Merlin fanfic: Couldn't let you die
Title: Couldn't let you die
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin and don't make any profit with it. It's just for fun
Note: I dedicate this story to Ailendolin, because she gave me the idea for it in the first place. ^^ And also thanks for beta'ing it!
Couldn't let you die
Failed. He had failed his destiny to protect Arthur from friend and foe. No, don't worry, the future king wasn't dead - he was fine. It was his own life which was doomed to end here and now. Merlin had been sentenced to death for practicing magic by Uther Pendragon, King of Camelot. That was the king's way of saying thank you for rescuing his son's live. Those words sound bitter, don't they? But don't get it wrong, Merlin would die a thousand times without batting an eye if that meant Arthur was save and sound. The young Pendragon meant too much to him that he could endure the pain to watch him die. As long as he was alive, he belonged to Arthur with heart and soul, his clumsy and cheeky servant who made the prince frown so many times. But now it would end. He had never imagined it to be like this.
Rough hands pushed him towards the stake. He could hear Arthur's angry voice, telling the executioner to deal fairly with him.
He hurt so much, not because he was in that much pain, no, it was because he had to leave Arthur. Who would protect him from now on? Who would make sure he wasn't behaving like a prat?
Fear welled up in him, like a wild fire would spread in a dried out forest. And with the fear came panic, the herald of terror.
His executioner pushed him painfully against the post of his stake, pressing his hand at the back of the post and tying them together. The rope cut into his sore flesh, but he refused to cry out. Merlin looked at the sky instead. It was clouded and dark, but yet there were some gaps where sunbeams came through. The fading sunlight was reflected in his eyes and made them glow in a deep blue. Merlin blinked and turned his head and looked at the people who had gathered to watch him burn. There they were, his friends: Gaius, who was like a father to him. The old man's face was lined with pain and tiredness. It hurt the sorcerer that Gaius had to watch him burn, he wished he hadn't come, knowing how painful it had to be for him. Next to him stood Gwen. Her face was pale and stained with tears. She had lost her father, Morgana and now she was losing another friend.
And of course there was Arthur Pendragon, clad in his chain mail and the red tunic beneath it. His face was unreadable. What was he thinking about? Merlin wondered if Arthur had forgiven him for lying to him. He hoped he had. He wished he had, he wished for it so much.
The bells started chiming. The time had come. The executioner started the fire along the edge of the stake. Smoke was filling the air, stinging his eyes. He could feel the heat of the fire, the heat which would swallow him slowly. He watched the flames for some time, how they came closer and closer. The heat was getting painful and then he could feel how fire hands reached out for the fabric of his trousers. Merlin wouldn't scream, he wouldn't give this satisfaction to Uther and cause his friends pain by hearing him suffer.
He looked back at Arthur, who seemed to be calm outwardly, but if you knew him well enough you could see how upset and torn apart he was on the inside. Their eyes met and neither of them could look away, because they were telling what they hadn't been able to say to each other. He hadn't seen Arthur since his sentence, they hadn't gotten another chance to talk. On the one hand he was glad about it, but on the other side he wished he could have talked to him for one last time. To tell him good-bye to tell him he shouldn't cry, to tell him he meant everything to him.
Merlin smiled slightly at him, telling Arthur that it wasn't his fault, that it was ok, that he shouldn't worry.
Arthur's eyes glazed over from emotion. Merlin could almost feel the young Pendragon breaking. His eyes were pleading, searching for forgiveness. Of course he forgave him.
Merlin bit his lower lip when the fabric of his clothes caught fire. Soon it would be over. He took a deep breath, trying to forget the pain. He couldn't. He closed his eyes, breathing unevenly. Inside his head he was screaming from the pain, but he didn't want to give in. No, he wouldn't scream. He struggled against the bonds, but they didn't slacken. It was hopeless.
He opened his eyes again, looking at Arthur's troubled face, the unshed tears in his eyes - and that was the moment Merlin began to cry silently. He was crying because of the pain, and even more crying for Arthur. The prince already had had to watch so many people die, he didn't want that he blamed himself for his death too. Because it wasn't Arthur's fault, it had been Merlin's choice and he would do it again. Silent tears streamed down his cheeks, just to be swallowed by the fire, but still he didn't make a sound.
