Fighting For It ...
I recently read an article on relationships and one of the quotes really got me thinking ...
“I often confuse “fighting for it” with fighting for a person. Therein lies the misconception: To fight for a relationship should involve both parties actively trying to make it work. So often, however, the fight is one-sided, with someone struggling to hold on to a person instead of a relationship. And once you’ve started down that path, it’s hard to find the perspective to evaluate your actions with a clear head and an open mind. “
This quote struck a chord with me. When it comes to relationships, it is hard to evaluate your actions with your mind when your heart is so heavily invested in the other person. The quote reminded me how, in the past, I have “fought for a person” instead of both of us “fighting for it.” Relationships need both parties to make it work. I was guilty of this. I held on to her because I enjoyed her presence in my life, yet our relationship wasn’t worth fighting for. There were many factors as to why it didn’t work, but in the end she didn’t want to “complicate” her already complicated life.
I still value her presence in my life. However, it is a hard struggle to care about someone deeply who you can’t be in a relationship with. You have to move on, as hard as that may sound. To move on from this person, you will have to take your emotions out of it and use only your mind. By using your mind and your heart, hopefully, you will find someone who will put in the same amount of effort as you to maintain the relationship. My good friend
contagiousmiles said "One of the greatest lessons we'll learn in life is to let go, not because we want to, but because we'll keep amazing things from happening if we continue holding onto the past".
I’ve always believed the saying “if you love something, set it free; if it comes back, it is yours; if it doesn’t, it never was.” Sometimes, I think relationships don’t work out at the time not because you weren’t meant for each other or good for each other, but it just wasn’t the right time of where one or both of the people were at in their life, at that time. However, if and when you do meet up again, both your hearts and head will know so clearly that either, ‘wow, I see now why we weren’t meant for each other but glad we can be friends’ or, ‘wow, there is no way that I’m going to let this relationship slip away again.’ It’s happened to me several times and has confirmed the above saying each time.