New day, new ideas, new everything maybe? Hospitalized once again...
In the hospital again, but this time is different. This time I asked for the help. I'm at the Chelsea Community Hospital at the only 'open ward' psychiatric unit in Michigan, supposedly. After 48 hours I have the option to take walks outside, and there's not even a door keeping me locked inside. I don't feel trapped like I have at other hospitals, and I don't feel like I'm being forced to do anything I don't want to do. Another thing that is amazing about this place is the staff. They actually care about the patients and how they are doing. At St. Mary's I always felt like the staff hated their jobs and blamed the patients for being sick and making them have to work. Whenever I asked a question to the staff there I felt like a burden, like I was making them go out of their way to help me. Not to say there weren't a few gem employees at St. Mary's, but overall the place felt like a downer. From the moment I got here I have received praise for asking for the help and encouragement to do the things that are helping me get better again. My only fear is that this is a phase I'm going through with my treatment, kinda like a 'high' after being so low. I can't let them distract me, I can't let that be a reason to not try. I'm surely not ready to go home so soon, I just got here yesterday at 9 am, but I'm ready to work on myself in ways I haven't tried before. Keeping a notebook with a list of "positive actions for the day" and a list of "negative and irrational thoughts". It's a nice change being here and I really hope to get all that I can out of the experience.