Eventually the tongues of fire started to lick on his skin. There was a noise, but he couldn't tell what it was. A few seconds later he understood that he was making the noise himself. That it was him who was screaming. He couldn't tell when he had begun to do it. And then it was over.
Arthur watched the flames slowly moving towards his servant, setting his clothes on fire. He could see the fear in Merlin's eyes, the panic before he had started crying. God, the sight broke his heart! He couldn't bear it to see him like that. It tore him apart!
He had begged his father to spare Merlin's life for his sake, but the king had ignored him and had shoved him out of his way. Uther's hatred for magic had made him merciless. Merlin was a sorcerer, so there was no other option for Uther than sentence him to death. Arthur hadn't given up till Uther had thrown him into the cells to think about his behaviour. After all, Merlin was just a servant.
But Merlin was the closest person to what other people called a friend. It wasn't fair that he had to die because he had damned the consequences to save him or because his idiotic servant thought that Arthur's life was more important than his own. So how could he not blame himself for that? He was going to kill Merlin, he would be responsible for his death.
A piercing scream brought him back to reality. Merlin's clothes were halfway on fire, flames licking hungrily on his pale skin. Arthur clenched and unclenched his fists, he took a deep breath. He couldn't bear it anymore. He wished he couldn't hear the screaming, wished he would go deaf for a moment. He closed his eyes, feeling that he was close to tears. He couldn't let his father see him like that. But closing his eyes wasn't helping much either. He kept seeing his memories with Merlin, his smiling face. He opened his eyes again, listening to Merlin's screams of agony. And then something snapped in Arthur, he had made a decision. He damned the consequences.
With a battle cry like scream he ran towards the stake, pulling his dagger out of his belt in the same motion. His eyes were fixed on Merlin, never letting him out of his sight. Then he jumped on the stake. He could hear the peoples shocked gasps of the people and Uther's angry and shocked order to get him out of the fire. He didn't care. He felt the heat on his skin, the pain of the tongues of fire on his hands and legs. With a quick strike of his dagger, the prince cut through Merlin's bonds. The young sorcerer was semiconscious from the pain. Merlin moaned weakly when the bonds didn't keep him up anymore and tilted forwards. Arthur caught him quickly in his arms and pulled him with him from the stake, making sure his servant landed on him and didn't hit the ground at full tilt. He could hear a muffled cry from Merlin, who was still on fire. He tried to choke them with his bare hands, ignoring the pain his actions were causing. Those scars would never fade, but he couldn't care less. Knights threw water over them, extinguishing the remaining flames. Suddenly he could feel Merlin clinging to him softly, his forehead resting on the prince's chest. He was trembling like a leaf, not just from the cold water, also from pain, weakness and fear. It was heart-breaking. Carefully he wrapped an arm around Merlin, making sure he didn't touch any of his burns. The sorcerer had a big one on his back and some smaller ones on his legs, but otherwise he was fine. He hadn't been too long in the fire, just a few seconds which had undoubtedly felt like an eternity.
People were still screaming. Uther came over to him and tried to pull him away from Merlin, but he slapped the king's hand away angrily and tightened his grip on his manservant. His other hand laid on the top of Merlin's head and he was running his fingers soothingly through his hair.
„It's alright, I've got you. Nobody is going to hurt you, you are safe now,“ Arthur whispered comfortingly into Merlin's ear, over and over again like some sort of mantra.
His words seemed to help, Merlin relaxed under his touch.
„Arthur,“ he heard Merlin's scared and hoarse whisper.
„Shh, I'm here. Don't worry. Go to sleep, I'll bring you to my chambers. Gaius will take care of you and you will be fine in no time. You'll see.“
Arthur rested his head on Merlin's.
„Thank you...“ Merlin mumbled, before losing consciousness, delivering him from the pain.
Arthur sighed in relief and smiled sadly, letting a single tear run down his cheek. Everything was going to be alright.
