(no subject)
So, usually at this point in a relationship, I'm ready to drop whomever. Only one relationship in my life has not been that way, and of course, it was the one relationship that I wasn't treated how I should've been. This relationship is no different. There is a difference though, and that difference is, I want this to work.
At this point, Chris drives me up the wall, most of the time. It's not because he's too nice though, it's because, hes too arrogant, cocky, too emotional and way too sensative.
His arrogance is something I have much difficulty handling. It's not arrogance in a positive way, because I promise you, if it were, it would be something I could handle. He knows all and knows how horribly everything will turn out. Always turning his nose down at positive things happening in peoples lives. Not people he knows of course, but yet, the people who are closest to me. Always something negative to say about my best friend/godchilds mom's way of life. How her kids are horrible and how they'll end up with nothing because he works at nothing. How my future cousin in law's new job isn't as great as he made it sound. So? He's happy about something, let him enjoy it. All kinds of different things and yes he knows mostly of these peoples intimate details about their life because I share it with him, but in no way does that give him the right to belittle them or look down at them, or even judge them. I don't even do that. I look for the best in all of them, all the time. It probably is because I care, but that should be enough for him to do the same, right? Am I dreaming? I don't think so. He should care about something, as much as, if not more than I do, because he cares for me, correct?
He's cocky. That goes back onto the arrogance. The I'm holier than thou attitude that I hate. Yes, Glenn was cocky and arrogant, but he didn't belittle my family/friends. He had his own reasons for not liking the people he did belittle and it wasn't based on what I had said about them. He judged based on his own encounters with these people.
Maybe it's because Chris never wants to hang out or do anything with my friends. Maybe I'm resenting him for the fact that I have completely abandoned my friends and I feel horrible about it. I don't know really, but its bothering me.
He's sensativeness is also getting to me. Yes be sensative, but don't take offense to certain things. Don't get all upset because I want to go home after spending 48 hours straight with you. I too like my space and though you may no, respect that I do. It's nothing personal against you, but I haven't spoken to my mom since I quit my job, except one time we talked for five minutes. Why is it that I haven't? Because she works til 4 oclock our time and she doesn't really want to speak on the phone until about 7 our time and by then, I'm with Chris.
I want to get a job, of course, but this time, something nonstressful that I like doing. ie: waitressing. I loved it and I'd like to go back. I told him this and he got all upset because I'd be working nights and weekends. So I wouldn't see him as much. Maybe that's good? I don't know really and maybe I'm being selfish or maybe I'm banking on this to fail, so in some sick and twisted way, I'd end up with my ex again.
I cannot get him out of my head since he went back to jail. I don't know why and its not really of getting back with him, just moreso worried about him and its not something I can talk to Chris about and I don't have the time to talk to my friends about it because I'm always with Chris, so its always bottled up.
I'm stressed, depressed and just worn out. I don't know what to do but I want Chris and I to work because I know that he is good for me. I just wish I could tell him everything I'm thinking without hurting his feelings, but its impossible, he's too sensative.
Wooooooooo felt good to get all of that off my chest!
At this point, Chris drives me up the wall, most of the time. It's not because he's too nice though, it's because, hes too arrogant, cocky, too emotional and way too sensative.
His arrogance is something I have much difficulty handling. It's not arrogance in a positive way, because I promise you, if it were, it would be something I could handle. He knows all and knows how horribly everything will turn out. Always turning his nose down at positive things happening in peoples lives. Not people he knows of course, but yet, the people who are closest to me. Always something negative to say about my best friend/godchilds mom's way of life. How her kids are horrible and how they'll end up with nothing because he works at nothing. How my future cousin in law's new job isn't as great as he made it sound. So? He's happy about something, let him enjoy it. All kinds of different things and yes he knows mostly of these peoples intimate details about their life because I share it with him, but in no way does that give him the right to belittle them or look down at them, or even judge them. I don't even do that. I look for the best in all of them, all the time. It probably is because I care, but that should be enough for him to do the same, right? Am I dreaming? I don't think so. He should care about something, as much as, if not more than I do, because he cares for me, correct?
He's cocky. That goes back onto the arrogance. The I'm holier than thou attitude that I hate. Yes, Glenn was cocky and arrogant, but he didn't belittle my family/friends. He had his own reasons for not liking the people he did belittle and it wasn't based on what I had said about them. He judged based on his own encounters with these people.
Maybe it's because Chris never wants to hang out or do anything with my friends. Maybe I'm resenting him for the fact that I have completely abandoned my friends and I feel horrible about it. I don't know really, but its bothering me.
He's sensativeness is also getting to me. Yes be sensative, but don't take offense to certain things. Don't get all upset because I want to go home after spending 48 hours straight with you. I too like my space and though you may no, respect that I do. It's nothing personal against you, but I haven't spoken to my mom since I quit my job, except one time we talked for five minutes. Why is it that I haven't? Because she works til 4 oclock our time and she doesn't really want to speak on the phone until about 7 our time and by then, I'm with Chris.
I want to get a job, of course, but this time, something nonstressful that I like doing. ie: waitressing. I loved it and I'd like to go back. I told him this and he got all upset because I'd be working nights and weekends. So I wouldn't see him as much. Maybe that's good? I don't know really and maybe I'm being selfish or maybe I'm banking on this to fail, so in some sick and twisted way, I'd end up with my ex again.
I cannot get him out of my head since he went back to jail. I don't know why and its not really of getting back with him, just moreso worried about him and its not something I can talk to Chris about and I don't have the time to talk to my friends about it because I'm always with Chris, so its always bottled up.
I'm stressed, depressed and just worn out. I don't know what to do but I want Chris and I to work because I know that he is good for me. I just wish I could tell him everything I'm thinking without hurting his feelings, but its impossible, he's too sensative.
Wooooooooo felt good to get all of that off my chest!