand and pulling him to his feet.
The rest of the show was a blur, nothing but words and music and movement and Sheppard and applause, and then someone was handing Rodney a bunch of flowers, and Carson was hugging him tightly.
“I’m going to Laura’s tonight,” Carson said. “If you want to have company in the room tonight.”
Rodney stared after him in confusion, but then Katie was there in front of him, pulling him into a hug.
”Congratulations, Rodney,” she said, letting him go and hurrying out of the theatre with some others. Rodney watched her go, expecting to feel a pang of loss, but there was nothing, so he headed to the dressing room to take off his makeup.
Sheppard was still in there, grinning as Rodney pulled off the wig with a content sigh.
“That is so much better,” he said, staring at himself in the mirror and making a face.
“Mirror, mirror, on the wall,” Sheppard said, getting up and moving closer to Rodney. “Who’s the fairest of them all?”
Rodney rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes, you’re a handsome one. I know. You’re a good kisser too,” he added, then clamped his mouth shut.
Sheppard laughed. “Thank you,” he said. “But I wasn’t talking about myself,” he raised an eyebrow at Rodney, who stared at him.
“Oh,” Rodney said. “Um? Is that why you’ve been such a jerk to me?”
“I wasn’t a jerk,” Sheppard said, looking offended. “I was trying to flirt with you.”
“Wow,” Rodney wiped his face clean. “I never thought I’d meet someone worse at flirting than me.”
Sheppard pouted a little. “God, Rodney,” he said. “You sure make it hard for a guy to tell you he likes you.”
Rodney looked up at him in surprise. “You do? I mean, really?”
Sheppard nodded.
“Oh,” Rodney said. “Um. Well. In that case, Sheppard, what do you say you help me get this dress off, then we head back to my place?”
Sheppard chuckled. “I bet you say that to all the boys,” he said, stepping forward to undo Rodney’s bodice. “And it’s John,” he added.
“John,” Rodney repeated, stripping the dress off and hanging it up carefully, not wanting to incur the wrath of Teyla, who could probably kill him with her pinkie finger. He pulled on his street clothes and nodded at the door.
“Shall we?” he asked, and John nodded, reaching out and pulling the door open.
”After you, my lady,” he said gallantly, darting forward to press a kiss to a startled Rodney’s lips before he could say anything.