Fin
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin and don't make any profit with it. It's just for fun
Note: I dedicate this story to Ailendolin, because she gave me the idea for it in the first place. ^^ And also thanks for beta'ing it!
Couldn't let you die
Failed. He had failed his destiny to protect Arthur from friend and foe. No, don't worry, the future king wasn't dead - he was fine. It was his own life which was doomed to end here and now. Merlin had been sentenced to death for practicing magic by Uther Pendragon, King of Camelot. That was the king's way of saying thank you for rescuing his son's live. Those words sound bitter, don't they? But don't get it wrong, Merlin would die a thousand times without batting an eye if that meant Arthur was save and sound. The young Pendragon meant too much to him that he could endure the pain to watch him die. As long as he was alive, he belonged to Arthur with heart and soul, his clumsy and cheeky servant who made the prince frown so many times. But now it would end. He had never imagined it to be like this.
Rough hands pushed him towards the stake. He could hear Arthur's angry voice, telling the executioner to deal fairly with him.
He hurt so much, not because he was in that much pain, no, it was because he had to leave Arthur. Who would protect him from now on? Who would make sure he wasn't behaving like a prat?
Fear welled up in him, like a wild fire would spread in a dried out forest. And with the fear came panic, the herald of terror.
His executioner pushed him painfully against the post of his stake, pressing his hand at the back of the post and tying them together. The rope cut into his sore flesh, but he refused to cry out. Merlin looked at the sky instead. It was clouded and dark, but yet there were some gaps where sunbeams came through. The fading sunlight was reflected in his eyes and made them glow in a deep blue. Merlin blinked and turned his head and looked at the people who had gathered to watch him burn. There they were, his friends: Gaius, who was like a father to him. The old man's face was lined with pain and tiredness. It hurt the sorcerer that Gaius had to watch him burn, he wished he hadn't come, knowing how painful it had to be for him. Next to him stood Gwen. Her face was pale and stained with tears. She had lost her father, Morgana and now she was losing another friend.
And of course there was Arthur Pendragon, clad in his chain mail and the red tunic beneath it. His face was unreadable. What was he thinking about? Merlin wondered if Arthur had forgiven him for lying to him. He hoped he had. He wished he had, he wished for it so much.
The bells started chiming. The time had come. The executioner started the fire along the edge of the stake. Smoke was filling the air, stinging his eyes. He could feel the heat of the fire, the heat which would swallow him slowly. He watched the flames for some time, how they came closer and closer. The heat was getting painful and then he could feel how fire hands reached out for the fabric of his trousers. Merlin wouldn't scream, he wouldn't give this satisfaction to Uther and cause his friends pain by hearing him suffer.
He looked back at Arthur, who seemed to be calm outwardly, but if you knew him well enough you could see how upset and torn apart he was on the inside. Their eyes met and neither of them could look away, because they were telling what they hadn't been able to say to each other. He hadn't seen Arthur since his sentence, they hadn't gotten another chance to talk. On the one hand he was glad about it, but on the other side he wished he could have talked to him for one last time. To tell him good-bye to tell him he shouldn't cry, to tell him he meant everything to him.
Merlin smiled slightly at him, telling Arthur that it wasn't his fault, that it was ok, that he shouldn't worry.
Arthur's eyes glazed over from emotion. Merlin could almost feel the young Pendragon breaking. His eyes were pleading, searching for forgiveness. Of course he forgave him.
Merlin bit his lower lip when the fabric of his clothes caught fire. Soon it would be over. He took a deep breath, trying to forget the pain. He couldn't. He closed his eyes, breathing unevenly. Inside his head he was screaming from the pain, but he didn't want to give in. No, he wouldn't scream. He struggled against the bonds, but they didn't slacken. It was hopeless.
He opened his eyes again, looking at Arthur's troubled face, the unshed tears in his eyes - and that was the moment Merlin began to cry silently. He was crying because of the pain, and even more crying for Arthur. The prince already had had to watch so many people die, he didn't want that he blamed himself for his death too. Because it wasn't Arthur's fault, it had been Merlin's choice and he would do it again. Silent tears streamed down his cheeks, just to be swallowed by the fire, but still he didn't make a sound.
