Hard day.

Mar 08, 2011 20:11

I got a lot done, unpacked 6 boxes of crap. I really wanted to have some of my pictures of Tabby so I can look at them. Most recent ones are all on memory sticks. I am sill missing two of those but I found this one.


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bluefenox March 9 2011, 04:33:12 UTC
Some days i am numb..other days i can't stop crying. I hate grief, i hate "survivors guilt". Sadie still isn't adjusting well. She was always a nervous cat until she got older.

For hating him so much she sure can't take him being gone. She is a necrotic mess. If i move to get up she meows runs for her food dish when it's full. When i leave and come back she looks like she is surprised i came back at all and is so glommy i can't get a second to my self with out her whining to be ON me.

She throws full on bitch fits if i try to sleep on my side because she wants to pin me to the bed and lay on my chest at all times. She does that by yowling and stomping on my side trying to lay there then yowling more and if i have a pillow over my head she sticks her face in it and either tries to snuff me in my sleep or screams directly in my ear under the pillow. I can't win with her. She is getting worse as time goes on rather then better.

I had thought of getting a small dog or cat but really it's not a good time for that. She also was the one that has made that impossible no matter how many times i have tried in the past. For letting her self be bullied she can sure turn around and be an all out aggressor to other cats i had tried to adopt over the yrs.

They were all adult cats but I was afraid to even think of a kitten..if she tried beating on one she could damn near kill one. I don't know how she would react. that's the problem. I am also just to heartsick and not ready for all of that yet. I really don't know if i will be again.

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