Reading is bad
Do you ever see someone you dated in the past or had a huge crush on in the past and even if you are totally happy with your life at that time, All of those old feeling come rushing back and you are willing to do anything for them again even if you know it is not a positive in your life. Well kinda happened to me today. But then I dont know it was gone, and then I read something and now I dont know. I really like the way my life has been, School sucks but something has to suck (I have to have something to complain about) my house is good, and I dont know, even if everything is so good right now. there is always that what if....
I honestly dont like this idea. My roomate would shoot me along with about fifty other people for even thinking these thoughts because they all know how good this new "relationship thing" is for me. I totally agree, but I dont know I kinda have the erge to wonder and see whats over there. Don't read this wrong and assume I am going to do something stupid or that I dont like this guy I have been seeing, He is as close to perfect on so many levels. I like him alot and just thinking about him kinda pushes these thoughts almost entirely out of my mind. ALMOST. I dont know I know I am aloud to think these things but I feel guilty, For once in my life I have someone who lets me be indapendant like I want to be and he trust me. I want to keep that trust more than anything. I used to not care as much but he has trusted me from the start and I would do anything to keep that trust. I can tell him I want to go to a party with out him and hes like cool I will see you later. I know he would want to spend time with me but its like hes knows I need to do my own thing.
So this post went from kinda confused to not....but I still have those thoughts about other people.
I dont know if I am horrible because i have these thoughts.
I honestly dont like this idea. My roomate would shoot me along with about fifty other people for even thinking these thoughts because they all know how good this new "relationship thing" is for me. I totally agree, but I dont know I kinda have the erge to wonder and see whats over there. Don't read this wrong and assume I am going to do something stupid or that I dont like this guy I have been seeing, He is as close to perfect on so many levels. I like him alot and just thinking about him kinda pushes these thoughts almost entirely out of my mind. ALMOST. I dont know I know I am aloud to think these things but I feel guilty, For once in my life I have someone who lets me be indapendant like I want to be and he trust me. I want to keep that trust more than anything. I used to not care as much but he has trusted me from the start and I would do anything to keep that trust. I can tell him I want to go to a party with out him and hes like cool I will see you later. I know he would want to spend time with me but its like hes knows I need to do my own thing.
So this post went from kinda confused to not....but I still have those thoughts about other people.
I dont know if I am horrible because i have these thoughts.