(no subject)
I'm taking suggestions for how to respond to this situation:
Summary: I'm not out in Columbus (gender identiy-wise). I spent all of last year trying to tell the feminist women I work with that I'm queer, not a dyke or a lesbian. They never remembered and always included me when talking about lesbians in the group, despite me sleeping with a guy and repeated reminders that I'm not a lesbian. As of June, I'm dating a transwoman. By some amazing (NOT) coincidence, they are suddenly able to remember that I'm not a lesbian. These are the women who on repeated occassions have vehemently denied that they're transphobic and think they don't have any work to do. (You may have heard from Bryn about the Reproductive Rights Conference.) I mean, I want them to remember that I'm queer and not a lesbian, but the fact that their reminder is that I'm dating a transwoman is not okay. I'm not sure what to do, because it's not like anyone has walked up to me and said something as blatant as "I guess you're really queer after all." I could maybe bring up the subject of the sexual orientaions of the members of the groups, since it's been talked about before (relating to how few lesbian and bisexual women are in the group and how our group's activism is very focused on abortion rights). When they didn't ask me for the "lesbian opinion" I could say something.
My girlfriend suggested carrying a nail gun for use when someone says something. "Through the end of their shoe?", I asked. "No, through their foot!" The organization as a whole and the people in it are transphobic and they won't admit it. I guess I'm so stuck on this because in my head if I can somehow unequivically prove to them that they're transphobic, maybe they'll do somethig about it.
Other than that, these people are being really shitty and I don't want to just let them get away with it. The nail gun not really being an option, what would you suggest?
(Double posted because I'm really irritated and I'm going to a meeting of this group next week.)
Summary: I'm not out in Columbus (gender identiy-wise). I spent all of last year trying to tell the feminist women I work with that I'm queer, not a dyke or a lesbian. They never remembered and always included me when talking about lesbians in the group, despite me sleeping with a guy and repeated reminders that I'm not a lesbian. As of June, I'm dating a transwoman. By some amazing (NOT) coincidence, they are suddenly able to remember that I'm not a lesbian. These are the women who on repeated occassions have vehemently denied that they're transphobic and think they don't have any work to do. (You may have heard from Bryn about the Reproductive Rights Conference.) I mean, I want them to remember that I'm queer and not a lesbian, but the fact that their reminder is that I'm dating a transwoman is not okay. I'm not sure what to do, because it's not like anyone has walked up to me and said something as blatant as "I guess you're really queer after all." I could maybe bring up the subject of the sexual orientaions of the members of the groups, since it's been talked about before (relating to how few lesbian and bisexual women are in the group and how our group's activism is very focused on abortion rights). When they didn't ask me for the "lesbian opinion" I could say something.
My girlfriend suggested carrying a nail gun for use when someone says something. "Through the end of their shoe?", I asked. "No, through their foot!" The organization as a whole and the people in it are transphobic and they won't admit it. I guess I'm so stuck on this because in my head if I can somehow unequivically prove to them that they're transphobic, maybe they'll do somethig about it.
Other than that, these people are being really shitty and I don't want to just let them get away with it. The nail gun not really being an option, what would you suggest?
(Double posted because I'm really irritated and I'm going to a meeting of this group next week.)