J2 Fic. Bars At My Window 6/?
Title: Bars At My Window
Author: Blueeyedliz
Summary: Jared Padalecki, guilty of auto theft, is put away in San Quentin. Jensen Ackles takes it upon himself to instruct the younger man in the brutal protocol of San Quentin and the strategies essential for survival. A friendship born of mutual need ends up becoming much more and one thing they’ll come to learn is that prison is no place for a love story.
Rating: NC/17
Warning, A/N & Disclaimer for this part: As Part One. Please be sure to read the warnings carefully before reading. Giant Yorkshire pudding sized thanks once again to the awesome Heatherofnight, Scarlettraven9 and Amtamburo .
Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Chapter Six
Lockdown means endless games of chess on a board where half the pieces are missing and you’re forced to made do with a diet coke bottle-cap as a stand-in for the white Bishop. It means reading and re-reading the same small selection of books until you can repeat the words without really ever needing to glance down at the page. It also means getting pretty damn close to strangling your cellmate by wrapping their stretched-out women’s pantyhose around their stubby little neck.
“I’ve always want to go to Paris, France. None of the fucktards in here have ever been to Paris, France.” Jared rolls onto his stomach, wiggles around until his head is wedged deep underneath his pillow and tries to pretend he can’t hear Mike telling him the same spiel he’s heard at least ten times before in the last three days. “If I had wings I would be a butterfly and I would fly out the window and across the ocean to Paris. It’s so pretty there and I would land on a beautiful cherry blossom tree on the Champs Elysees and I would watch all the pretty French boys walk by and I’d say ‘hey you, go get momma a café-au-lait and a jelly donut sil-vois-plait.'”
The sound of the cell door clicking as someone turns a key in the heavy lock wakes Jared from a light snooze and he risks a peek out from under his pillow, groaning as a blinding flashlight beam illuminates his face. “Padalecki, get dressed. Lieutenant Hornby wants to see you.”
Jared jumps down from the top bunk and pulls on his shirt, fastening the buttons with sleep-dazed fumbling fingers as the sour-faced guard leads him out of the cell and away down the tier. He's not certain but he thinks he can still hear Mike mumbling to himself about doing something with a baguette to a French boy that sounds decidedly R-rated. Jared's forehead creases in confusion when instead of heading for the administration buildings, the guard takes a sharp right turn, leading them towards the deserted mess hall and then through into the dimly lit grotty back kitchen.
Sitting alone at a small wooden table, right there in the industrial sized kitchen, is Jensen. There are five or six guards as well as the Lieutenant gathered around another table, talking and busily eating. But Jared's eyes home in on Jensen and Jensen only. Jensen winks when he spots Jared and motions for the younger man to come join him. Jared takes a seat and gives Jensen a look of sheer wide-eyed bewilderment as the guard who collected him from his cell puts down a plate piled high with food on the table in front of him. Jared wants to say what the fuck? but all he can manage is a big smile which carves deep dimples in both of his cheeks.
“You won’t see a steak like that in prison unless it’s in a magazine ad.” Jensen says enthusiastically nodding at Jared’s plate and it's the first time Jared has noticed the way Jensen's voice slides into a soft Texas twang when he's in high spirits.
It sounds good to Jared's ears, actually it sounds friggin' fantastic. Achingly familiar in a way which makes him want to jump Jensen right there and then, mindless of their armed guard company. He wants to mouth words into Jensen's ear that are so downright filthy it would send his momma running off in search of the nearest bar of soap. Instead Jared settles for continuing to alternate between gawping and grinning at Jensen like a half-demented lunatic. The surprised delight on Jared's face seems to be exactly what Jensen was hoping for.
“You really do run this prison, don’t you?” Jared says finally casting his eyes down to take a good long look at his food and hot damn, the steak really does look fucking amazing.
“They had to feed the emergency crew so the watch commander got permission to open up the boxes...and when the boxes are open, everybody eats. Hurry up and tuck in before it gets cold.” Jensen gestures at Jared's untouched plate with a loaded fork.
"Now if I could get a bottle of Bud I'd be really impressed." Jared shakes his head and still lost in a whirlwind of utter incomprehension he uses his fingers to tear a chunk from the sirloin in front of him. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, I didn’t exactly cook it myself.” Jensen grunts around a mouthful of greens.
“Yeah but it's because of you that I’m even sitting here...and you might have saved Mike’s life.”
“What?”
