life or death heaven or hell
would i rather live or die isnt that the ultimate question. is pain of life now out-weighing the thought of relief from it. hell yes but the only problem is i refuse to go out like that. why cant i get hit by a fucking bus or something you know. get it over with im past the fear that maybe ill go to hell becuase i refuse to have a good relationship with god. I live with the fucking devil anyway and god sent her. I Cant blame nick he needed to have a child of his own that he could treat better then he ever treated me or amanda and yet amanda wants him to give her away at her wedding yeah ima little pissed about that. but hey im no one in life remember im the cause of all the fucking problems in their relationship isnt that right i mean thats what i was told. she can do no worng. Amanda can live at grandmas rent free but me the only thing holding me back from escaping this horrible hell is the fact that i got screwed in every horrible way possible in life and to top it off i pay total 500 bucks a month for a purple fucking car! god dammit fuck that. i want it to be over whay cant it just be fucking over AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH