my life right now... for those of u that were wondering
i don't want to go to school anymore... i have no drive to do well in classes other when i am actually in class and we are having a dicussion. but i guess at universities haveing an opinion doesn't matter at all. only doing assignments and taking tests. i bugs me sooo much that someone like me can be the most talkative person in class dicussions yet those people that don't care or have any opinion about the subject can get an A for the class while i the horrable test taker can get an F. don't i show an understandiong of the subject matter in class to not have to take a test??/
i want to quit school i have desire to do well in classes. all i am doing is swimming eating sleeping and working. that is my life oh and not to mention pining over a boy that now live 3 thousand miles away from me, that i can't stop thinking about( espeicially not knowing if he feels the same way(he won't read this so i m not worried)). i can't handle it. i am doing really well in the pool but i am using up all my energy doing it. my only drive is to swim well to get in shape... but for what to compete to show the world and my team that i am worth a dame, to prove to myself that the last 12 years of my life have not been in vain. that i have been working towards something. that the thousands and thousands of yard that i have been training through, that the only thing i know how to do well (know and working on technique) is not knowledge wasted on some nobody that used to be a swimmer, that had talent and had the drive at one point to make something out of her life. i mean is that sad that i the only thing i am really good at is swimming what am i supposed to do if i can't do it anymore. but i am trapped because i also can not see myself going through 3 more years of school and coming out alive with a degree. it is also hard knowing myself, i dno't know if i could be the type of person to push myself to continue swimming if i am not swimming for a team or for a higher goal. right now i m swimming for a conference championships, a championships that i don't even know if i will be elligable to swim in.
and now that i have finally found someone on the the team that i really like and want to hang out with. 1) i have no time and 2) she doesn't want to swim anymore.3) can my life get anymore copmlicated
right now all i want to do is move back to hawaii, go to massage school, and coach and train with Kam aquatics.
i want to quit school i have desire to do well in classes. all i am doing is swimming eating sleeping and working. that is my life oh and not to mention pining over a boy that now live 3 thousand miles away from me, that i can't stop thinking about( espeicially not knowing if he feels the same way(he won't read this so i m not worried)). i can't handle it. i am doing really well in the pool but i am using up all my energy doing it. my only drive is to swim well to get in shape... but for what to compete to show the world and my team that i am worth a dame, to prove to myself that the last 12 years of my life have not been in vain. that i have been working towards something. that the thousands and thousands of yard that i have been training through, that the only thing i know how to do well (know and working on technique) is not knowledge wasted on some nobody that used to be a swimmer, that had talent and had the drive at one point to make something out of her life. i mean is that sad that i the only thing i am really good at is swimming what am i supposed to do if i can't do it anymore. but i am trapped because i also can not see myself going through 3 more years of school and coming out alive with a degree. it is also hard knowing myself, i dno't know if i could be the type of person to push myself to continue swimming if i am not swimming for a team or for a higher goal. right now i m swimming for a conference championships, a championships that i don't even know if i will be elligable to swim in.
and now that i have finally found someone on the the team that i really like and want to hang out with. 1) i have no time and 2) she doesn't want to swim anymore.3) can my life get anymore copmlicated
right now all i want to do is move back to hawaii, go to massage school, and coach and train with Kam aquatics.