I am Weird
Here are some weird facts about me. I do not like being around people who are casual acquaintences or passers by. For example I took a walk yesterday and as usual I didn't want to meet anybody or walk past anybody on the road. I do not even like cars passing me by. This is why ideally I would walk directly out into the country and stay away from roads altogether but I cannot do this. I have to go on some roads to get out into the country.
I do like playing music for people however, but only if I am background. I usually don't like playing concerts where I am the center of everyone's attention. There are exceptions to this. I used to play a lot of nursing homes and I generally enjoyed that. I also once had some gigs where I played for small children which I also didn't mind. When people compliment me after any performance I feel a strange mixture of pleasure and discomfort. If no one compliments me I feel depressed but when they do I feel awkward and stilted, but also happy.
When I go into town to the grocery or some other errand, I try to avoid people as much as possible. When I do come in contact with them I try to be pleasant and this effort is usually returned.
The way I most enjoy people is sitting and talking, shooting the breeze, finding out about them, discussing topics of mutual interest. I don't like eating meals with people although having something(non-alcoholic)to drink with them doesn't bother me. I like giving people massages but this is almost always considered inappropriate and is therefore awkward.
I don't like talking on the phone and can get very nervous when doing business on it. I hate waiting in lines, waiting rooms, crowded areas, public transportation, airplanes. I don't mind being in trains so much but not for long periods. I don't like group pictures and I never go to parties anymore unless I'm engaged to play music for them.
I hate religious gatherings and ceremonies of all kinds although I kind of enjoy drum circles but after they are over I always feel hyped up and have a hard time getting to sleep. In general I don't like to do exciting things in the evening for this same reason. I don't like going out to concerts or movies and I really dislike eating in restaurants.
I enjoy helping people out without charging them money, fixing something for them, discussing a problem. I don't like being paid for services rendered and I am very uncomfortable trying to get jobs and asking for money as well as paying it out for services or large ticket items. I do like to recieve things in trade for my services, especially works of art, things people have made or garden produce, and I like it when people bring me gifts. I also like to give things away but I don't like the sense of obligation gifts sometimes imply or generate although I often "keep score" in my head on what I feel I'm owed or owe.
I do like playing music for people however, but only if I am background. I usually don't like playing concerts where I am the center of everyone's attention. There are exceptions to this. I used to play a lot of nursing homes and I generally enjoyed that. I also once had some gigs where I played for small children which I also didn't mind. When people compliment me after any performance I feel a strange mixture of pleasure and discomfort. If no one compliments me I feel depressed but when they do I feel awkward and stilted, but also happy.
When I go into town to the grocery or some other errand, I try to avoid people as much as possible. When I do come in contact with them I try to be pleasant and this effort is usually returned.
The way I most enjoy people is sitting and talking, shooting the breeze, finding out about them, discussing topics of mutual interest. I don't like eating meals with people although having something(non-alcoholic)to drink with them doesn't bother me. I like giving people massages but this is almost always considered inappropriate and is therefore awkward.
I don't like talking on the phone and can get very nervous when doing business on it. I hate waiting in lines, waiting rooms, crowded areas, public transportation, airplanes. I don't mind being in trains so much but not for long periods. I don't like group pictures and I never go to parties anymore unless I'm engaged to play music for them.
I hate religious gatherings and ceremonies of all kinds although I kind of enjoy drum circles but after they are over I always feel hyped up and have a hard time getting to sleep. In general I don't like to do exciting things in the evening for this same reason. I don't like going out to concerts or movies and I really dislike eating in restaurants.
I enjoy helping people out without charging them money, fixing something for them, discussing a problem. I don't like being paid for services rendered and I am very uncomfortable trying to get jobs and asking for money as well as paying it out for services or large ticket items. I do like to recieve things in trade for my services, especially works of art, things people have made or garden produce, and I like it when people bring me gifts. I also like to give things away but I don't like the sense of obligation gifts sometimes imply or generate although I often "keep score" in my head on what I feel I'm owed or owe.