(no subject)
what am I doing? I just want to go to bed and never get out again. or just never go to bed again. either one would work. I could stay awake forever. I only want to eat tea and oatmeal and read good books and poetry and write things that make sense and have real friends and trust people and trust myself and be a real person and be able to be completely alone and think about things that are important instead of trivial little things or conversations. I want to be able to be myself and not worry about it. I want to be good.