just dance
Did you hear Ellen's commencement speech at Tulane? No? Why then here: http://www.feministing.com/archives/015902.html
I laughed my ass off and got a little nostalgic and then danced, of course. Waaaaay back when, 12 years ago, when Clinton was president and unicorns roamed the earth... I "came out" when Ellen/Ellen's character came out on her sitcom. (Bender will recall this.) I was 18 and senior in high school, living on my own (I had a fucked up family life, surprise) in Alabama, where parts of the state were banning her show from the air. I was terrified to say the thing I had known for years, but I was ready to be myself to everyone all the time.
That has not come without its upsets, of course. Sure, being bisexual was easy and fun as hell while going to a small liberal arts school relatively isolated from morons, but it's been difficult in other aspects. Friendships with women can be a bit strained at times. I've had insecure boyfriends accuse me of a variety of fucked up things. My father has no idea and my sister (the prop 8 voter) who once defended me now attacks me. I was always careful to keep my sexuality completely to myself in whatever job I held. And if you read my last post, you know what kind of philosophical crisis I'm having in supporting the LGBT movement when the Ls and Gs wants to shake off the Bs and Ts in order to progress their own cause. It's not easy. My sexuality is not a major part of my "identity," it's just who I am. I'm not really interested in being part of any "community," because over the past 12 years I've been excluded too much to want into the cool kids club. Still, I do very much want to be as free and open as I was at 18, and the guilt in the pit of my belly tells me I've fallen away from that personal mission. So far away.
And then I heard Ellen's commencement address and was reminded that I'm not alone. It's difficult for everyone. And maybe we should just dance--it's gonna be all right (with apologies to Lady Gaga).
Oh, and guess what, I just so happen to have a brunch date with a woman today. I better get ready...
I laughed my ass off and got a little nostalgic and then danced, of course. Waaaaay back when, 12 years ago, when Clinton was president and unicorns roamed the earth... I "came out" when Ellen/Ellen's character came out on her sitcom. (Bender will recall this.) I was 18 and senior in high school, living on my own (I had a fucked up family life, surprise) in Alabama, where parts of the state were banning her show from the air. I was terrified to say the thing I had known for years, but I was ready to be myself to everyone all the time.
That has not come without its upsets, of course. Sure, being bisexual was easy and fun as hell while going to a small liberal arts school relatively isolated from morons, but it's been difficult in other aspects. Friendships with women can be a bit strained at times. I've had insecure boyfriends accuse me of a variety of fucked up things. My father has no idea and my sister (the prop 8 voter) who once defended me now attacks me. I was always careful to keep my sexuality completely to myself in whatever job I held. And if you read my last post, you know what kind of philosophical crisis I'm having in supporting the LGBT movement when the Ls and Gs wants to shake off the Bs and Ts in order to progress their own cause. It's not easy. My sexuality is not a major part of my "identity," it's just who I am. I'm not really interested in being part of any "community," because over the past 12 years I've been excluded too much to want into the cool kids club. Still, I do very much want to be as free and open as I was at 18, and the guilt in the pit of my belly tells me I've fallen away from that personal mission. So far away.
And then I heard Ellen's commencement address and was reminded that I'm not alone. It's difficult for everyone. And maybe we should just dance--it's gonna be all right (with apologies to Lady Gaga).
Oh, and guess what, I just so happen to have a brunch date with a woman today. I better get ready...