"God Has No Sympathy for the Devil"
Title: "God Has No Sympathy for the Devil (When It Comes to John Winchester)"
Rating: PG
Characters: God, Satan
Category: Crackfic. Bigtime.
Word Count: ~150
Episodes/Spoilers: "In My Time of Dying" and "All Hell Breaks Loose."
Disclaimer: God, Satan, and John Winchester do not belong to me. No copyright infringement or blasphemy is intended.
Summary: Theologically speaking, does a good soul ever really belong in hell?
A/N: I posted this humorously on a forum a long time back, but technically, it is fic.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Unidentified Location
John Winchester's Hospital Room
God, watching the deal between John and the Yellow-Eyed Demon, thinks, 'Whew! Heaven dodged a bullet there.'
Four months later:
Satan: "This Winchester guy…he's not really evil, you know."
God: "What can I say? He made a deal to go to hell."
Three months later:
Satan: "Not even borderline, is what I'm saying. Spent his life fighting for good."
God: "A contract's a contract."
Two months later:
Satan: "You know he was a demon hunter, right? That's good."
God: "You know the difference between good and evil? Good honors its word."
One month later:
Satan: "And he's still good! Hunting demons! It's all he ever talks about!"
God: "Look, my hands are tied."
Three weeks later:
Satan: "Day and night! Night and day! The other damned don't deserve this!"
God: "And the saved do?"
Two weeks later:
Satan: "So, about Winchester..."
God: "No."
One week later:
Satan: "Deal didn't say anything about what happened if he got out. You're stuck with him."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Further author's notes:
Comments are welcome. All my fic may be found here, but most of it is nothing like this.
Rating: PG
Characters: God, Satan
Category: Crackfic. Bigtime.
Word Count: ~150
Episodes/Spoilers: "In My Time of Dying" and "All Hell Breaks Loose."
Disclaimer: God, Satan, and John Winchester do not belong to me. No copyright infringement or blasphemy is intended.
Summary: Theologically speaking, does a good soul ever really belong in hell?
A/N: I posted this humorously on a forum a long time back, but technically, it is fic.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Unidentified Location
John Winchester's Hospital Room
God, watching the deal between John and the Yellow-Eyed Demon, thinks, 'Whew! Heaven dodged a bullet there.'
Four months later:
Satan: "This Winchester guy…he's not really evil, you know."
God: "What can I say? He made a deal to go to hell."
Three months later:
Satan: "Not even borderline, is what I'm saying. Spent his life fighting for good."
God: "A contract's a contract."
Two months later:
Satan: "You know he was a demon hunter, right? That's good."
God: "You know the difference between good and evil? Good honors its word."
One month later:
Satan: "And he's still good! Hunting demons! It's all he ever talks about!"
God: "Look, my hands are tied."
Three weeks later:
Satan: "Day and night! Night and day! The other damned don't deserve this!"
God: "And the saved do?"
Two weeks later:
Satan: "So, about Winchester..."
God: "No."
One week later:
Satan: "Deal didn't say anything about what happened if he got out. You're stuck with him."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Further author's notes:
Comments are welcome. All my fic may be found here, but most of it is nothing like this.