Lies as smooth as silk - rant

[blueeyedchibi]

My hate never rests, and my soul is like my appendix- I never use it. I'm only a shadow of who I used to be: sweet, loving. I've asked myself many times if it's really possible to have been manipulated and twisted so swiftly, swayed by power and longing, or if it's just a faze. Or could it be true that I'm just infulenced much too easily by power and something that is appealing to my eye? I don't like to hug people anymore, and I don't like to talk to them. I converse with seldom who intriuge me, such as a girl I met recently. I was drawn to her. My friends are confused as fuck seeing as I skip sitting with them at lunch in the cafeteria, opting to sit alone in the library, writing. I never sign on to msn, and I leave my cellphone off, ignoring texts and calls. I just don't care. I'm completely anti-social and I'm quite sure I have a bad condition of 'two-faced bitch.' Everyone knows me as a sweetie; never done drugs, never drank, but when no one is around I am a fucking unbelievable force. I leave scars when I'm mad, as I always feel the need to do something drastic when my temper flares. I've vowed never to have another boyfriend, and to never get married. Children are out of the question, and emotions are weak. I'm beginning to sound like a cartoon villian, and I know it. I told a friend once that I wrote about dark things. She replied, "Like death?" I could only laugh. No. It's all like, fucking rape and murder and suicide and emotional torture. What the fuck, I know. I'm different, and I wonder what's happened.

BTW, Yami Bakura is lovelovelove.