*sobs*
Today was a pretty bad day. Everything started out fine, but once I got home things started getting bad. For the last three or four days, I've been feeling like I'm slowly sliding down into my hole of depression and anxiety. Usually I can just shake it off, but I can't seem to do that. And then today my parents were trying to put up some curtains in the family room, and my dad started yelling and swearing, and my mom started getting mad. After about five minutes of that they started fighting about everything. I think that is why I might be fading again, I am not emotionally stable enough to handle their constant bickering and yelling.
The part that really gets on my nerves is that my mom was always telling me that I should feel like I could talk to her. But ya know what? There isn't really anyone in my family that I could talk to that would possibly understand what I'm going through. I mean I had one of my panic attack moments, and I just had to lock myself in the bathroom because I didn't know what else to do with myself because if I told my mom then she would just either tell me to get over it, or else I'm just doing it to get attention. And trust me if I was doing it to get attention I would know it, and this wouldn't be the way that I would try and get attention either.
So yeah, I really only have one person I can talk to but I don't want to get him too involved because we're only going out and I don't want to make him feeling obligated to do anything. And my mom would probably just get even more upset with me for bringing him into this. I just feel like I need to get away for a while. I mean whenever they go somewhere they always want me to go, I mean I'm almost eighteen why can't I just do things on my own for once in my life.
I don't know if it's me or them that need the therapists.
