it's raining stupid and crazy

[blueflame11]

I tell ya, feast or famine... Today I was in midtown (yeesh) for a meeting with my thesis adviser at MoMA. I didn't wear my mohawk proper because I didn't want to shock the prof (too much) or get my damn picture taken by tourists, which has happened more than once in Manhattan and it creeps me the fuck out. Somewhere in the world someone has my

Comments

[syntaxxx]

ok. first I would like to say I AM NOT BLAMING YOU FOR OTHER PEOPLES BEHAVIOR but...
by desiring to "holla back" you might be inviting their energy into your space. I find that when I want to REALLY be alone I send out a vibe that says don't fuck with me & even nasty scumbags don't.

Of course New york probably has a higher consintration of aforementioned scumbags...

but have you considered that?

[blueflame11]

Waaaaaidaminute now. I have NO desire to holla back--I don't go out craving it, by any means, and I post the stories because I can tell them in a funny way while also reinforcing my self-sufficency. I feel that if my privacy is invaded by someone else, I MUST demand it back. I think that if I ignore it I am complacent in my invasion (I take a page out of Utah Phillip's book: "Freedom is something you assume, then you wait around for someone to take it away. The degree to which you resist is the degree to which you are free"). Maybe I invite more trouble by talking back, but most times I think I send these assholes off faster than if I had ingored then AND regretting that they ever talked to me. Plus, if they want to ruin my private reflections with their shit, I certainly should pay it back, tenfold. I really, really try to disappear when I'm out in public. I don't look strangers on the street in the eye, I try to put on my most androgynous clothes (which I resent), and I definitely send out "don't fuck with me" rays. I'm

i'll see you and raise you one

[syntaxxx]

i don't think you invite shit. in fact, the only reason i would ever approach you is to hit on you... ;) (i'm a sucker for girls that scare me.)

also, part of the reason i love NYC is that you're surrounded by people, but there's kind of this unspoken rule that we leave each other alone. it's so fucking crowded that you gotta carve out your space where you can--and consequently people are very protective of that space. you don't have to love thy neighbor, but pray stayeth thou out of his face.

i think your problem was actually Bryant Park. it's chock-a-block with tourists, office meatheads, and chatty scum. i HATE sitting there.

and finally, right on for hollering back. i feel about this as i do about gay-bashing: men harass women bc they're not afraid of us. time to change that perception. if one asshole never hollas again bc of you, then good job. fuck holla back, i'm ready to PUNCH back.

- angry angry jen

Re: i'll see you and raise you one

[blueflame11]

"...men harass women bc they're not afraid of us. time to change that perception."

Right on, so perfectly right on. I think their lack of fear comes from (most) women's diminutive size. Physically, I'll never look like I can kick a guy's ass, but my crazy-ass eyes might say I'm willing to try. (And let's not forget that I'm deadly with a wooden spoon...) Oh, and you explained NYC's space/silence rule really well too. You've got wicked seniority on me there and I'm still trying to figure it out.

Here's a question: do you think American media makes it hard for a "real" woman to be left alone when advertisements, tv shows (especially reality shows), movies, and magazines suggest that ALL women are approachable, horny, and willing to bang a guy twice her age?

Re: i'll see you and raise you one

[syntaxxx]

word. American media is in a full-on backlash right now. not only are all women whores (nothing new) but we're ALSO Christian/family-values moms-to-be. thanks an ASSLOAD, Britney Spears. you owe your career to Madonna and this is how you repay her? (not that Madge is living up to her past image at the moment...) it's not only a mixed message, but a dangerous one

Re: i'll see you and raise you one

[blueflame11]

On the one hand I want to investigate just for shit and grins, but OTOH, I really don't want to know what goes through their stupid, sick, small minds...

I have NO idea what's up with your daddy thing, but you own it!

[syntaxxx]

well You know how I feel about hollering back and I'm quick witted enough to be good at it but I was just raising the possiblity as I'm an all angles kind of girl

[blueflame11]

Hmm, looking them IN the eye instead--might work. It's strange in NY versus the South; generally in the South you look someone in the face and maybe nod when you pass each other (otherwise you're "not from 'round here" or a bad neighbor), but up here people get physically aggravated by being acknowledged. It was a very strange lesson for me when I moved. I never really did like the Southern thing, but I had no idea it was embedded in my habits and thus so hard to break. As for the short hair, it must be like meat in the South. Some people are downright insulted that you don't want to partake (of either kind of meat), and short hair signifies that, at least to the aggressive idiots. Man, can't we just wear our hair however we like and be left alone? Hair, for christsakes.

Gawd, I sincerely hope I'm not forcing the victimization of easier prey. Shit...

See now, this is a great forum and 'zackly why I think starting up an uppity women "talk back" community would be super beneficial.

[syntaxxx]

there you go that was my whole point in the first place - to talk about the holla back.

my best one (in my opinion) was at a rest stop on the way to florida when I guy walked by with his erect penis out of his fly. My headlights were on and he just bounced by with the biggest smile on his face until I rolled down the window and yelled "I've seen bigger penises at kindergarten pool parties" which is kind of gross but the first thing I thought of and it wiped the smile off his face pretty quick.