J2 Fic - In Which Jared Discovers He's An Idiot. 1/1
Summary - So maybe Jared squishes Misha with his car...on purpose. Unashamed schmoop, this isn’t the J2 Round Robin fic I’ve been working on with my 2 incredible writing buddies, please just think of this as a plot-less hors d'oeuvre which was written in the too-long time it took for Supernatural 4x04 to download.
Warning - rated NC/17 for some bad language and sexin' talk. Also this was unplanned and is therefore unbeta'ed.
Disclaimer - I don't own Jared or Jensen or Misha and no disrespect is intended, this entire thing is the work of my imagination and that's a strange place.
In Which Jared Discovers He's An Idiot And Jensen Whole Heartily Agrees.
Jared stands back, rubs a hand through his thick hair and sighs heavily. His face is orange, orange like a goddamn Satsuma. He’s been a little on the orange side before, sometimes pale as death and sometimes just nicely tanned but this time Kathy in make-up has gone too far. He has to do an interview for E! looking like someone is going to come up at any minute to try and make themselves a smoothie by squeezing his head.
Jared scrambles out of the make-up trailer on a wing and a prayer, Kathy stands at the doorway brandishing a pair of hair straighteners threateningly and there’s no way...just no way, he’s having his hair fucked with so he can end up with fucked up hair that perfectly matches his stupid orange fucked up face.
Kristin from E! is around on the set somewhere, probably hiding behind the props tent waiting for some hot scoop to fall in her lap. Jared grins to himself, the only scoop she’s going to find back there involves Carl the runner and his freaky infatuation with wearing cargo shorts and flip-flops in like minus seventy weather conditions.
Jared heads straight for Jensen's trailer hoping that he can hide out there for awhile before his interview and maybe they'll have time to catch up, seeing as it's been a few hours since they last exchanged hand-jobs. He's also somewhat keen to find out if Jensen's mouth still tastes as good as it did this morning when they were sitting side by side at the breakfast bar in Jared's kitchen, Jared's foot hooked around the leg of Jensen's chair. With newspapers spread out in a sea around them they enjoyed sloppy kisses which tasted of coffee and pancakes and each-other.
I'm so whipped, Jared thinks with a huge 'so not thinking unpure thoughts' smirk on his face because even just the idea of seeing Jensen again, all soft warm smile and shining eyes, makes Jared walk a little quicker too and maybe there's a bounce in his step which is only employed when he's thinking about Jensen.
Jared takes the trailer steps two at a time and cracks the door open without knocking, his mouth is already working and ready to bellow "Jen" when he sees them. Jensen and Misha sitting close together on the small sofa and that's fine, Jared decides automatically. They have most of their scenes together anyway so it's no surprise that they perhaps want to spend some time running through their lines or...but then Misha's hands are on Jensen's face, two large palms clutching at Jensen's cheeks in exactly the place where Jared likes his hands to be. Misha is closing his eyes and then he leans in. Jared feels something inside his large manly chest shatter into little tiny broken pieces with extraordinarily sharp edges. He can't bear to watch anymore. Jared is six foot a squllion' with muscles bigger than a Thanksgiving turkey which would feed the entire Padalecki clan but Jared still runs down the steps of Jensen's trailer and away...and yep if she's watching from her little hidey-hole somewhere, Kristin might just have got her scoop right there.
Jared's interview lasts all of ten minutes. Jared can't concentrate, finds himself staring blankly at Kristen's bright red lipstick mouth and when she's presses him for details on the development of Sam's storylines over the upcoming episodes--where Jared would normally fall over himself in a delighted frenzy of eagerness to chat ten to the dozen about his hopes for the character--Jared simply gawped at her for a long minute before saying sharply, "Sam might turn evil or he might have his heart ripped out and stamped on instead."
Jared's done shooting for the day and his not so perfect interview is in the can. Normally when he's done filming, he'll stick around to wait for Jensen. He'll hang out on the set, joking around with the crew and laughing that enormous laugh of his which seems to amuse anyone with ear-shot. He'd sometimes go get a few platefuls of something to eat from the catering tent or watch Jensen film his scenes from the sidelines. But today, Jared decides to go straight home and get himself the hell away from the sight of Jensen-fucking-heart-destroyer-Ackles for awhile.
