R. Kelly...you sly bastard, you
When I watched the 30 minute special on MTV showing the five installments of the thrilling saga, aptly entitled "Trapped in a Closet",by one R. Kelly, I thought I had won the lottery/died and gone to heaven/some other really lucky thing. Now, he has released ANOTHER chapter in this classic epic. What can you do now, R? What can you possibly do now to top yourself? The world is watching and waiting while you work your magic...and hoping you don't go to prison for statutory rape before the seventeenth installment is released.
So I watched Cold Mountain today...I don't really know why. It was 2 1/2 hours of foreign people faking southern accents, Rene Zellweger as comic relief (what were they thinking?), and Jude Law getting fucked in the ass in every possible way, by everyone he meets on the way back to his annoyingly hopeful lady, Nicole Kidman. There's also some albino guy who's a big asshole, Jack White singing and being a puss, and the fat guy from Boy Meets World. And then everybody dies. Except Jack White...who should have died.
So I watched Cold Mountain today...I don't really know why. It was 2 1/2 hours of foreign people faking southern accents, Rene Zellweger as comic relief (what were they thinking?), and Jude Law getting fucked in the ass in every possible way, by everyone he meets on the way back to his annoyingly hopeful lady, Nicole Kidman. There's also some albino guy who's a big asshole, Jack White singing and being a puss, and the fat guy from Boy Meets World. And then everybody dies. Except Jack White...who should have died.