My Daughter
So my daughter will be here in a month! Aahhh! I am both very excited and a little frightened. The fear is not so much of being a father as of the birth itself… its quite an ordeal for women, especially the first time. I try not to worry though, to remember that this is in the hands of the Gods as everything has always been, and remind myself that every human being alive was the result of a successful birth. Robyn is a very strong girl, her Yoga has kept her body lean and strong through the whole pregnancy, and she has a fierce spirit. I try and not to linger on negative possibilities.
We had a beautiful blessing for Robyn and Lil’ Bunkin at Sistrum the Friday before last. It was exciting to be at Sistrum - I’d been threatening to try to sneak in for the last five years in a dress. Although the proceedings are private I can say that I felt like a *stranger* there in that place of Women’s mysteries… I was very awed and humbled there with all those ladies and very very grateful for the blessing we received.
Our daughter listens to us. She wiggles and squirms and kicks Robyn in the ribs. Last month I had Robyn sit in front of me while I played guitar. I rested the back of the guitar against the front of her tummy to baby could feel the vibrations of the music and hear her daddy sing. We put earphones on her tummy once and played some Strauss for her.
I hope my daughter and I will be close for our entire lives. I look forward to feeling her little hand in mine, and teaching her about life as best I can. I look forward to learning the lessons that she will teach me. Sometimes I think I can feel her love getting closer as What She Is is drawn from Elsewhere into the vessel of her flesh. I hope she can ignore my fear, feel my hope, and be patient with her new daddy.