just for thought.
I've been too much of a roller coaster lately. Geeze, I'm even starting to think I've gone bipolar. It's incredible the amount of mood swings I've had ... makes me wonder if I should go back on meds? I swore off those things forever, but it's getting to the point where I even get mad at myself for the STUPIDEST things. Needless to say I'm confusing everyone one around me, including the boyfriend.
We celebrated our one month anniversary this past Friday and things couldn't be better, well except for me of course. I wonder if he'll ever get tired of it. Cuz well, i'm pretty tired of my own shit. Poor thing, I hate when I get like this. If he wasn't sucha a good guy I really wouldn't give a shit - but because he is I feel nothing but guilty about it. Sometimes I just feel like breaking it off cuz I'm scared one day he'll just get fed up with it and get up and leave. I wonder if that'll be the smarter thing to do? Let them go before they leave... That's always been my philosophy. I wonder if I should go back to it?
I'm in the process of taking out a loan for school. God knows the last thing I wanted to do was get into more debt, but at this point - I feel like I have no choice. Living by myself is getting practically impossible. I have so many expenses that in spite of the fact that I'm pulling so much over time and killing myself - I can't seem to get by. My parents offered for me to move back in... but well I prefer not to even get into that. That would be a disaster in the making.
I'm off.
We celebrated our one month anniversary this past Friday and things couldn't be better, well except for me of course. I wonder if he'll ever get tired of it. Cuz well, i'm pretty tired of my own shit. Poor thing, I hate when I get like this. If he wasn't sucha a good guy I really wouldn't give a shit - but because he is I feel nothing but guilty about it. Sometimes I just feel like breaking it off cuz I'm scared one day he'll just get fed up with it and get up and leave. I wonder if that'll be the smarter thing to do? Let them go before they leave... That's always been my philosophy. I wonder if I should go back to it?
I'm in the process of taking out a loan for school. God knows the last thing I wanted to do was get into more debt, but at this point - I feel like I have no choice. Living by myself is getting practically impossible. I have so many expenses that in spite of the fact that I'm pulling so much over time and killing myself - I can't seem to get by. My parents offered for me to move back in... but well I prefer not to even get into that. That would be a disaster in the making.
I'm off.