All this living in each-other's pockets and breathing in each-other's air space isn't doing them or their relationship any good, not to mention the whole Jensen messing around with Misha thing. So Jared decides to go home, hide under his bedcovers for awhile and if he wants to sit in his boxers eating Ben & Jerrys until he's fat and his dumb lactose intolerant stomach is killing him then that's up to him...until he remembers that it's Jensen's home now too and there is no getting away, shit. But Jared still feels totally justified in getting in his car and driving home, without waiting to give Jensen a ride.
XXX
When Jared gets to his house and discovers he's out of Ben & Jerry's, he makes himself waffles and sits cross-legged on the floor of his lounge playing Grand Theft Auto 4 and eating, feeling so miserable that he can't concentrate on the game and just ends up seeing how many stupid pixelated pedestrians he can squish with his stolen car...and if he sees a pedestrian that kinda reminds him of Misha, well, maybe he reverses back and forth over that one a few times too.
Jensen gets home much later than usual, and Jared was starting to get worried until he remembered that he had taken the car and effectively left Jensen stranded on set. The door bangs open and Jared's lip totally doesn't wobble when he wonders how Jensen must have looked riding shotgun in Misha's convertible. "Jare?" Jensen sounds worried, Jared notes with a tiny satisfied smirk. Good.
Jared eats another mouthful of waffle and tries not to care.
Jensen hurries into the lounge and stops short when he sees Jared sitting on the floor, looking miserable and stuffing waffles in his face. "Jared? What the fuck, man? I called your cell like a hundred times...why'd you leave without saying anything?"
Jared stands up, to his full height and glares at Jensen. "I saw you."
"Pretty hard to miss me doofus, I'm with you all the time."
"I saw you with Misha."
"And?" And this is the moment when Jared realizes Jensen should look guilty. By rights Jensen should be on his knees by now with his arms thrown around Jared's legs begging forgiveness. But he isn't, he just looks confused and a little pissy...which on Jensen translates into furrowed brow, slightly downturned mouth oh and hands which are fidgeting at his sides.
"I saw you with him." Jared repeats, sounding lamer and more uncertain by the mili-second.
Jensen raises his fidgeting hands in frustration and waves them around a bit. "Yeah, so I heard and your point is?"
"He had his hands on your face." Jared mutters, getting defensive now because Jensen and Misha were messing around in Jensen's trailer...weren't they?
"Jesus, Jared. I was helping him with a scene."
"A scene where Castiel kisses Dean, yeah, right!" Jared huffs.
"A scene where Cooper Hawk HUGS Claire Bennet." Say what now? Jared lifts his eyebrows and Jensen speaks again. "Misha is auditioning for a walk-on part in Heroes. I said I'd help him through the scene he's been given."
"And you were playing Claire?"
"So, I'm a good actor. Jared, I...I can't believe that you'd think I'd cheat on you."
It's that disappointed look on Jensen's face which kills what's left of Jared's shattered heart. Jared stumbles and stutters and thinks about fetching a mop to sweep up the mess his ruined composure is making on the floor. "It's just you and Misha hang out all the time now and I..."
"Misha's the new guy, he doesn't know everyone like we do and hey...you hang out with him all the time too or was I imagining Misha downing shots with you in Bartello's on Friday night? Anyway I don't know why you're jumping on my back over this when I'm expected to be fine about you and Marco from catering groping each-other last week."
Jared's jaw drops open and he does a good impression of someone trying to catch a fly. "I was choking on a pretzel..." Jared stutters, "Marco was giving me the Heimlich."
Jensen's pissy face returns as he furrows his brow and it disappears again when he decides that maybe that's not such an unlikely story seeing as Jared really likes to try and impress people by showing them how much crap he can fit in his mouth. Which, by the way, is a lot. It makes for some seriously gross meal-times but the best, most enjoyable, blow-jobs Jensen's ever experienced.
"You're an idiot, you know that right?" Jensen says, softening slightly at the sight of the totally miserable expression on Jared's face.
"But I'm an idiot you love?"
"Yep, you're my loveable idiot." Jensen agrees wrapping his arms around Jared's back. "My loveable idiot who's bright orange face is hurting my eyes."
"Oh, fuck you."
"Yeah, that sounds like a plan."
And if Jensen comes with Jared's name on his lips and not Misha's, well, it takes all of Jared's limited self-restraint not to do a little victory dance around the bedroom.
-end-
btw - this is my first attempt at J2 so please be gentle.
On to part two - "In Which Jared Discovers He's Flammable."