“Forget it…..Jen, I’ve missed you.” Jensen raises one eyebrow at the unmistakable sentiment wrapped around Jared's words. “Really missed you.”
Jensen hurries to fill his mouth with a chunk of dry bread, anything to try and disguise the fact that Jared really fucking gets to him, touches places inside that used to be numb. "Well don't go telling everybody, but I've missed you too." He chews his mouthful slowly and swallows before leaning in towards Jared with sombre eyes. "Jare, you could have been killed during the riot."
Jared starts to shake his head in denial but Jensen presses a finger to his lips to shush him. "You know the guy, the one who broke the strike line?" Jared nods. "He got stomped to death. He was due to be released today, he was only trying to get his work papers signed. He wasn't a scab."
"Jen..." Jared grimaces, finding chewing his steak more difficult now that he has the memory of that man's dying scream ringing in his ears.
"Four men got shot, one is in the infirmary but the other three died. I-I couldn't take it if something bad happened to you again. When Psycho Jeff...hurt you, I was barely keeping it together, man. I was ready to rip him to pieces."
"What do you want me to say? I'm here, you're here, that's the shitty hand we've been dealt Jensen."
"I don't want you to be here anymore."
Jared huffs out a breath as he leans back in his seat. "I don't want to be here either but I want to be with you and if the only way I can have that is by serving my time then that's what I'm going to do."
Jensen looks down at his hands, slides his tongue in and out between his lips a few times before he looks up, staring intently into Jared's hazel eyes. "I don't want you to be here...because I want you to leave with me."
Jared stops eating, grips his plastic knife so tight his knuckles whiten. The piece of tender steak in his mouth suddenly becomes an impossibly hard lump to swallow. "Don't do that to me, don't yank my chain. Don't joke about-"
"I'm deadly serious." Jensen says jackrabbit quick and although Jared looks for it, he can't find even the slightest hint of humor in Jensen's face.
"Padalecki, Ackles, party-time's over. We've got to take you back to your cells before Warden Kripke starts getting a sniff of all this cow we're cooking up." Lieutenant Hornby gives both men a wry smile as he observes the emotionally charged looks being exchanged between them. "I can’t believe I let Jensen convince me to let this little reunion go ahead but you're breaking my heart here. You two really have it bad, don't you? Don't fret, lockdown won't last forever."
Jared stands up as a short balding guard puts a firm hand on his shoulder and begins to steer him in the direction of the door. "Remember what I said." Jensen whispers, standing up too as he wipes his greasy hands clean on the front of his pants.
Leave…Escape? That's just plain crazy! But as Jared walks slowly back towards his cell he knows he won't be able to think about anything else.
-0-
Lockdown allows for exercise time, three short half-hour stretches in the yard per day. Given the segregated nature of lockdown, the breaks are organised so that the cellblocks are released for exercise separately. Jared relishes the chance to build up a sweat and pounds the yard with his ridiculously long legs. He runs laps, fifteen to twenty, sometimes he even has the added bonus of Mike panting and whining in his ear as his cellmate struggles to keep up.
Jared tries not to think too hard when he's running, tries not to get fixated on the idea of escaping with Jensen, because escaping is impossible, isn't it? It's something that happens in movies not real life. Although for Jared it turns out the impossible task is trying not to think about it.
When Jared sees Jensen again it's been four long days since their meeting in the mess hall kitchen. Jensen is already out in the yard, standing dead centre of a huddle of his usual cohorts Tommy, Chris, Chad and Steve.
Jared walks straight over and is almost knocked off his feet by the crushing hug Jensen jumps forward to give him. It isn't that he wasn't expecting a warm welcome, it's simply that it still turns his insides into a big puddle of mush to realize that Jensen doesn't think twice about showing how much he cares about him. Jensen bites softly at his earlobe as he pulls away from the hug and Jared is forced to try and cover his gasp with a hasty cough. The second Jensen has stepped back, Chad moves in for a hug too. Jared can't help raising his eyebrows and laughing as he pats Chad's back and smirks at Jensen over the top of Chad's head. "Jeez Badass, let the man breathe. It's been like, what, a week?" Tommy grins, shaking his head.
Chad lets go with a rueful shrug and gives Tommy a hot look. "Well I was getting so sick of your gutter-trash company, it's nice to be back amongst civilised folk."
"So I'm not civilised now?" Tommy grabs Chad in a headlock and gives him a brutal nuggie. Chad's face is flushed bright red when Tommy finally lets go.
Jensen puts a hand on Jared's arm and tugs at his sleeve. "We need to…talk."
