hurting
im hurting pretty bad right now. tonight was a cool night helping me get my mind off of things. i havnt slept yet which is cool because i dont have to worry about school work or homework tomorrow. last thing i expected to be doing tonight was to still be up at five in the morning sitting in celticfaierie's living room updating my journal. jeruals is snoring on the floor and a passed out drunk guy upstairs. im totally glad i came to athens tonight. i got to reconnect with an old friend who i havnt talked to in too long. and had my first bar hopping experience a great one. i only had one drink tonight and i realized that the bar scene is definetly not my thing it was really cool to experience. meet some pretty cool people too.
i guess im hurting so bad is because ive really thrown myself into school and work and have not let myself think about the break up. a cool thing is that i finished my atec class two weeks early and i get to sleep in my next two fridays. i know from experience that God will see me through this but it still really hurts having to go through everything. the worst thing that i realized is that i lost my best friend. i didnt even realzie that we had become not only g/f b/f but she had in fact become my best friend. i hate this crap.
to a large degree it is my fault where we are and where i'am. i desperately wish i was in another point in my life right now. to be at a point where i know i have become successful and not have these constsnt doubts that i will always be a failure. i hate how i honestly believe that about myself. i know i can succeed and im doing good in school but im still going nowhere really fast. you had every right to leave me and you didnt. i just wish i can not feel this pain so that i can move on. and not have to dwell on everything.
i guess im hurting so bad is because ive really thrown myself into school and work and have not let myself think about the break up. a cool thing is that i finished my atec class two weeks early and i get to sleep in my next two fridays. i know from experience that God will see me through this but it still really hurts having to go through everything. the worst thing that i realized is that i lost my best friend. i didnt even realzie that we had become not only g/f b/f but she had in fact become my best friend. i hate this crap.
to a large degree it is my fault where we are and where i'am. i desperately wish i was in another point in my life right now. to be at a point where i know i have become successful and not have these constsnt doubts that i will always be a failure. i hate how i honestly believe that about myself. i know i can succeed and im doing good in school but im still going nowhere really fast. you had every right to leave me and you didnt. i just wish i can not feel this pain so that i can move on. and not have to dwell on everything.