Giving Up

[bluecherrybomb]

Hm. I went to the counselor yesterday and we talked about how I've given up over the years. She told me she deals with a lot of people who over-perform in life to please people but I'm doing the opposite. I'm pushing people away at such a rate because I've given up now on friendship

Comments

[sorrowfulskies]

The world is very strange indeed. Half the time, it makes no sense to me either. I too have been struggling with a few of my friendships. With my friend, Miguel, he feels like he can say whatever to me and I'm not supposed to react negatively at all, then when I do, he asks me what my problem is. We don't get along too well outside of the tv shows we watch and games we play. He's too blunt and I'm to sensitive. It's not easy at all having a friendship with him, nor do I really understand him. So I can, in a way, relate to what you said about not understanding people or emotions.

One piece of advice I can give is just take pride that you are a person (and not just a blob of a person) that has hobbies that define you, for example gaming, making graphics and writing. Branch off of that, it's what I do when I talk to people. For example, you can relate to someone very simply by asking: "Hey, do you like video games?" if so, they may go on and on about it with you. If not, then on to the next person. Then if they don't care about what you have to say, move onto the next. I've found it works well in my case at work. I've made 3 friends there all simply because I love Skyrim and I mentioned it. Relating through hobbies, especially one that you do often, is the way I've made and kept a few friends. Granted, I don't have alot of real life friends because I don't care for drama. But you are correct in saying you don't care for it being just one sided, I'll be darned if I stay in a friendship that's just one-sided. I don't have time for that. I applaud you in saying that. (As for making friends online, I post to add me comms sometimes. Like I'll put my name, my current job, my hobbies, my fandoms and likes in a post and post it to the comm. Sometimes I get people asking to befriend me, sometimes I don't, but that's how I've found I can relate to people online, by mentioning hobbies.)

[bluecherrybomb]

Yeah, I'm pretty sensitive too about things and relationships like that just... confuse me. Because I don't know what to say. What do you say? And then people tell you you're socially inept and you get even more confused.

And I'm taking your advice, ha ha. I figure you are right. Maybe getting involved with people who share my hobbies will work. Eventually. So far, I think I'm going to just be sitting around for a while with no responses but maybe someone will hit me up.