Jared feels heat pooling in his stomach, which then quickly starts flooding downwards towards his groin. "Your place or mine?" he whispers.
Jensen smiles, lips curling upwards in a grin hotter than a Texas summer before yanking Jared in the direction of the East cellhouse entrance.
"Catch you later, fellas." Jared manages to squeeze in a hasty wave as he lets Jensen drag him away so fast that Jared is sure his feet leave the ground.
-0-
It’s only been four days, four days since he last saw Jensen but Jared is so desperate to touch him and as they enter into Jensen’s cell, his hands are trembling.
The moment-the very second-they are safely inside the cell Jared slams Jensen against the wall and presses their bodies so close together you couldn’t slip a nickel in-between them without difficulty.
“G-God.” Jensen hisses as Jared licks a line down his neck.
“Can I?” Jared asks, his fingers already heading for Jensen’s zipper. Jensen barely manages a tight nod as Jared opens his fly and wraps a hand around his rock-hard dick.
Jared goes down on his knees and it takes all of Jensen’s self-control not to come right then, looking down at the crown of tousled chestnut hair framing such a beautiful face. Jared doesn’t hesitate to take Jensen’s cock in his mouth, pink lips working hard and Jensen loses himself in the pleasurable shockwaves of heat which pulse through his body as Jared’s head moves back and forth. Then, as Jared’s fingers caress pale thigh before moving on to the silken skin of his balls, Jensen comes hard and fast, cracking his head back against the wall with a dull thud.
Jared sits back on his heels, a soft smile quirking at his lips as he wipes his mouth with the back of one hand.
Jensen’s legs feel weak, he’s spent but even as he wipes his spit and come slick cock clean with an old t-shirt he still asks “want me to get you off?” and his voice is gravel rough and low.
Jared shakes his head before guiding Jensen towards the bed, quickly settling down himself to nuzzle his face into the hollow of Jensen's neck. “I just want to lie here for awhile, okay?”
“Yeah, that’s plenty okay.”
Jared presses his face closer into the warmth of Jensen’s skin and his body goes lax, melting into the mattress. He wraps one arm around Jensen’s back, letting his fingers travel under Jensen’s t-shirt so that they can stroke the smooth flesh. A beaming smile quickly lights his face when his fingers reach a particularly ticklish spot and Jensen starts to squirm to get away, snorting out a muffled laugh into his pillow.
Jensen goes quiet then and Jared notices the gentle shift of muscle as his body tenses. It’s a sign that Jared has come to recognize whenever Jensen has something to say which he finds difficult to discuss. Jared lies still, not wanting to do anything which might deter Jensen from opening up and he waits patiently as Jensen starts to talk, “It’s so different for me now. I mean, I love the guys. I love Tommy, Chris, Steve and Chad but not in the same way that I love y....” Jensen pauses and sighs heavily before speaking again. “It reminds me that I can still have something good, that I’m not all bad.”
Jared tries to take it all in because moments like these are rare but his brain is stuck on Jensen’s attempt to say I love you. “I...you know how I feel about you, right? You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. You’re far from being bad, Jen.”
“Please be sure to tell that to the Warden...” Jensen mutters and although Jared can’t see his face, he can tell Jensen is smiling. “I’m going to miss the guys." Jensen adds quietly but Jared hears it.
Jared shifts his head back so that he can study Jensen’s eyes. "You meant it, what you said? You want to escape? What, are we going to climb over the fence using some bed sheets tied together? Jensen, it's a pipe dream. Nobody escapes from prison, not really.” Jared grinds the heels of his hands into his eyes, face suddenly bone-tired and sad. “Please, I can't take it when you talk about getting out of here because it's the only thing I think about when I'm not thinking about you."
"Nobody's tried it for awhile which means things will have grown slack."
"Nobody's tried what for awhile?"
"Jare, there's been escapes before. Two which were successful that I know of.”
"And the ones which weren't successful?"
"Tower guards often fall asleep, sometimes guys in here get so freaked at being caged up that they don't plan an escape, they just go for it. They cut or climb the wire...then they get shot down."
Jared frowns, thinking about the strike leader he watched take a bullet. "I don’t want to talk about escaping."
Jensen clearly wants to protest but as Jared starts to draw off his pants Jensen's mind goes blank and when Jared’s large hands skim across his skin, perhaps he sees a starburst of dazzlingly white lights too.
-0-
I thought you more than deserved a little bit of schmoop before Part Seven.
