Robot/Pirate
Ok so we just had a conversation about - well, it was about comedy, but the subject matter is not particularly important. I was trying to explain the difference between someone trying to be funny, and someone....well, trying to be funny, but in this case succeeding. Does anyone else know what I mean? In comedy you're always told to not try to be funny - and you've seen what happens when someone does. In improv especially, it usually results in the audience cringing and looking away. It's that moment someone jumps up and adds someone completely out of left field to the scene, then looks at the audience with a big implied wink, as if to say 'see how funny I am?'
Anyway, like I said it's not actually important. As I was trying to explain the difference, he asked me what the functional difference was. I didn't understand and asked him to clarify, and he said "people's emotions and their inner feelings don't make sense to me, but patterns of behavior do." And that kind of rocked me a little. It's not like either of us is unaware of the fact that we think very, very differently. Our brains are just fundamentally wired in opposition. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's the cause of heartache, and sometimes, like tonight, it makes me think.
You see, I don't think I'm ever aware of patterns of behavior. And I'm not counting fictional characters here, because they are written out perfectly and premeditatedly - their patterns of behavior are scripted. I mean in humans. I don't really track what people do, or when they do it. I'm much more a feelings person - I am all about the subtle, intangible, and very difficult to describe inner emotions. So when I try to tell the difference between two concepts, I come at it from a feelings perspective - how it feels to be an audience member, how it feels when you are trying to make someone laugh versus when you just want someone to think you're brilliantly funny. It's so hard for me to reorient and think, ok, quantitatively, what is the difference in behavior? What are you actually doing in that moment?
I'm not really sure, still. I gave some examples I barely remember and he nodded and seemed like it suddenly all made sense to him; at the same time, it felt like my brain had just sucked on a very large, very juicy lemon and seized.
I'm sure I will read this in a month a not understand a single word.