Wine Slips In My Mouth Sometimes - Chapter 2 (part 2)
When Jensen gets back to the hospital, he doesn’t know what he will find. A small part of him expects to walk into Jared’s room to see Jared sitting up in the bed, ready to bawl him out for leaving. A dark part of Jensen expects the worst, imagines finding a stripped down empty hospital bed and Jared’s personal belongings, labeled and waiting for him in a sealed plastic bag.
But nothing has changed. Jared is still there, still in the same room, still in the same bed. Still unconscious. Jensen feels a razor-sharp stab of guilt like a knife to the gut because Jared has been lying here all alone for hours and what if he’d have woken up to find nobody waiting for him? What if he’d have died? Jensen swallows dryly as he walks across the length of the small room and flops down heavily into the familiar chair by Jared’s bedside. A nurse wanders in almost straight after and goes over to the bed. She adjusts the bedding, tucking the blankets tighter around Jared’s body before injecting something into his IV and checking the bruising on the back of his hand where the port is imbedded. “You should talk to him.” She says gently, eyes at last lifting from Jared’s lax face to stare at Jensen.
Jensen nods but doesn’t speak; the words he wants to say to Jared are lodged deep in his throat. Every word he needs Jared to hear is buried behind the fresh tears which are aching to get out.
She gives Jensen a kind-hearted smile and bends over Jared’s inert body to flick on the low sallow beam of his bedside lamp. “Well, whether you talk to him or not, I’m sure he knows you’re here.”
Jensen waits until she’s leaves before he shuffles to the edge of his seat. His hand gravitates towards Jared of its own accord, finding its way under Jared’s blanket and then, inside the thin material of his cotton hospital gown. He rests his palm against the skin of Jared’s bare chest, relishing each delicate flutter of his lover’s heartbeat before moving his hand down and splaying out his fingers against the flat plane of Jared’s stomach. He strokes the soft sensitive skin there, his hand rising and falling in time with Jared’s breathing.
Jensen runs his tongue against the back of his teeth. “I fucking miss you, Jare and I need you to wake up, okay? I can’t do this, any of this, without you.”
Jensen stops talking. Jared’s skin is warm. Losing Jared really isn’t something Jensen can cope with thinking about right now.
~0~
Jared wakes up when Jensen’s using the men’s room, which is pretty much to be expected because Jared never does like doing things the easy way. Jensen almost collapses when he returns from the bathroom just in time to see the door to Jared’s room being flung wide open and a flustered looking doctor rushing inside.
By the time the doctor has finished checking Jared’s stats and got him settled again, Jared’s already starting to doze off, feeling the full effects of all the nice drugs the doctor has given him but he’s aware enough to notice it when Jensen slips quietly back into the room.
Jared smiles and immediately warmth seeps into Jensen’s body. He holds out his hand and Jensen takes it, gripping tightly. Jared’s eyelids are fighting a losing battle and Jensen kisses him carefully on the mouth, moaning gently when Jared’s lips start to move with the flow of the kiss. “Sleep. I’m not going anywhere.” Jensen says firmly and Jared nods, eyes fluttering shut, drifting away.
Later that afternoon when Jared wakes, he forces Jensen to go home and get some decent food, take a shower. When Jensen gets back, barely a few hours later, Jared is half-heartedly nibbling on a sandwich from the lunch tray in front of him. “So, it was a drunk driver who almost got you killed?” Jensen asks cautiously, waving a hand in refusal when Jared tries to give him half his sandwich.
“Way to be ironic, right?”
“I don’t-I don’t believe it.”
“You and me both. Dude was blotto on Jagermeister too, some old guy who got laid off at work and was panicking about telling his wife. Why couldn’t I have got some regular drunk? Some corporate asswipe who’d had one too many pinot grigios? Instead I get hit by a guy who kinda looks like my dad and is as blue collar as they come. I...” Jared winces, his hand coming up to clutch at his heavily bandaged side.
“Shit. Should I call somebody?”
“No.” Jared lets out a long breath through clenched teeth, his face is still pale emphasising the purple bruising underneath his eyes and the thin white line of his mouth. They stop talking for awhile and instead communicate in tender touches, Jensen’s fingers carefully trail along Jared’s brow, brushing curls aside as they move down the warm skin of his cheek and rest there for awhile. Jared rubs the back of his fingers against the curve of Jensen’s hipbone, rumpling his t-shirt so that it rides up just a touch.
“I really fucked up, Jay.” Jensen’s says softly. “I thought-I thought...”
“Don’t, Tom’s already told me what happened. I don’t blame you for thinking the worst, it’s not like I haven’t given you good reason.”
“I should never have left, not when...”
“When what?”
“When I fucking love you so damn much. If you’d have died I don’t know what I would have done but Jesus, it would have been ugly.”
Jared bows his head, looking away. “I’ve been thinking, Jen. I don’t want to do this to you anymore. I’m not coping. I haven’t touched a drink, I swear, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to. Some days it’s all I can think about. I-I can’t do this anymore.”
Jensen’s eyes go wide, disbelieving. He didn’t get Jared back only to lose him again. Oh God, no.
~0~
Jared’s bags are sitting by the door and Jensen only draws his attention away from them when he hears the sound of Jared’s feet coming down the stairs. There’s a car due to arrive in less than ten minutes and Jared’s all ready to go. He’s dressed in a pair of comfortable jeans and a fitted pale green t-shirt which shifts and ripples across the muscles on his broad chest like a second skin. He looks good, great even, better than he has done in days, better than he did even before the accident.
“You’re sure this is what you want?” Jensen asks and not for the first time either. He lets his eyes skirt the floor, trying to build up the courage to lift them and face Jared head on. It’s a struggle though especially as he knows without looking that Jared’s eyes are wet. Jared doesn’t answer but he does put his hand to Jensen’s cheek, the pad of his thumb bristling against the sandpaper rough stubble it finds there. “When you get out, I’ll be waiting for you.” Jensen adds.
“Rehab won’t last forever, I’ll be back before shooting starts up again. You won’t even know I’m gone.”
Somehow, Jensen seriously doubts that.
“Just...” Jensen begins, wanting to tell Jared that he shouldn’t worry about the show, shouldn’t worry about anything except getting himself well again. “...I love you,” is what he says instead. He shuffles his feet a little then, feeling awkward he racks his brain for something else to say, for some remarkable Hallmark movie inspired speech that will make the last few difficult weeks up and disappear.
Jared bends his head down, as though he wants to whisper something important into Jensen’s ear but when Jensen leans forward to listen, an earnest expression on his face, Jared simply nibbles gently at his earlobe and cups Jensen’s cock through the thin material of his sweatpants. He squeezes, not enough to hurt but hard enough to make Jensen’s heart start doing the Cha Cha. A car horn honks outside and they both turn their heads to face the door. “I love you too.” Jared says quickly, grin widening to epic cornea-burning proportions as he feels Jensen growing hard in his grip. When Jensen looks back at him, Jared’s eyes are sparkling mischievously in a way which is totally old school Padalecki.
It makes Jensen shivery and so happy to see Jared looking more like his old self again and Jensen’s not even certain any more about how he’s going to walk Jared to the car without pushing him down onto the grass and doing him, right there in amongst the begonias. “F-Fucking tease.”
But Jensen doesn’t get to say more because Jared leans in and kisses him on the mouth. Jensen’s lips part and their tongues start moving in sync and in that moment Jensen can’t help thinking that everything will be just fine between them because for Jensen, Jared’s love has always been more than enough.
~end~
I realize this is somewhat of an open ending, I hadn’t planned on writing more to this story but if the muse hits then...maybe.