Eventually the tongues of fire started to lick on his skin. There was a noise, but he couldn't tell what it was. A few seconds later he understood that he was making the noise himself. That it was him who was screaming. He couldn't tell when he had begun to do it. And then it was over.
Arthur watched the flames slowly moving towards his servant, setting his clothes on fire. He could see the fear in Merlin's eyes, the panic before he had started crying. God, the sight broke his heart! He couldn't bear it to see him like that. It tore him apart!
He had begged his father to spare Merlin's life for his sake, but the king had ignored him and had shoved him out of his way. Uther's hatred for magic had made him merciless. Merlin was a sorcerer, so there was no other option for Uther than sentence him to death. Arthur hadn't given up till Uther had thrown him into the cells to think about his behaviour. After all, Merlin was just a servant.
But Merlin was the closest person to what other people called a friend. It wasn't fair that he had to die because he had damned the consequences to save him or because his idiotic servant thought that Arthur's life was more important than his own. So how could he not blame himself for that? He was going to kill Merlin, he would be responsible for his death.
A piercing scream brought him back to reality. Merlin's clothes were halfway on fire, flames licking hungrily on his pale skin. Arthur clenched and unclenched his fists, he took a deep breath. He couldn't bear it anymore. He wished he couldn't hear the screaming, wished he would go deaf for a moment. He closed his eyes, feeling that he was close to tears. He couldn't let his father see him like that. But closing his eyes wasn't helping much either. He kept seeing his memories with Merlin, his smiling face. He opened his eyes again, listening to Merlin's screams of agony. And then something snapped in Arthur, he had made a decision. He damned the consequences.
With a battle cry like scream he ran towards the stake, pulling his dagger out of his belt in the same motion. His eyes were fixed on Merlin, never letting him out of his sight. Then he jumped on the stake. He could hear the peoples shocked gasps of the people and Uther's angry and shocked order to get him out of the fire. He didn't care. He felt the heat on his skin, the pain of the tongues of fire on his hands and legs. With a quick strike of his dagger, the prince cut through Merlin's bonds. The young sorcerer was semiconscious from the pain. Merlin moaned weakly when the bonds didn't keep him up anymore and tilted forwards. Arthur caught him quickly in his arms and pulled him with him from the stake, making sure his servant landed on him and didn't hit the ground at full tilt. He could hear a muffled cry from Merlin, who was still on fire. He tried to choke them with his bare hands, ignoring the pain his actions were causing. Those scars would never fade, but he couldn't care less. Knights threw water over them, extinguishing the remaining flames. Suddenly he could feel Merlin clinging to him softly, his forehead resting on the prince's chest. He was trembling like a leaf, not just from the cold water, also from pain, weakness and fear. It was heart-breaking. Carefully he wrapped an arm around Merlin, making sure he didn't touch any of his burns. The sorcerer had a big one on his back and some smaller ones on his legs, but otherwise he was fine. He hadn't been too long in the fire, just a few seconds which had undoubtedly felt like an eternity.
People were still screaming. Uther came over to him and tried to pull him away from Merlin, but he slapped the king's hand away angrily and tightened his grip on his manservant. His other hand laid on the top of Merlin's head and he was running his fingers soothingly through his hair.
„It's alright, I've got you. Nobody is going to hurt you, you are safe now,“ Arthur whispered comfortingly into Merlin's ear, over and over again like some sort of mantra.
His words seemed to help, Merlin relaxed under his touch.
„Arthur,“ he heard Merlin's scared and hoarse whisper.
„Shh, I'm here. Don't worry. Go to sleep, I'll bring you to my chambers. Gaius will take care of you and you will be fine in no time. You'll see.“
Arthur rested his head on Merlin's.
„Thank you...“ Merlin mumbled, before losing consciousness, delivering him from the pain.
Arthur sighed in relief and smiled sadly, letting a single tear run down his cheek. Everything was going to be alright.
Fin